Would you take your ex wife or ex husband back if…?
Yes she is my ex wife. and we have been split up for 8 months. well she drove across country with my 3 kids just so she could be with me again. I do love her but in my heart i was done with her. but I opened my heart back up and we got back together. Well since we have been back together. She told me that she has been with like 20 guys since we were split up. I have been with one other female. I know we were split up and that shouldnt matter but it hurts me to know that she was out there like that. I mean what would you guys and girls do? Would you just say screw it and end the whole thing. Cause truthfully each time we have sex its exactly that….just sex. Its not special any more at all. Its like someone else just pissed all on my territory. But I dont have room to talk cause I was with someone else too.But I dam sure didnt sleep with 20 girls. And if I did I wouldnt tell her cause it would just hurt her and make things worse. Just like she did me. I just dont know.
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Tagged with: 100 Girls • Ex Wife • girls • heart • love • Screw • sleep • Split Up
Filed under: How To Get Her Back
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This is why, in the Bible, it states that once a spouse has "laid" with another person, that spouse is now "soiled" and is "unclean", and that you are not supposed to "lay" with her ever again.
Never settle and never be settled for. Just because she drove across country to be with you, with your children, does not means she loves you more than her own life. It may be that she was running from something…..bills, ex boyfriends, no life, fear….etc.
If there is NO emotional connection…..which makes the sexual connection disappointing…..than do not settle because you feel obligated to her just because she "drove" across country to be with you. The two of you should be each other’s best friends and have ultimate trust. And considering that she was with so many guys, regardless of the fact the two of you are divorced, that brings up the question of whether you can truly trust her and her motivation in "wanting" to be with you.
Some women go from man to man in search of themselves, they usually have a low self esteem and are hoping that through sex, they can get a guy to fall in love with them……only to realize that she settled and than she goes to the next guy.
It sounds like your ex has a very low self esteem and, absolutely, no self respect. Just think what your children had to endure while they watched their mother "date" several men. She provided no stability for them. How sad.
Having sex with an ex is one way to determine if the relationship is over……and it sounds like it is. You can not MAKE love and forgiveness happen…..and marriage should never be a struggle….it takes work, yes…..not struggling.
So, honestly, I do not believe your ex is with you because she loves you……she is with you because she needs you to provide a safe harbor for a while till she doesn’t need you anymore.
A person needs another person because he/she loves that person…..You are not supposed to love someone BECAUSE you need him/her……..
The saying goes: "I need you because I love you….not I love you because I need you." There is a huge difference.
Yes I would. Maybe she was having sex with 20 guys to get over you? Start fresh. Let the past be in the past. She is with you. Have you tried to make the sex more then just sex?
Even though you weren’t together while she was banging every guy she could I can see that its bothering you and that’s no way to begin the reconciliation process. Your marriage is over, you should move on.
what i wanna know is when the hell did she have time to have sex with 20 guys while having your 3 kids?
i mean dam she’s freaking super woman.
but i honestly think if you are just not happy like you were, then the best thing to do is leave her and be happy, life is short.
Think of it this way: Would you have said no to 19 other women who wanted you? Probably not so you shouldn’t be upset, but if you can’t get over it then screw it, it will suck for you if you can’t handle it.
I see cuckold Tuesday has begun….
I don’t answer many of these any more, hon, because I think most are now trolls. But you for sure are in a mental bind…. maybe some help?
You are in what we call and "approach-avoidance conflict". You wish to have your wife, you life and your family back, but her behavior is making that difficult. True, you were split up.
(I’m curious as to why she felt the need to confess her sexual record to you… make you feel she’s desirable and you goofed? Punish you? Make you feel sad you let her go? Really uncalled for, and a big error on her part. Rude, crude, unnecessary, particularly if she is hoping to heal this marriage. And just as a little added note…. guys have a far more difficult time getting over what I call the "eeewwww factor" than women do.)
I’ll confess to you that most of attempts don’t last two years, even with both in counseling and both hoping to save it. The rate is about 20% for more than two years.
Obviously you understand that it was unfortunate that she blathered away her sexual numbers to you.
Two things, hon.
1. Can you financially afford to just divorce the lady, and pay child support? Please remember that these people… your "wife" and your children will be in your life foreveahhhhhhhhh no matter what your choice.
2. Or are you and she willing to get a few sessions (maybe more) of counseling and resolve your issues without rage and resentment? And then do the necessary things to rebuild those items now gone in this marriage…Respect, Admiration, Passion and Trust…. the four biggies?????
Because there is no way you are going to be able to deal with this by yourself, I promise.
And as well, each of you needs to learn to get your issues out there by learning the language of attacking your issues, not each other.
(We used to teach this sort of thing in HS, hon, in classes like Marriage and the Family. Alas, we no longer do. We turn you guys out of hs with no skills in how to be a husband/wife/partner/parent. Hell, we don’t even teach you how to balance a check book or that credit card companies are charging you 23% !!! And for that, I’m so sorry, but I digress)
Because unless you two do an about face in dealing with each other, and your marriage, and how it functions, you and she don’t stand a chance to have this marriage survive, much less ever, ever get over your resentment. You two need some help in learning, yes LEARNING to be spouses and parents, from this posting, she a bit more than you.
Easy? not at all. Guaranteed? No, sorry.
Hope this helps. Write if you wish. My mail isn’t blocked.
Who cares if it was 20 or 1? The result is still the same; you left her unguarded and vice versa. I’m sure she is hurt over the 1 you had. She probably is thinking "at least with 20 different guys I had no time to form a true emotional connection – they were all temporary". If you love her and are serious about the relationship then quit wasting your time over the past like this. Take it as a learning lesson to not leave her again because your only setting the situation up for someone else to have her.
My husband and I are having a daughter within the next 4 weeks. He says he feels like a rooster guarding 2 hen houses now – lol. Obviously he doesn’t want any guy to have any chance with me since I’m his wife. He doesn’t want any guys around his soon to be little girl til she at least has her college degree.
Your wife is a s lut.
Also, if it bothers you that much, and when you have ‘sex; it is just that-it does not mean anything special-then maybe its a hint that you should move on
You are holding a resentment-inadvertently.
She is dum b if she thought sleeping with 20 men would get her over you. That crap does not work-time and possibly meeting someone that dirves you as nuts as the person that left you/you left-is what helps heal the pain, for the most.
Hum..
You need to be honest with her, communication is about marriage.
**My ex slept with over 10+ women. As grossed out as I was, and I told him too-lol. I told him he’s a pig,I lovedhim so much and I know in my heart I would be willing to look past that and be with him, because I know if he wants to be with me-he only has eyes for me. **
We are good friends now-but had we gotten back together, I know in my heart-though it was disgusting what he did-if we were together, I would have moved on from what he did when we were not together.
Are you sure it was 20 guys? Sometimes women will say these things to make their mates jealous. I’d say try to put it past you. Do what you can to forget about it and start fresh with her, even if it means going to couples therapy. Frankly, I would rather not discuss with my man what he did while we were separated. The only concern I would have is whether or not I should be worried about STD’s. I would ask him to get tested, get myself tested, and then be done with it. I don’t need to know the how’s, why’s, or who’s. Try to focus on the fact that she is with you now and that is all that matters. Good luck.
no i don’t think i could take him/her back if they even slept with one other person, because every time u had sex with them u would think of them with that other person.some things are better left unsaid, have to wonder what her motive was for telling u about all these other men.
It depends on if you can truly forgive her in your heart. It would be tough, I know. That is something you should decide. Ideally, it would be better to reunite the family again, for all of you. With time, renewed commitment, love, and trust this can be a mistake made in the past. Why she told you? My best guess is that she knew the children would talk about mom’s male friends and/or she wanted to be honest with you from the start. I lean toward the latter so everything is in the open and you two can begin again with a clean slate. Best of luck!
she was stupid to tell you…
but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the sex.
http://sexwiththeexwife.blogspot.com
Something tells me she’s lying.
I know, I don’t know you or her, I just feel a disconnect in this story.
I think she lied to you just to hurt you. What was the reason for the break up in the first place?
I really think she told you this huge number because she wants to look like a prize and you should want her because "all these other people" want her.
I’m sorry if I’m of no help to you, its just what I think. 20 guys!!! Come on! That’s like sleeping with a small classroom!!!!
She’s lying to you.
Sure, but only as long as she video taped all of her escapades so that she & I could watch them together… oh, wait, it’s not Tuesday
EVERYONE deserves love…even a whore.
(oops…Waiting for the next VN)
EDIT: ROFL@31 flavors
Yes, the little slut that lives inside of me would most definitely have been lining them up for sure. Some people act like enjoying sex is a bad thing. Even Baskin Robbins has 31 flavors!
If you truly love this woman
And in your heart you want to stay…Pray that God give you the Grace to forgive her..because truthfully even though she has had more partners you both are guilty of the same thing and quantity here shouldn’t matter if the love is strong…I do understand your dilema…can you live with that…What does your heart really tell you….only you know that…
Honesty is the key and she is just telling you the truth. If your upset with that, then you need to move on without her. You should look at it this way, out of the twenty guys she had sex with, she came back to you, so that must mean something right?
To sleep with that many people in a life time is to live your life as if an animal with out any thought or repricusion to your actions.
There are far to many diseases and nuts out there now days for me to sleep with that many people any time for any reason.
Sounds like this bothers you a lot and you need to discuss it with her. Plus seek counselling and a dr.
An ex is an ex for a reason. Usually a very good reason.
Yeah, I wouldn’t.
I would say screw it and end the whole thing. because it would be hard for me to move on.
aww..how did she handle 20 guys if she has 3 kids?
actually when i divorced(hen i returned) i thought i won’t remarry nor have other man in my life…
but i noticed other men..
and i had to return to my husband..
well i guess because the divorce wasm
t ended as he refused,,none of us slept with smb else anyway during the divorce…I never actually
but it looks then when a woman wants to divorce the man becomes quiet still as he sees so…and being married they are chalenged to cheat..
of course being not married you cannot cheat
I guess my question would not be how many people she has slept with in the last 8 months (and yes that ALOT of men), I would question WHY she has returned. It seems as if she went thru a string of men looking for someone to take care of her and her kids, but has been unsucessful so she’s come back to you.
Remember, the problems that split you up 8 months ago are still there and unresolved. It seems as if you took her back because it is convenient for her. Since it seems that she has gone thru a couple a men a month, how long do you think this relationship will last. Sleeping with 20 men means she has been out with many more during the 8 months. Right now she has no idea what she is looking for, it’s not up to you to foot the bill while she ‘finds herself’. Your no longer the husband.
she came back because she loves you, you have children together, and you took her back because you love her, you should have never discussed the fact that you two were with other people, since you two were done, it shouldn’t have been even up for discussion. the fact that she became promiscous shows only how much in pai she was, i’m not trying to justify what she did, but i know many women wehn they are hurt they look for love the wrong way in relationshiop that ends with sex only though, you also did the same, i suggest you talk to her and agree both on never to talk about this, to say out loud to each other i forgive you for what you did, even though i was not there with you as a partner, so i owe you nothing then, and make a promise to start cherishing each other in every way possible, if you can seek counseling, and remember that a body is just a body, it’s used so many ways sadly, but what matters in what’s in your hearts, there was no cheating, so move on from this, make a happy family, you can do it.