Wife wants to sleep in different bedrooms for awhile?
My wife and I have been married for over five years. I recently put her in rehab for alcoholism. For the year prior our relationship had been deteriorating mainly because of the alcohol but also because I had become very demanding and less of a friend to my wife.
She has been in rehab for 3 weeks and every Saturday she gets to leave for 3 hours. The last 2 Saturdays I have been implementing a book by Homer McDonaId that I read on how to save a marriage and it seems to be working. My wife started crying when I dropped her off today because she wanted to be with me.
She called me this evening and said she has not felt about me the way she did today in a long time. She then said she may want to sleep in the spare room when she comes home for awhile and act as though we are dating…I think this is not a good idea for me personally because I miss my wife and also want sex.
Can anybody think why this may be a good idea?
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Tagged with: alcohol • alcoholism • Bedrooms • homer • How To Save A Marriage • long time • marriage • Rehab • relationship • saturdays • sleep • spare room
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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She’s just getting ready to start a "new sober life", you need to give her time!
Is she there, because she wants to be , or because you made her?
You need to show more understanding, and quit<"implementing" things to her!
good luck to you both
be happy and always make your wife your better half happy.
have her in her own way and treather with more tenderness and affection.
She is in rehab, she is in the withdrawal stage also. This is actually good, why you ask? Maybe its a confirmation to her that if she is not drinking, is she still sexy or appealing to you and you for her? Start with compliments, how beautiful, sexy and attractive she is, build her confidence back up first. Have some fun with it, don’t take it personal…pretend you are courting her…go to her room wearing a robe with nothing on underneath it and bring a bottle of Sparkling Cider and have a romantic evening at her place. Bring some sexy relaxing music, massage oil and maybe a sexy movie, get creative and let her know she doesn’t have to be intoxicated to have fun, be beautiful and make love with her husband.
i actually wanna do this when i get married. My reason is b/c i’m used to sleeping alone now and I really don’t wanna share a room
I feel that i need my alone time and i don’t know if i’d ever feel comfortable enough sharing a room even with my husband. Also i’m a really light sleeper and i’m so used to sleeping alone. I think you should relax about this b/c the bright side is that you guys can feel the relationship sort of renewed. I think it’s good to have a little bit of yourselves leftover..especially as the years add up, you guys will get very tired of each other. This is one way to keep a marriage alive. It can be the best of both worlds b/c just b/c you’re sleeping separely does not mean you won’t have sex. You can meet up in one room and have sex then go to your separate rooms to fall asleep. And in the morning if you wanna be with her, just go into her room. The way i see it, the only difference is that you’ll have to get up and walk a few steps to her room. Try to see the bright side b/c there are tons. I know sleeping and sharing rooms is the norm in marriages these days but then again, 60% of marriages fail! If your wife feels that she needs this, there’s not much you can do. Just try to see the bright side and make plans to come into her room often.
Because your marriage had been deteriorating, your wife put up walls to protect herself. The alcohol further distanced her. Now that she is recovering, she has to face the realities that exist due to her addiction. She has a lot going on emotionally, and probably does not feel capable of being vulnerable.
You guys need to get to know one another again, and she probably feels she needs to get to know you as a sober woman. Many marriage counseling programs have a period of no sex, and then gradually re-introduce it into the relationship by slowly increasing the amount of physical contact/intimacy.
Personally, I think it is a great idea. Fall in love again, then have sex.
At least she is in t he same house. Sometimes the sacrifice we make is for the better future. If this will help her, then support her and be there for her. she will come back to you.
It’s not about YOU! It’s not about your NEEDS!
You need to let her recover & not worry about getting sex from her. This should be the least of your worries.
sorry but sex can wait, this is coming from a women that her husband wont even touch her, your wife needs to know u love her not just for sex, if u can send her flowers and cards, make her feel like a women not a sex toy. i have never heard of the book so i cant say anything about that. but what has helped me to understand my husband is the book called the power of a praying wife they have one for husbands. it helps u understand what is going through our heads and how we think. it is not to be use to control us. but to help guide u men to understanding us. best thing i can say is treat her like a real women and be a real man and break down and get into touch with your self, i dont know why men have a hard time with this. my husband wont watch any chick flicks with me. the only shows he will watch is if it has guns and stuff that gos bomb. if that isnt is it he doesnt watch it. also be careful what u watch in front of your wife, my husband also likes to watch shows that put wifes down, they say how bad it is too have a wife u keep listening to that u will belive it. my husband now wont even put his dishes up and if i ask he says that is your job. help your wife out around the house. make her feel loved and u will feel respect from her. also read that book love and respect u might like it.