If you and your spouse have grown apart, how can you fall in love with each other again?
How can you fall in love with each other again?
We’ve been married almost 4 years, and have two beautiful kids. Things have been rough lately, and we’re growing apart. I don’t want to lose my husband, but the romance is completely gone from our relationship. I have seriously thought about moving on, but I still love my husband and don’t want to put my kids through a divorce. He feels the same way.
Is there a way to save our marriage, or is it time to call it quits?
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Tagged with: divorce • Fall In Love • marriage • relationship • romance
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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You have to date again. Have time to yourselves for a change. See along the way us parents forget about what brought us together in the first place. Have a date night twice a month. Cook together, talk, take time out of the day to pet each other and remind each other of why you two are so good for one another. He is still a hot guy and you are still a hot gal. Show it. Take care of each other. Keep yourself up and make love not just have sex. Or you can make it hot and dirty every now and then. Relax for a change and have fun together. When was the last time you two laughed and had a really good time? Get out of the old routine you two have created and enjoy life, kids, and each other honey. It is not rocket science.
It’s never time to call it quit unless both of you don’t feel anything for each other. In your case both of you still love each other, and basically what has happened here is that probably both of y’all have been too busy for each other. It got to the point where it started to get distant. Try to make time for each other, do something romantic and bring that spark back. Surprise him once in a while with SOMETHING. Either cook a romantic dinner for both of you, buy him something once in a while. Let him know how much he means to you and how important he is in your life.
I’ve been married over 21 years and I will tell you absolutely that with an attitude like that your marriage is doomed. Marriage isn’t there to make you guys feel better or all mushy or anything like that. Look up the word commitment and that will give you an idea of what you need to do.
I asked my wife why our marriage lasted so long and she said it’s because divorce was never an option – NEVER. No matter what insane or brutal things happened to us we stuck together – through periods of extreme despair, loss, etc., there was never the option of leaving, because that’s what commitment means – it means no back door.
So I’d start by changing your context around this. No – you are absolutely NOT getting a divorce because romance is NOT what a marriage is about. Close the back door you both have and start paying attention to your children, not yourselves.
What have YOU done to initiate the romance? Sometimes, one partner is better at expressing themselves and planning than the other. You may have to do some extra work here if that is you. If it’s him, then you can’t expect him to do it all. Come up with some ideas too.
Marriage dies when one or both people stop working on it. Have you tried adding the spice back into the bedroom with new things? How about date nights(dinner, dancing,movies, a good play,sporting events,etc…)? Where did you meet? Go back to that spot and share stories. There are A LOT(it’s endless)of things to do to bring romance back, but you have to want to for it to work.
Are you looking elsewhere, is there someone already in mind? People usually want out when they’re looking over the fence.
Well, do new things together. Maybe go to college and take a cooking class, or philosophy ANYTHING that you both like. That will give you someting to talk about.
Take break from eachother..Like go fly out to see family every so often..That way you will miss eachother! Im sooo serious it works..Then while you are gone call him and talk sexy to him.
Be mysterious and new!!! Like if you usually do things a certain way Surprise him!!! Then if he asks why just share as LITTLE AS POSSIBLE..make him curious about you! make him wonder whats next…
Take up a hobby and become passionate about it..People who have a passion are always sexier.
Dont share everything!!!! SO many married ppl think they have to share every little thing…NO!!! you have friends for that,,rememeber the mystery..the passion..the surprises!
Do you both love each other? If so, there are things you can try. Set aside one night a week for a "date". Any night will do. On that night, get a sitter and go out. Whether to a park for a walk, a dinner, a movie…. it doesn’t matter where, but have your "date" once a week. Of course couples counseling could help as well. It can teach you both how to communicate your needs to each other in an effective way, as well as teaching you how to express your differences in a constructive way. You might also both want to consider having some designated time to yourselves.
well i found it helpful to make a date night no kids nothing childish abt it i rented a nice room with a big tub candle light music even movie for the two of us to enjoy together go out to dinner and then maybe dancing if that isnt his thing then to the hotel some wine and music maybe a rub down and i nice hot sexy bubble bath with candles around it and get that romance back dress up have your nights put your babies to bed early and put on your sexy little out fit and get your husband running back home to you everyday! good luck