Winning your ex wife back?
I don’t like the word winning but can’t think of a better term. But I am looking for ideas on how to gain back my ex’s trust and to have her fall in love with me again. I buy her flowers for her birthday and try to help her where I can. I know everyone says they are ex’s and move on but she is not in a relationship with anyone and I have a daughter with her and I really love her and miss her. We may be divorced but if she hasn’t moved on and we are still friends and get along great I still feel like fighting for her. What are some ways I can gain trust back with her and have her fall in love with me all over again. I am trying to have patience and give her some space. We have only been divorced a couple of months. Neither cheated on each other when we were married.
Divorced because of financial problems, trust issues, her wanting to be independant. It was 99 percent my fault and I have apologized a lot
I haven’t watched fireproof and she didn’t want to see it with or without me. She is the one who initiated the divorce and the trust issues were with her not with me. I wanted to do whatever it took to stay married even if it meant to stay seperated longer to get things straightened. We weren’t even seperated a year before the divorce. It was a very quick divorce and no lawyers
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Tagged with: Ex Wife • flowers • Gain Trust • hasn • lawyers • love • patience • quick divorce • relationship • trust issues • Word 98
Filed under: How To Get Her Back
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but have you CHANGED??
and her wanting to be independent is huge has she changed??
99% of the time going back to an ex is a VERY bad idea as there is a reason they are your ex.. and unless those reasons have changed they will be your ex again eventually.
trust is a huge problem.. the old saying fool me once shame on you; fool me twice shame on me…..
once trust is broken it is almost impossible to get it back.
when your relationship started you were in the power position <if you weren’t so many of the problems wouldn’t be your fault by your own admission> if you "win her back" she will be in the power position… are you prepared for that?
You stated "winning" her back. Think as to how you "won" her in the first place. Be her friend. Show her that you are and can be the same man she fell for in the beginning. Men, and women, forget how they first became attracted to one another and slowly drift apart wanting to be some thing or someone else and mostly when the divorce is immanent they ask why did this happen and how can I change it. I’m a firm believer that actions speak louder than words, show her how you feel, show her you are the man she loved in the beginning, and be true to her and yourself.
Confront her about how you feel. She just might feel the same way
You never mentioned why you divorced in the first place and who initiated it. Simply missing her isn’t enough if you haven’t addressed the underlying problems and she might not be to receptive to your gifts (romantic or otherwise) until she has solid proof that you in fact have changed etc. Even then she simply might not want to and you are screwed.
Shes fallen out of love for you maybe.Emmm.
If cheating didn’t end it then what did? That would weigh greatly on how to fix this.
You are gonna have to start saving money to prove that you can be financially sufficient. Have your own place? If not get one. Get your bills caught up and credit straight. Then maybe purchase/ pay for a home or car but make it a reasonable purchase. She needs to know that you care enough now to do better for yourself and your child. But even if you do all of this it may be too late. When a woman gets tired of the fight it’s hard to get her back in the game. Good luck.
There was a reason you divorced. I think you are a terrific couple in the sense of you have not made this nasty for your child. Keep being there for her and move on yourself. Show her what she is missing. You can’t keep the torch burning if there is no one there to start your flame. She loves you for the father you are, just not in love with you now. I think it is so admirable that you do the flowers for her. That is a wonderful way to show your child how terrific you are, and a sweet gesture on your part for your ex. Trust was never broken and doesn’t sound like the issue between you. If she doesn’t trust you then it is something she needs to work through not you.
She is an ex for a reason
Remind her that you want what’s best for your daughter.A close, happy family will really make your child grateful for her parents. I really can’t give much advice because my parents aren’t divorced and I’m still a teenager. On the brightside, you and your wife are friends which is a great plus.
I can speak from your ex’s perspective. If she doesn’t want to give it a chance, all of your efforts will be in vein. My ex of 7 years tried for several years. Personally, I found things like flowers, letters, cards and gifts to be uncomfortable and a little bit stalker-ish at times. There were no affairs when we were married either, but there were issues that were serious enough to lead us to divorce and for me the relationship stands no chance. Gifts and kind gestures now won’t change what happened in the past, and the emotion of it all is impossible for me to move beyond. Don’t get me wrong… he’s a great dad to our daughters and I’m thrilled that he’s there for them and is so good to them, but I just don’t see it happening with us ever again. If your ex is at this point then there really isn’t anything that you can do. I recommend telling her how you feel, then back off and let things be. She’ll either warm up to the idea or she won’t, but I wouldn’t sit around waiting if I were you.
ETA: I just read your follow up post. If I didn’t know better, I would swear you were my ex. Your situation sounds pretty much exactly like mine. Just know that apologies don’t go very far when you’ve lived in a situation with no trust (I’m assuming you didn’t trust her). Focus on yourself and figuring out why you don’t trust and work out your own internal issues. Unless you’re able to do that, it will all come back to you and you’ll find yourself at square one. Your ex probably realizes this, thus her resistence to the idea of a reconciliation. It’s probably too late for her to come around to the idea but you can do things to make your life much happier going forward. Don’t do it for her. Do it for yourself.
Have you watched fire proof? The love dare book is a great place to start.Which you can buy at a book store Go to http://www.fireproofyourmarriage.com Good Luck If you have not seen the movie you should go maybe even take her.
After my ex left I looked at and read a lot of stuff on reconciliation, but none of it works if there is another person involved, which is why she left in the first place. I liked this guys stuff the best: http://www.marriagemax.com/free-marriage-advice.asp
It doesnt sound like she wants to be married since she wants to be "independent". If she changes her mind she’ll let u know. In the meantime, get on with your life.