My wife’s had an emotional affair with a married man. Should I tell his wife?
10 months later I STILL HAVE CONCERNS
I had read 6 different books including Michele’s d_busting. We never went to counseling. Back in August 9, 2008 I discovered 100′s of phone calls made from my wife cellular to the manager of the PX supermarket were she used to purchase our groceries. Right after I told her about my discover she asked me for divorce.I starting reading and reading and reading desperate to save my marriage . I extracted everything from 6 different books since not everything applied to our case. I did my investigative work with not too good results. I stoped "interrogating" my wife since she was planning to fleet. We had a mix of miserable and wonderful days together.
10 months later I continue with the investigation and guess what…I found out that I was chasing the wrong OM and I called the "wrong" OMW back in Octuber last year…(sh#!@). I was close but it wasn’t enough.
Today. I know exactly who is the OM. I know the name of the OMW. They have apparently have a "happy" family. Both of them are going thru a second marriage. I told my wife from the begining that she was dealing with a married man. She didn’t believed me. She said the OM told her he was divorced and that he lived alone in an apartment. Guess what…they live in a house 7 miles from our house and the guy is the manager of a local PX supermarket.
My concern: I haven’t prove it yet but I believed they started the telephone convertations after this guy was promoted and transfered from the px supermarket close to our house to a supermarket 20 miles from us in June 2007. I tracked (gps) her once in Octuber last year after the Discovery day and I was able to confirm this. Now, yesterday I confirmed that this guy was transfered to a PX supermarket closer to our house. My wife is totally unaware of this situation. I entered the supermarket and I saw his picture hanging on the wall "store manager". My concern is: my wife sometimes goes to this supermarket. If she discover the guy is there something may happen. So far she hasn’t promise me she will not see this guy again. I’m confuse. Everything in our marriage looks so far so good but I feel unconfortable with this asshole now to close to us. I don’t know if should go to his work place and warn this guy about what could happens if I discover another phone call in my wife cell, or maybe I should treat him to let his wife know everything about his affair with my wife. That could start another problem that I can not afford at this point. I feel like I want "revenge". All the miserable days this guy made me go through but at the same time I realize that if my wife knows that I’m following this guy she may be not too happy. I also discovered that this guy launch his boat at the same marina we launch our boat.
After 10 months of hard work to get to were we are, to a point that it looks like a "permanent" honeymoon. I’m still affraid to blow it. Please somebody help me. I need feedback. For the last 2 days I haven’t been able to sleep well again. I’m having dreams about fighting with this guy. Even when I’m awake I feel like going to his place and tell what a piece a Jerk he is. Even I’m thinking about telling his wife. I know that even tho 10 months has passed it isn’t enough to cool down. I think if I ever get close this guy I will kick his ass or it could even be worse. I still don’t know. I feel unconfortable now that I know the OM is around. Need feedback
After 29 years married it’s difficult to think about divorce. My wife and me dicided not to talk about this anymore an continue we our lives. Actually we are having a better time together, thanks God. I admitted I had some problems and believe me I’m working hard to solve them. We dicided not to divorce. There is only one proble and thatis that my wife does want to answer all my questions. I pray to God every day and I believe he will change her heart and surprisily she will come to me and ask for an appology. Only after that I will be in peace. But I can’t ask for an appology. I think it will take time. I did emotionally abandon her to engage in internet chating. I confesed to her that I wasted a year in this f*&king Internet.
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Tagged with: 10 months • apartment • begining • Books • Cellular • counseling • discovery day • divorce • emotional affair • fleet • groceries • Guess • hanging on the wall • interrogating • investigative work • marriage • married man • michele • om • omw • px • second marriage • supermarket • wonderful days
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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Dump your wife, she doesn’t love you!
You’ll never get over this, so divorce her and let her be someone else’s problem. His wife didn’t do anything…YOURS did. That’s who you need to punish.
You’re going to drive yourself nuts. Either divorce her, or go get yourself some side nooky. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.
Dude just like it go and move on with your life. Sometimes things are better if left alone and plus you talk about fighting this dude. What about if beats the brakes out of your a$$. Then what. DUDE LET IT GO and go get some younger poon-tang
You desperately need counseling. If not you and your wife, then just you go. This is tearing you up and controlling your life.
If you and your wife haven’t gone to marriage counseling, then you haven’t done any hard work at all. You have no communication with her if you can’t discuss this with her, and all your concerns. That’s what you learn in counseling.
ok bro.. get rid of your wife and tell the other guys wife and also bang the other wife hard to get back at the dude.. and move on.. good luck to ya..
when I got cheated on I never got over it and you won’t either this is what happens when someone hurts you and breaks your trust. For real if you can’t get passed this it’s over.
It’s not worth it living like this everyday and once someone cheats on you they will do it again I know that for a fact. Yes you should let the other guys wife know she has every right to know.
You know you sound really hurt and just mentally tired from all this sometimes buddy you just have to give in the towel and say enough! There is decent women out there that would never put you through this kind of hell.
She isn’t worth it man she isn’t worth it. You could do better!
You got all this hate towards this guy when the one you should be dealing with is your wife.
She is the one who stabbed you in the back not him she is the one married to you.
You have a choice to make live with this every single day or get divorced it’s up to you. I filed for divorce on my ex and it’s the best thing I ever did yes it really sucked doing it at the time and I didn’t want to but I had to do it.
In the end it was the best thing I ever did in my life.
ok you need to stop stalking that guy. you decided to forgive your wife so you need to move on. dont worry karma is a bia and he will get his.
Well , if you desire to get back with your wife then any contact with him will make her angry. Keep that in mind. Contacting him or his wife will blow up in your face. It is up to her to your wife to do what is right for her. For you two to have any chance together you will have to let this go. Like it or not it has to get behind you where it doesn’t matter………….OM may not be "around" as you say. You keep this up and your wife finds out about your obsession and it is over…….
I really feel so bad for you because I can tell how much pain your in, but the way that you are viewing your situation is a lot different then an outsider would. First of all, why would you want to stay with your wife after she did something like this to you? Do you think that you deserve to be treated that way and that maybe you’ll never find another woman like your wife? I understand those feelings but if you’re going to put up with being treated like that then theres a good chance it might happen again. Second of all, the OM should be able to live right next door to you and you should still be able to trust your wife. You can’t keep her away from other guys but you should be able to trust her which obviously you can’t after all of this. The fact that you’ve decided to stay in your marriage is going to make the future more difficult to deal with because you are constantly going to be worried about your wife cheating on you. Is it really worth it?
As far as talking to the other guy, if you run into him in an appropriate place, I would talk to him and let him know exactly what he did to you and if you feel like telling his wife then do it, you shouldn’t be "afraid" of what your wife will do if she finds out. You shouldn’t be afraid of your wife and her actions at all, you’re the husband! I don’t think I would tell the wife, this guy is going to get what he deserves eventually because what goes around comes around.
Good luck! And please respect and love yourself enough to not put up with anything that you know you don’t deserve. There’s always someone else out there that will love you just as much and treat you better then this. Remember that!
please email me…would like to tell you my situation