cheating can i make him love me again?
me and my husband have been together for 9 years now and he told me the other day he wants to be with someone else that is 9 yearsw younger than him we do have 5 kids total i am only 25 and he is 29 we are staying in the same house still and he stays over at her parents house until 5am every morning and he says it is not about sex he cames home to me every day and that is how he wants it he still wants sex with me every day also i give it to him cause i think he will fall back in love with me he says its not you its me i love you but i am not in love with you i dont want a divorce cause that is 200 per child theses are just the things he says to me he is willing to go to marriage counseling just 1 time and i am willing to go to make my marriage work but is it really worth it if this is how it is going to be i love him so much and it is hurting me so bad cause he comes home and holds me and tells me he loves me and still makes me feel good and i allow that please help i need advice
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Tagged with: Cheating • divorce cause • Fall 98 • love • marriage • marriage counseling • marriage work • parents • theses
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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If you really want to be degraded like that, knowing that a man that promised to be with you only, is telling you he wants relations with someone else, then by all means continue this charade. Looks like this guy has you on lock down, meaning he is controlling you by manipulating your emotions and telling you sweet nothings just so he can get his pleasure from you.
If you want my advice. I would suggest you call it quits. Is it really worth you getting your feelings hurt over something like this? If you let him get away with this, he will think he can get away with more things. Also, children aren’t stupid. They will pick up on that and recognize it for what it is. They will grow up around seeing there mother getting push around over a guy. They may even pick it up from you and mess up there own relationship. Just because there parents aren’t together, doesn’t mean that they will grow up unstable. Just be real open to them and tell them how it really is.
Good Luck.
adopt a child
no way make him sleep alone !!
you have hurt my head.
It makes no sense
God bless dear.
Love is not enough
Love is not enough
Love is not enough
You deserve respect, consideration and honour
I know when you love someone it is difficult but it cannot be at the expense of hating yourself.
You need to give him an altermatum – He must do a full counselling procedure or else he must leave (maybe months not one).
He has emotional issues which you need to force him to resolve or you will end up in trouble.
Obviously this man does NOT love you or his children, Divorce happens but bringing in the children as a reason to why he does not want a divorce is despicable, personally I don’t think he will ever love you again and I understand why you still love him, but I think that this marriage is 100% over and you should get the child support not only to make him ‘suffer’ but because you will need it for your own good, and I sincerely hope that at least two of your kids are to the age where they can start to take care of themselves to take some load off yourself and that the $1000 a month help you and above all never give up hope or faith and hang in there.
Sincerly,
Nick
Where is your self respect my dear….Y are you lowering yourself down?? Please stand up atleast for yourself and your kids…Love is not everything respect, also counts a lot. Please move on with your life and be there for your kids atleast.
did you say 5 kids? and you’re just 25? wow!! your hands must really be full all the time! i guess this is partly the reason why your husband wants to be with a younger woman- to regain the lost youth that he once had…just an ego booster actually. you see, he must be feeling "all work and no play" in your house now, with 5 kids running around all the time.. he must be feeling exhausted with so much responsibilities that he failed miserably to understand that it’s not only him who’s stressed out, but also you.
though im impressed with your decision to make ur marriage work, i cannot say it’s really worth it at this point in time because the problem lies with him, not with you. so he has to come to his senses first. i suggest that you be firm..if he wants to go, then let him leave. he clearly isnt ready to be a real "dad". and please dont give in to his whims…dont let him "use" you to put off some steam… before you know it, you’d be ending up with 6 kids and not a husband around…
Cant make anyone love you no matter how you feel by giving in to his sexual needs or anything else its not going to change how he feels, and secondly he gave you the real reason he doesnt want to leave is because its going to cost him 500 a kid, your cheaper to keep, honestly get rid of this idiot and dont let him be a sperm donor anymore, he is using you big time… and get your life in order, and have more respect for yourself….
He said "its not you its me" that is the truth, please don’t blame yourself, and there is no time for self pitty.
He says he loves you but not in love with you.
"he loves you" is possible true, or it maybe he just remembers the time he did.
"but not in love with you" here is the shocker, i just found this out myself and ill post the source. He is correct he is not in love with you, and more likely than not he will NEVER be in love with you again.
Don’t despair. I will refrence "in love" with the love you and all couples had when they first met. i like to call it "puppy love". and it is always temporary, always!! it can last a very short time maybe a month or so. it can last 2 years or longer. But when the "in love" everyone feels like they no longer love the other person. Being "in love" is not real love. once you are over the puppy love and reality of that person sets in. In stead of trying to replace that puppy love feeling, now knowing its ALWAYS temporary, you both need to work towards TRUE LOVE. Its alot of work and alot of dedication, but that kind of love is much more substatial, and it doesn’t cloud your head like the puppy love, and its real. as long as you both work for it, that love builds.
He doesn’t want to divorce you because he can’t afford to pay child support AND keep his girlfriend. And as long as you continue to sleep with him, some attorneys will try to make out like you approve of what he’s doing. No more sex for him, EVER. Speak to your own attorney (if you don’t have one, get one) and get this yucky mess over with now before he gives you the cooties. You’ll thank me later. Sorry to be so brutal, I just wanted you to know the truth.
He is only with you to avoid financial obligations to children he helped create. You are worth more than that and it’s not a situation you want to raise children in.
Honey, I am so sorry you are going through this, but you need to think of your happiness and your childrens happiness, you need to get out, your husband wants the best of both worlds, and he can’t have it that way.
I am so sorry, I really am that he is putting you through all of this mental crap, tell him he can’t have it both ways, and you have to leave him not only for you, but for the children, it is so unfortunate that the children are getting the raw end of the deal here, so I would suggest, that you take your children and yourself and leave him.
He is playing on you and your emotions and he is using you and the emotions of your children.
Please get out and just leave him and do not put up with his emotional blackmail and emotional games and his mind games, he is manipulating you to the worst of extreams, and you do not need this!
Get out of this manipulating marriage, and you need to make you and your children happy!!!!!
He is not a husband, he is not a father, he is a creap for doing this to you, and the worst part is he does not even care!!!
divorce him, milk the bastard for every single penny… child support and alimony… he thinks you won’t leave him? prove him wrong, leave him… he is a jerk… !!! the only advice you need is to leave him… he wants his lady on the side yet he wants you there so he does not have to pay child support! don’t settle for less than you deserve, do you want a disease? your marraige won’t work unless he dumps this "other woman", and that is the truth! show your children how to dump someone who cheats! don’t teach them to put up w/ it, kids are not stupid =(… good luck! kick him to the curb… counseling only works if both put 100 percent into the marraige which means he has to dump the other lady!!! sex or no sex!!!
Based on what he has told you,why would you continue to give him the benefits of being with you when in fact the only reason he comes to you is because you will allow him sex?!
He doesn’t want a divorce because of child support?! So he is doing you daily,yet spending his quality time elsewhere. He’s not IN LOVE with you, but his LUST FOR YOU is working fine. It’s time for you to take control of this situation. Contact this other girl and her parents, perhaps they don’t know he’s married with 5 kids, that should change his situation there. Then change the locks on your home, lock up that wonderful thing between your legs, and make him decide what he wants to do. Then decide what you want; him back with a lot of baggage and needed hard work for the two of you to make it, or a clean break where he must support his children and you are in control of your life. You are the wife with children you are in fact, in control…and he knows it. So put an end to his games and force him to grow up and be a man.