How to tell my parents about my secret marriage?
A few months ago, me and my partner decided to get married in civil secretly before he left to work abroad. My parent and family was against my relationship with my partner, aside from the fact that we were neighbors and my partner’s life was an open book in our neighborhood, he was jobless for many years not until we met. He was a changed man now and currently working hard in abroad to prove to my family that he’s capable for me. Now, that his contract will be finished in a year and already started saving some for our church wedding and for our living. I don’t know how to tell my parents about our plans and also to inform them about our civil marriage because I know that it could hurt them and probably disappoints them. Can you suggest me on how to tell my parents about it in a way that they will learn how to understand me and my partner.
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Tagged with: church wedding • civil marriage • marriage • neighborhood • neighbors • parents • relationship • Secret Marriage • Work Abroad
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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Since the two of you have taken the adult step and got married, then whichever way you both choose to tell them, you & your new husband must be strong. However disappointed they may be, you have to be adult about it and not allow them to make you feel like children. Tell them you are married, but for their sake, you are offering to have a church wedding. That this is a gesture you and your husband are making, for the family to join in your happiness. But the fact remains that you are already married. For the sake of expenses, you may consider having just a reception. Whatever good you share with them about your husband, they will not accept fully until they get to see for themselves how well he treats you. Don’t let them convince you both to move too close, or you’ll always be under their watchful eye. You’ll always feel you have to defend your relationship with him. Congratulations! And I wish you both the very best for your future together.
Civil marriage and church marriage are two entirely different things.
If you’re religious, you’re not married in the eyes of god, so it shouldn’t be more than a legal document to you.
You don’t need to tell them, just let the priest know that you’re already married and not to bother sending in the paperwork.
Dont tell them give it time for them to build up trust for this guy then have them be part of the church wedding and all will work out.Start telling them about all the good things he is accomplishing for now and slowly bring them together.
Well you should tell your parents that you are an adult. And the only way you will learn from anything Is If you try It. You have to build your life on experience’s some good, some bad. And I’m sure your parents made a few and that’s probably why they are trying to help you not make a bad choice. If It Is what makes you happy then go for It because no matter what you do you cannot please everyone, do It for yourself.
Hope this helps and congrats!
I’m assuming you and your husband are both adults. If that’s the case, sit your parents down and tell them you’re married. What’s the worst they can do to you? Yell, scream, take you out the the will? Sure, they’ll probably be disappointed, but I’m sure in time they’ll get over it.
My ex-husband and myself, eloped at the age of 19. I told my parents even though they were paying for my wedding ceremony because I felt it only fair. You’re an adult now, and things you do, good or bad have consequences. Good Luck!
Ted’s Emporium is very wrong on whether or not you are married in the eyes of God. St. Paul said that if you are married even under Pagan Idols by any government you are still married and have to honor that. Even if that person is not good you are still married. Even if you married them before converting.
Tell them you are engaged for now and that you love him and will love him forever and that’s he a good guy and will do them proud.
Just have a conversation with them, tell them that u were afaid of telling them about ur civil marriage , how you love them and that u were afraid that they woulfnt let you getting married etc… and talk with them about ur plans for the church wedding, to tell u their opinion etc…
let me teach you some thing about life, god said leave your mommy and daddy and stick with the one you love, your husband or wife, 2 is a pair 3 is a crowd, the best way to destroy your life and his life is let your parents get involved. grow up and forget mommy and daddy , who cares,all they wanmt to do is control you and mess up your life, they dont care for you all they care about is what they want, and they are to controling. your personal life is PERSONAL, please your husband , not your mommy and daddy, marry your husband , not your mommy and daddy
I know it’s kind of hard. but you should of told your parents in the first place.
so that way they’d still trust you.
just go and make a nice dinner or something.
and then while you guys are eating, just say, "mom, dad? I’m engaged… to the guy you seem to talk about, ____ blank.
something like that.
"and I know you don’t want us to be together but I love him for who he is and no one can change that. I’m sorry I’ve kept this from you for a long time. can you forgive me?"
but be sure to make sure they stop eating for a second, just say, "may I have your attention please?"
it’s just to make sure they don’t choke on anything when you spill the beans.
So I hope this helps you out. And just have confidence.
Good luck.