why does my wife hate me?
my wife was 100% loyal to me while i was in the army and deployed. but as soon as i got out and we moved back to the states she cheated on me. i decided to give her a second chance and moved our family to florida to start over, but she acts as if she doesn’t care about me anymore. all the reasons she had for cheating on me i changed. so that she couldn’t use that as an excuse anymore, but she doesn’t seem to care no matter how hard i try. she shows me absolutely no affection whatso ever and the worst thing about it is that i am stuck with her because i went 100′s of thousands of dollars into debt for her and if we split up i will not be able to afford to pay all the bills i made while working on our relationship. when ever i ask her why she is this way to me she says she doesn’t know. but i know she is not telling me the truth. i ahve no way of going out to make friends because i have to watch our kids. i don’t work anymore because i was wounded during the war. I do pay all the bills, and do my best to take care of my family. but no matter how hard i try she act as if i am a ghost in the house. i have givin her my entire heart and now i don’t know what to do. my heart hurts so much from being depressed that i literally have to inflict massive amounts of pain upon my self to get my heart to stop hurting. i have no idea what to do. if i loose her then i give up on life,love and trust. the only one i have to talk to is my dog, who was a gift from her when i got back from the war to help me with my problems, but now i found out that soon my dog, who is also my only friend will have to be put to sleep in a few months and then i will have no one to keep me company or come to me when i am down. my entire life has been a downward spral no matter how hard i try to make the best of things something always bad happens to me. i don’t know how much more of the this i can take. and i have already attempoted to hang myself but she cut me down then had me arrested and thrown into a mental hospital for awile. i have no where else to turn so i thought i would see if anyone on here may have an idea that may help me. all i want is to be loved again and not feel so alone.
Related Information:
Tagged with: acts • affection • army • excuse • ghost • heart • love • massive amounts • mental hospital • relationship • second chance • sleep • telling me the truth • thousands of dollars
Filed under: How To Get Her Back
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
You can’t expect anyone to love you if you can’t even find a way to love yourself. You have been through an awful lot, you need to contact the VA and seek counseling. If your story is true they are fully equipped to help you through counseling and medication. If you served for your country you are a hero. You have many things to be proud of. Please seek help, start with the VA.
If this is a troll and a fake question you are truly a sick person and need to seek help as well.
Well, tell her you want to be loved again, and I’m sure she’ll comply.
If she doesn’t put her all into the relationship then you guys aren’t made for each other imo.
probably because you were away for so long and she doesnt like that and she ,ight have liked the other guy because he never leaves her side or she might have met him while you were gone and wanted him because he doesnt leave her to go to the army.
P.S
its great that you serve your country though! <3
Man you need company! Aren’t there any veterans organizations in your neighborhood? American Legion or Veterans of Foreign Wars? Yes, there are people out there who will help you but you must make an effort.
it seems you are going about this the wrong way. if you are depressed an all she may be getting a little burned out on that. i’m not trying to be mean just honest. so you need to have a better outlook. work on yourself and if she comes around she does. if not then oh well you can move on. but at least you will be happy. and don’t stay with someone because of bills. that’s crazy. you should be with someone because you want to be not because you feel you have to be.
i think once you have a more positive attitude she may find you more attractive. try going a while without questioning her, or complaining to her and see if your relationship improves at all. you need to learn to trust her again but mostly as i said before you need to work on you being happy for you. the rest will fall into place. by the way suicide is never the answer.
you seam a nice person and she is a b…. for doing this to you, sorry.
im sorry your wife is a cold hearted person. I LOVE YOU
you could be really messed up in the head and she doesn’t want to be around that anymore… but either way you should leave that lieing cheating whore. you could try marriage counseling but no sure how much it would help ya at this point.
one of the most clear-cut cases to be made for divorce is a cheating spouse; i would encourage you to be pro-active and move forward with this decision. it would be a step forward in you taking back control of your life… then next step is to file bankruptcy. you can either continue to fret about these issues or take steps to reconcile them. be self sufficient, do not fear the court proceedings; judges are human too. your service will be recognized. being alone can be lonely, but the loneliest people are those stuck in a bad marriage. seek out worthwhile endeavours, spiritual things. a dog is not a suitable companion for a man. in future relationships do not fail to set goals. develop a vision for your future and make it happen. i wish you the best
You’re throwing a pity card like its going to change the fact that you mentioned you gave her many reasons to be hurt by you. Sometimes you push a person over the point of no return. Women can take alot but once you’ve lost it, dude you have to really push to earn it back. Have you ever really apologized for the things you did? Loving her now that you need her is your pay back. She probably felt that way back in the day about you. Let her know how bad you feel right now and how sorry you are about the things of the past. Look to working together to build a future. I would suggest counseling and flowers.
It’s hardwired. Read the below analysis.
How sad! I am so sorry to hear this. It happened to my neighbors across the street and my husband’s best friend. Some of the women just change when their men go away. I would see a shrink ASAP and get professional help. I would also suggest a support group. This is too heavy and complicated for us armatures on this site.
Thank you for serving our country too. God Bless you and we all wish the best outcome for you.
Thanks for your service.
About all I can think of is that she has lost her respect for you. Perhaps by forgiving her and in part taking the blame for her infidelity (all the reasons she did it for I changed) you look to her like a coward and a weakling.
Women are genetically programed to be attracted to alpha characteristics in a mate. You have to be top dog in some way. It can be anything from CEO to president of a chess club to rocker to playwright, but there has to be something. It sounds like you went from Baddass butt- kicking soldier to house husband in a flash. See what I’m getting at? Trying to hang yourself is not very macho. I know it’s sick and sad that they function that way and don’t really love us the way we love them but it’s the way the world works.
So, what you have to do is start thinking about the difference between the way she perceived you back when she was hot for you and the way she perceives you now. It’s not about reality, it’s about what she thinks she sees. You have to re-create your image. It will take a little time.
Google things like "alpha male characteristics" and stuff like that to start getting some ideas. Once you’ve decided what sort of an image you need to create then start working on everything. You’re attitude, clothes, actions, everything. Sometimes being nice and giving is exactly the wrong thing.
Good luck
DUDE..WALK AWAY…
id hate to say it but if she cheated on you when you came home, she was cheating all along.. dont be fooled. your best bet is to move on. do you really want to be with someone who isnt putting their all into it?
Oh sweetheart, let me tell you something, nothing, and noone is worth taking your own life. I know that life sometimes feels as though there is no use in even trying or being here any longer, but believe me that is not the case, you are stronger then this, and I know that strong man is in there. You are severly depressed right now, and believe me I know how this feels. I lost my entire life, when my ex-husband chose drugs over his family. I lost a three bedroom house, 3 cars, my family, and to put the icing on the cake walked into my house while my ex was in my bed with another women.(who he got pregnant that next month) My point is we have two choices, to give up(which is the "easy" way, and very cowardly in my opinion) or you can pick your self up, brush yourself off and realize how many things you have in life to be thankful for in life. You say that you have children right? Let me ask you this, I know they mean the world to you, do you want to cut there time with you short b/c your marriage isn’t going the way you planned? I know you don’t, and I know you know the right thing to do is not what you have been thinking about. Sweety, I have been in your spot, rigth were you sit at this very moment, and it is a very helpless feeling, uncontrolable, and it is for us. What I realized is that I was never alone. I am going to ask you to do something for me, if you have a bible please PLEASE open it, say a little prayer and believe what you are saying is possible before you begin to read something like " Lord I ask you to give me strength and courage that I need to get through this troubled time, guide me and give me strength to overcome my obsticales, direct my path and foot steps and take me in the direction I am supposed to be in. Then open your bible and begin to read, let the power of the lord take hold of your troubled heart, because believe me he can and will if you ask. Here are a few sweety
Isaiah 40:29 He gives strenth to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, "declares the LORD," plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Luke 5:31 Jesus answered them,"It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.
Psalm 6:2 Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint; O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony.
What I am getting at sweety, is that no matter how alone you feel, you never, and I mean never are. I think that if you lean on the Lord and give all of your troubles to him, he will direct you in the path you are supposed to take. Dont you ever give up, and if you ever need to talk you e-mail me and I will help you through your problems. With man this is impossible, with God all things are possible. Have faith that things in your life are about to change for the better. Live right and good things will happen in your life. Remember, no matter how terrible your wife treats you, she isn’t worth cutting your life short for, Your children need their father, and you can get through this believe me! I wish you all the luck in the world. Much love!! Dont give up ever!!
Sorry so long…………….:)
Stop depending on your wife to help you feel better about yourself.
If you need to feel whole, make your kids feel better about themselves and show what the right thing to do is.
When your old and you no longer have any marriage, they will be there, and if you weren’t there for them, they won’t!
There understanding and Love will be more important than any amount of money you spend on a failed relationship!
Go Figure!
I am sorry to hear that you are dealing with an unfaithful mate. I know that you are in debt and love your wife but something has to give one way or another. If you are doing all you can and love and respect her and your marriage don’t you think you deserve the same? Why don’t you get another puppy? That will help also. If she loved you my dear she would not treat you so harshly. True love would not do that to you my darling. You have the children to think about but also yourself in such a time. God frowns upon divorce but also on a cheating spouse. You need to build your self confidence again as a human and as a man. Put your foot down. Stand up and be accounted for. You are good man with a good heart and it does not go unnoticed, trust me. What you need to do is start each day off with a prayer asking God to grant you the serenity to change the things that you can, accept the things that you cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference between the two. You asked her why and she said she does not know. That is a lie my darling she is just being a bitch and being very selfish because she knows you will not leave her. I agree that you should not leave her but make her leave the home.
Tell her that you need time to think about where this marriage is going. Inform her the children cannot go with her but she can come by to visit the family on the weekends. This is hard for you but needs to be done for the sake of your family. Tell her that this cheating has gotten out of control and her lack of respect for your family and this marriage has become unaccpetable. Be firm but loving. If you are paying all of the bills anyway it should not be an issue. Tell her that you love her and this time apart should let her know what she would like to do. Tell her that if she decided to get a divorce she needs to find a way to pay for it on her own and you will file for custody of the children. Your divorce will go in your favor due to her continuous adultery. Tell her she has put this family in great compromise with her actions. She gave reasons that she cheated and you changed. But she did not so that tells you that she was lying and continues to do so. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off my darling. You are a man first and foremost. You deserve to be treated with love, respect, and trust. Your marriage has no trust or repsect. Take care of you and your children. But pack her things and send her off and wish her the best of luck until she decides if she wants to be married or not. You do not have to divorce but separation is needed with this women. To let her know how serious and fed up and hurt you truly are.
Look my friend I understand fully as I went through the same thing,and I offer my friendship to you. I know you love her but,if she really loved you she wouldn’t of never have done that to you in the first place. The best thing for you to do is go with your life the best way you can and make good friends for morel support. And remember its not your fault. I know its hard to try to move on but, You must. (Most important) Even one life wasted in susicide is an horrible loss. For everyone is here for a reason, we may not know that reason and may never know, but God has plans for every single person. And if your not A believer of God then know this every life effects another and your light in this world would be missed. Even more so now because I know of you and your story. Your friend Jon
.-= Jon´s last blog ..Any love spells I can use? =-.
In all respect, men (and women sometimes) are so stupid. I commend the fact that you served your country, but you are missing the signals she’s sending you that she checked out a long time ago. Be thankful that you won’t have to pay for child support and move on. Sorry.
Hi, Neat post. There is an issue with your website in web explorer, would check this? IE still is the market leader and a large element of people will pass over your fantastic writing because of this problem.
My partner and I Consider corporate gift items and promotional items are usually a wonderful method to boost the partnership with various clients. My partner and I fairly recently used them for a customer interaction day and was very happy with the results.
All the clientele seemed pleased with the branded products they received and business has since picked up. Overall I would say this is a excellent marketing process.