Trying to get over break-up… cope before and after he moves out?
My boyfriend and I broke up on Thursday. We’d been dating and living together nearly two years. Within three months of meeting, he proposed, but I knew he was making a hasty decision and said that we should get to know one another better.
Almost two years later, I am prepared for a more serious commitment, but he isn’t. I wanted to marry him, but he couldn’t say with certainty that he wanted to be in any committed relationship anymore (including our present situation), so I left him. I feel that it will only hurt me more if I wait for him to be ready to commit. I feel like I deserve a man ready for commitment.
We live in a one-bedroom apartment. It’s nearly impossible for me to get over him (or cry, or scream) when he’s in the same apartment. How can I miss him if he isn’t gone?
It’s killing me, but I’m trying to separate myself from him entirely. We’re not speaking unless necessary, but I’m terrified of coping when he finally does find his own place, leaving me in an empty house. I’m also hurting knowing that he’ll probably nail the first girl he can as soon as he’s gone.
Most of all, though, I feel like a failure for not being good enough to make him want to settle down. How could he change his mind, and be so calm about it, when just weeks ago he was crying at the prospect of losing me?
Has anyone gone through this? Can anyone help me move on? And does the "distance yourself & he’ll come to his senses" thing fail-proof? He seems completely fine about the whole thing.
Related Information:
Tagged with: amp • bedroom apartment • break • committed relationship • failure • hasty decision • Live 105 • Scream • senses • three months
Filed under: Breaking Up Tips
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
My guess is that the apparent lack of emotion is just his way of trying to cope with the situation. But if he is capable of just moving on this quickly, then that says more about the shallowness of his feelings than you, and it’s a good thing that you didn’t make a lifetime commitment to him.
As for how to deal, is it at all feasible for you to find a new roommate and move? If not, just get out as much as possible. Spend time with friends and family, do activities that’ll let you channel your feelings into something else or take your mind off the situation. And if you do need to go into whatever room he’s not in and scream every now and then? Do it, and don’t worry about him.
Well, get down on your knees and thank God you found this out now about his non commitment to you. This would have been so much worse if you had been married to him and had two little kids. What you need to do is ignore him. Stash away as much money as possible so you can move out after the lease runs out. Hopefully, that will be soon. Make sure he doesn’t go down and resign the lease with you on it either so you can’t leave. Then go. Fact is he doesn’t know what he wants. He doesn’t want to marry you but he doesn’t want to lose you. I’m sure everything would be just fine if you were willing to continue to "play house" with him without the wedding ring. Right? This same thing happened to my friend Heather. You made a big mistake moving in with him. Her boyfriend said he "didn’t want to ruin a good thing" by getting married. No. He didn’t want a commitment. Simple as that. Move on and don’t tell him you plan to leave either. He will get all dramatic and beg you to stay.