Finally pregnant and my DH has left for his ex wife – and wants the baby! Oh God is he insane?
My DH and I have tried to conceive for 7 months. We went through one miscarriage – and our relationship seemed to be stronger for what we have gone through.
I finally got my BFP on Wednesday. My DH was out of town, and I couldn’t reach him as he seemed to vanish except one text msg. I started cramping on Friday and went to the MD – they said no fetal heartbeat but a sac and to wait and see. When I finally reached my DH – he said nothing except "I am confused over my ex wife."
I went to the MD today and everything is beautiful with the baby. My hCG levels are not increasing quite as quick as they should be so that is very concerning but the baby is there – 8 weeks 3 days and has a heart rate of 171. It was amazing to hear and I burst into tears because I was there alone. I told my doctor and she is horrified as she knows we have been trying. Anyway…
Well I told him not to come home Sunday night – to go somewhere else and he did. I am with my family so I am not alone and today he tells me he is going back to his ex wife. When I told him we are having a baby and the baby is fine, he says he wants to know if I would allow he and his ex wife to have the baby live with them because she is sterile and they always wanted a baby. OMG – is he off his rocker? We aren’t children – he is 38 and I am 28. Not that it matters, but I am a clean cut, alcohol and drug free woman with a stable home, great job, etc and he leaves me when I am pregnant and thinks he is going to take MY BABY to play house with his ex wife?
To say I became hysterical, sobbing and irrate is a gross understatement. I told him over my dead body will that happen and he said he "didn’t want to miss all the firsts and time with the baby" but I am supposed to because he is a selfish SOB? I told him that is the price you pay when you leave your pregnant wife – you don’t get to have it all.
The crappy part is that I am crushed, devestated, irrate and heartbroken. I have this little miracle growing beneath my heart and I know that my DH is wrapped in the arms of his ex wife as we speak. He told me she said "She will love the baby as her own" so I shouldn’t worry about how she will feel towards the baby. I am devestated. I feel like my soul is being ripped out of my chest and my lungs cannot even breath my heart aches so much.
What do I do? I want to hate him, but I am so madly in love with him that my heart is in a million little pieces. My OB/GYN told me she cannot imagine what I am going through, but said this stress is not good for the baby. How do I do this?
I need advice…
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Tagged with: 7 months • alcohol • bfp • dh • Ex Wife • fetal heartbeat • firsts • free woman • gross understatement • having a baby • hcg levels • heart rate • Insane • irrate • job • Oh God • Omg • Pregnant • Pregnant Wife • quot • relationship • sac • text msg
Filed under: How To Get Her Back
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Lose him. It sounds like you’d be better off without him. I can’t believe he’d ask you if he could have the baby for him and his ex wife to raise!! While he’s married to you!!
Raise that baby yourself. You don’t need him.. Especially after what he’s putting you through. Don’t just walk away.. Run!!
Girl dont stress yourself over it. Men suck just in general. Its your baby and he has no right to ask such questions.
Seeing as he has left you for another women while you are preg I doubt there is any judge in this country that would allow him full custody of the baby.
You have every right in the world to hate him. Hell I would. If he wants to see all the first moments he can either come see the baby or wait for you to send photos! Next time he says something just let him know that its YOUR and his baby! NOT the ex wife and his baby. He must have left her for a reason and probably will end up regretting this.
You sound like a strong women who can handle on her own with a baby.Dont stress it thats not good for the baby! Just enjoy your pregnancy!! Wish you the best!
Your doctor is right! Stress is not good for you or the baby. I had a similar situation but not AS bad with my DH. I was 4 months pregnant with our daughter and he had the nerve to text an ex girlfriend and tell her he loved her and he even texted her to tell her when I was gone so she could call. I told him that if he wanted to be a family and have a family that crap needed to end and it did. We got over it. With your situation, honey dump his butt! File for divorce and take him for what he has got. There is NO WAY I would EVER let his ex wife be the mother of my child! Nooo freakin way. If she wanted kids so bad why is she so sterile? People like that make me mad! Leave his sorry butt! You are a strong woman!!
Oh my goodness!!
My heart goes out to you!
forget him sweetie! you’re a strong woman and you can make it through!
think of your baby and try to feel better. spend more time with your family and friends.
He’s a dumbass and he do not deserve you. you don’t want a SOB to be in your child’s life do you?
God Bless your heart and soul.
Just tell him no. Say the baby uis yours and if he didn’t want to miss all the firsts he shouldn’t have left you. He can take you to court for joint custody. However, you can fight that if you have any dirt on him. I know you love him, but he has no right to take that baby. You could always tell him that it isn’t his. BUt that would be wrong and could be proven otherwise with a simple court order. You have all the means necessary to care for YOUR baby. So there is no reason he should take it. No judge would take a baby from his/her biological mother (in your sitch at least) to give it to the dad and his mistress/ex-wife just because she is sterile. Tell him if she wants a baby so bad to file for adoption processes and stop trying to take yours.
i no its easier said than done to forget some1, ecspecially when u find out their with someone else. im 5 weeks pregnant and last week me and my man werent talking and i couldnt deal with it. i want u to stay strong and remember "this too shall pass". I promise you if you pray and believe in your prayers things will work out
Good luck hon and please take care of yourself
your never alone i promise . . .
If he wants to be a proper father then let him have weekend or some other custody under your supervision and/or playing by your rules you should most definitely keep your baby you’ve wanted this child don’t let heartbreak over a schmuck father affect your desire to be a mother and if need be file for full custody if his ex wants a baby she can adopt hire a surrogate or even become a foster mother I know you must be feeling horrible be thankful you will have this little blessing even if its without him if he will leave you at a time like this for someone it didn’t work out with before than he’s an imbecile
I’m so sorry but you don’t need a man that would do that to you. It will hurt for a long time and it will be hard, and will even get harder as your baby grows but you sound like a strong responsible lady and I no you can get through this. Noone deserves a man like that. I can’t belive he would even ask you something like that but this is your baby. Take him to court no judge would put up with that crap. Stay with your family for now you need there suport. I wish you luck and I no you love him but he isn’t worth the heartach. Devote yourself to your little one, at least one good thing will come of this.
Awe Hun I couldn’t even imagine. This is really what you need to do. Tell him you can not talk to him due to the fact that is extremely stressing you out and you dont want to lose the baby. Then with everything you have try and not to worry or think about it until your baby gets here. You need to be as strong as you can be right now for your little miracle that way nothing happens. When your baby is born I would seriously suggest getting a lawyer. I know it easier said then done but all you need to think about is that its for your baby.
Stay strong and close to your family and I wish you the best of luck!
tell him you had a miscarriage, stop texting him *hes obviously a f****n loser, and raise that baby by yourself. wait for the guy thats gonna treat you right.
I had the same thng happen to me. my ex boyfriend got me pregnant and left me 4 his ex. they got married a mnth after my sons birth and now she acts like my kid is hers. ive allowed them supervised visits til she kissed my son and mentioned her mama would just love him. it makes me mad. i want him 2 have a father but shes just in the way. i decided no alone visits and told her to butt out. i felt they used me 4 a baby. she also is sterile. so i knw ur pain