My husband has fallen out of love with me. What can I do to rekindle the romance?
We still live in the same house, we have 2 kids (5f & 8m), but he thinks that he needs some space, and that we have been holding each other back. I feel that there are a lot of things we need to work on, but I want to be able to do some small things to make him fall in love with me all over again. What are some suggestions of things I can do without being clingy, pushy, or sexual?
Related Information:
Tagged with: 8m • amp • Live 105 • love • romance
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
when a man loves a woman ,his primary goal is to make her happy.Through history,men have endured the competitive and hostile world of work because, at the end of the day,their struggles and efforts were justified by a woman’s appreciation.
make him feel hes apppreciated. if a man is not appreciated, he feels his work is meaningless;his wife’s unhappiness confirms his defeat to him ,her unhappiness signals that he is a failure.though its not a woman’s intention.
this is a fact that men speak male and women speak female.most couples are not fluent in each others language.when they talk,they experience increasing frustration instead of fulfillment. The relationship becomes another of the woman’s burdens rather than a way to find a release from them.For the man, the relationship increasingly signals his defeat rather than giving meaning to his life.Neither sex is supported in the ways that matter most because they are speaking different languages.
its because the language that we speak with our gender doesnot works the other way round.we have to learn the way to speak that does not offends the other partener but is understood the way it was intended.its like learning a foreign language.
for example;
When a man gets dressed,’a woman will say;""ï hope u r not going to wear that." He hears her say;ÿou can’t even dress yourself.
"when a man is driving a car , she says; you shouldn’t drive so fast.you could get a ticket." he hears her say;you dont know how to drive as well as me.you dont even know that you could get a speeding ticket for driving fast
.
when a man is stressed out and needs his own space she says i can see that u’r really upset.u should talk aboutyour feelings.you should really open up and get help
he hears her say;u cant deal with this on your own.u are wrong for dealing with this alone.i know better what is good for u.
.
when a woman persists in offering a man unsolicited advice,he will gradually turn off to her.
the most difficult female attitude for a man to cope with is the expectation that he should listen without being offended by what he hears.
what a woman can do is to start by saying;
"there’s something i’d like to talk about but im not sure i know how to say it.im still in the process of working it out.i certainly dont want it to sound like criticism or blame,but i would also feel really supported if u knew what i was feeling.would u take a few minutes to listen.
Just this cnsideration makes it so much easier for him to hear her and try to explore what shes saying in "’female"’rather than reacting to how it sounds in "male".
men feel attractive towards women,not because of her looks but because the way she MAKES HIM FEEL.
NEEDING SPACE(cave time)
its a common tendency in men to pull away from the relationship
to recharge it can be called cave time.
cave time for a man is solitary time when he can most effectively
recuperate from the day,forget his problems and gradually connect with his loving feelings and remember what is most important to him.Once he feels better ,he automatically comes out of his cave and is available for a relationship.
The way to tell if a man is in his cave is simply to ask.
try respecting his choices.dont get pushy with him.and everything will be alright.remember; its never too late.
good luck.
do what he likes
if he’s fallen out of love with you it’s nothing you can do just wrap it up
i toooooo have the same problem!if u have any suggestion pl….. give me pl……… pl,……….. and by the way ur questions answer is do what ur husband likes?
Well i hate to say this but if the man comes up to you and says this, hes probably done…and he has his eye on something else…or in something else….id just let him Leave and see how it goes from there…dont seem desperate and dont get mad. just let him go…and if he still trys to contact you and talk to you then he still cares. but if not ..its over..this happened to me 4 years ago and i really loved the guy but he told me this and i havent spoken to him ever since then…its better to let go then be miserable because theres someone out there that will appreciate you and want to be with you.
You need to get him to remember why he fell in love with you in the first place. So, try to bring back memories of that time and show him how much you love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him. Good Luck.
you can rekindle it with a good old open fire divorce, more like a bonfire, move on you will only make youself miserable by staying because his mind is made up
run a hot bath for him & tell him u have a suprise 4 him but he has to wear a blind fold & totaly trust you!!! take him by the hands to the bathroom kiss him softly as u undress him slowly & lead him into the bubble bath & get behin him & start to give him a nice slow massage!!!
what did you do to make him fall in love with you?…make sure he knows how you feel and dont hold anything back. if God isnt in your marriage then it will never work. you need to tell him everything. nothing need to be healed back. you need to make this work because of your two kids…let them tell there dad how they feel about the whole thing and dont put on a false front in times like this. be the person that he fell in love with. and make him do it all over again. dont give up and set you mind to make it work. i hope the best for you hunn!!!
Men sometimes get at a stage where they want there younger years back… well we all know that isn’t going to happen.
What did you do or what where you doing when you and he first met?
were you clingy, pushy, or just being your self?
Once we as women become mothers we forget our selves and become someone else, we do!
Find yourself then your husband will see you!
Find time for just you and him, You take him out on a date, call him up make a date (anything) and just do it! send him a card at work, slip a note in his pocket, a small one say something funny, or cute. try new ideas when it comes to you dressing, men like dresses, and high heels. be creative!
You are so blessed with 2 beautiful kids and marriages are not plain sailing. You may find out more of the marriage encounter weekend.
It is a workshop (live-in) and very fast paced and hectic schedule……many couple have benefitted from it; a weekend you must try!
Just tell your parents/in-laws or relatives to look after the kids. a clue…..it is at Punggol 17th avenue and they run Marriage Encounter/ Marriage Preperation Courses.
Just give him the space he wants. I would love to have my space.. but I am constantly smothered and that makes me wanna get the hedoubleL out. I am not wanting my space to do anything wrong.. I am just needing some breathing area. Maybe he needs the same thing. Since I am feeling the same thing as your husband. not sure how I can answer your question. I would guess (in my situation) if my husband would just act like he has some type of life.. go out and do some things.. let me have my breathing room, would give me a reason to enjoy him moreso when we were together. Being here with him almost 24/7 is too much. We have been married for 22 years.. and after 22 years of this daily always here.. always clingly.. always wont let me leave his side.. has turned from being sweet to being controlling and clingy. I guess I should be thankful that he is here and not out at the bars.. but really.. sometimes a lady just wants to take a **** in peace. LOL.. Good luck!!
People fall "in & out" of love during a marriage all the time. Sometimes they don’t even like each other. I’ve been there done that that, but we’re still togther.
There aren’t a lot of details in your post, but I would ask the following: Any big changes occur, has his job been impacted, has he been with someone else, etc? Is he depressed? Research depression online.
You must get proactive working on yourself. Could you be in better shape, lose a few pounds, color your hair, start treating yourself as if YOU were going to be "dating." Start a career maybe. This will impact him.
He may think the grass is greener, but it rarely is. Your relationship is not all about him. He also took vows. A real man honors them, especially with children. They didn’t ask to be here, and he has a big-time responsibility to them. They don’t care if he feels "fulfilled" or not.
I have to say Black Widow deserves best answer. She hit it. (coming from a 46,000 yr old male). AND Wooddale! Very well said!
My take–?
When men and women get married two conflicts immediately emerge.
1) Guys expect or think or assume she’s never gonna change (that is what guys want).
2) Gals immediately set out to change the man into some perfect mold they expect him to fit into. (This is resented by many guys at some point along the way)
Also-
He’s up for the family role. But he didn’t birth the babies. He will never have or know what you have and know. I’ll bet he’s pulled some major projects that border on the physical effort of child birth–kinda like sympathy pain.
But alas he grows weary as he tries to impress that hotty from high school like he always could do. But she’s pulling the same weight and says please just help me with the dishes. Don’t put that addition on the back of the house this weekend. Adventure gone, maintenance forever. Snorrrrrre…. beer……ballgames….big gut……..
Well, maybe not at your house. But that’s the way I think alot of guys come in for the midlife crash landing. The story doesn’t end like the comic books said they’re all supposed to end.
Go back, go back, go back, go way back, remember…
My very best wishes!