how do I recover from a relationship where my ex had NPD?
My therapist diagosed my ex boyfriend with narcasstic personality disorder. That explains why he could abruptly leave the relationship with no remorse. (I had began to assert myself- I am tired of doing your housework, I want to watch 1/2 of tv of what I want after 6 hours of your stuff, I want intimacy and to be respected) I know that I am better off with him out of my life but I feel betrayed hurt and like I lost myself. (He had me ignoring my life that I had before i met him)
By the way – he broke up with me in the most humilating of ways but still wants to be friends so he can do things with me. He expresses no remorse over the relationship- not even mentioning good times. he only wants to talk if I am praising him (about a lie) but never wants to address what went wrong
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Tagged with: good times • housework • humilating • intimacy • Lost • Npd • personality disorder • relationship • remorse • Stuff
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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Thank you for sharing you situation. I can relate to being humiliated. I was never romantically committed to the narcissist in my life. We briefly dated, then were "friends." But he told other people that he was my boyfriend and then told people that I was having an affair or cheating when I dated someone else. I did not find out about his lies until after several years of him trying to be my "friend." I believe that I was a threat to his "false self" when I decided not to pursue a romantic relationship with him, which compelled him to humiliated me as a means of regaining control. There is more, but what specifically relates to your situation is that his behavior toward you is not personal. Your desire to be treated respectfully (which is a good and healthy desire) may have been a threat. He is ill and it has nothing to do with you. (Although, I do not want to discount in any way the personal nature of the hurt and confusion that I can only imagine you may feel.) He will use you if he can. His inability to feel remorse may be confusing because a narcissist can fake emotions when it serves him. A few suggestions for getting back in touch with your life before you met him: You might want to try making a list of the good things about yourself, interact with emotionally healthy people, and remember that you did not deserve to be humiliated. Wish you all the best in your recovery.
My husband was diagnosed with NPD while deployed in Iraq and to top it all of he was also diagnosed with PTSD. These two disorders are lethal together. My husband (soon to be ex), has all the symptoms of NPD and it is to the point where I cannot stand to look at him, let alone live with him. I know it is a disorder, but jeez! Anyway, during the divorce currently pending atm, I didn’t answer an email he sent me about filing, i didn’t return his parents phone calls as they were calling me from europe upon finding out that their son filed. And I missed 2 of his phone calls and the man sent the cops to my house to check up on me to see if I was okay. SERIOUSLY!?!?!
I thought there was nothing worse than being married to a man with this disorder, till the behavior of that man turns into when he’s feeling ignored and rejected!