I'm pregnant w/my ex's baby, is he looking to get back together?(no lectures)?
We have been on and off for nearly 3 yrs. Off bc I’m "basically his first gf and he hasn’t met/dated many women." We both are entering our late 20′s. We have broken up twice over the 3 yrs. We both still have feelings for one another but I know he’s not ready for a relationship/marriage, and I am, or atleast he wasn’t. Lately he’s been talking like we’re a family & doesn’t want us to have 2 separate homes & shuffle baby back/forth. Or to see me with some other guy & vise/versa, and doesn’t want baby to have a step-dad or step-mom. How does that work if he doesn’t want us to be together? He was on my computerthe other day, and when I went to use it he left open his yahoo! answers account with all these questions he’d asked about getting back together with me. I swear I did not go looking for it, all of them were already on my screen! It took me a moment to even realize what I was looking at. Point is, he’s asked over and over again whether he should get back together with me, and even before I was pregnant. He asked about marriage, like can you know it’s the right one with out much experience. Lately he’s been wanting to do all these things with me, like family functions, holidays, trading xmas gifts with my parents, and special outtings. I told him recently I don’t want to get back together bc we want 2 different things, and are too different. Meaning I want to settle down and have romance. He said we weren’t too different and were on the same page and that family vacations together sounds really nice. I also said I wanted him to be something he’s not and that’s not fair. I want a guy who’s not affraid to settle down, and have a family etc. Point is since then, I’ve noticed him changing, and now doing those things I had said I wanted. All of a sudden he really cares what my dad thinks of him and wants his approval. I don’t get what’s going on, he’s acting really strange. Finally, he asked me if I wanted to take a road trip with him to this far away place and go cliff jumping…after baby is born. .he had the month and everything. Why would he ask that? What is going on??
Just for the record I want a family unit, and don’t get me wrong if he really did want to get back together I would.
(No lectures please)
fyi.. we did use protection responsibly, just it failed us 8 months ago. So please no lectures
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Tagged with: 2 different things • amp • different meaning • family functions • family vacations • feelings • gf • hasn • holidays • marriage • parents • Pregnant Baby • relationship marriage • road trip • romance • shuffle • step dad • step mom • yahoo • yahoo answers
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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I think he has given every indication that he wants to be a family with you; you just are not listening and think of the past. Give it a try, he said he wants to be family with you and child what more do you want?
You may as well give it a shot, who knows maybe it will work out…
Get some parenting books and marriage books and read them together.
Sounds to me as though he’s grown up, become more mature and realises he’s ready for committment and wants that with you.
It seems to be what you wanted from him so go for it. Give it a try and move in together.
maybe he’s growing up at the thought of you having a baby together – he sounds a lot more dedicated than a lot of fathers to be. apart from the cliff jumping after giving birth, not every post birth mothers dream…..good luck
For the 3 yrs on again off again…please tell me why you didn’t get on the pill? You can’t tell me birth control didn’t pass by in your mind?
So this tells me you subconsciously wanted to hang on to him and you thought if you got pregnant you could do this…right?
You can’t change a man.
You’ve pretty much set yourself up in this relationship so really no advice to you will help. Three years ago I would have advised you to get on the pill and PLAN the marriage and baby and trust me the stress you have now would not be there between you. It’s never a good idea to marry just because there is a baby in the picture. You marry because you love each other.
I hope it works out for you
good,. you told him exactly what you expected and now he seems to be coming around, like a great big grown up boy.
no sympathy for someone almost 30 whining they have not had enuf girlfriends. that is a lame excuse that means he does not want you. so, you backed away. good. now he is coming around.
read the steve harvey book about this, it is a bestseller, go get it today and devour it. really. hurry.
you have every right to expect him to be a real man. and for gosh darn sakes alive, no cliff jumpinng…. ever!!! never ever!!! a mother does not do that. a real man does not expect her to.
Seems 2 me he wants 2 ask U 2 marry him While Cliff diving as a twist 2 the more traditional way of proposal. My wife of 5 yrs and I had some similar issues, we got thru it so good luck
Hey there