I don't know if I want my ex back..?
Hello, thanks for taking your time to read this. I’ll try to narrow it down as much as I can..
To be brief, we’ve been dating for almost two years. He broke up with my because I wanted more space and mentioned that I wanted to go casual (I know, dumb, you can’t go from serious to casual in a day) but we both didn’t drop it and we ended up "parting ways". I KNEW he was going to come back to me, so I let it be. So my girlfriends introduced me to guys, partied, etc, and I feel like I’m finding myself again. Being single isn’t so bad. I didn’t miss him, and people were worried (how I dealt with is so quickly), but happy that I’m moving on without heartache. To be honest, I’m not that strong.. i just tried to keep myself occupied and tried not to vent it out on people. It went fine for about a week. But lately he’s been contacting me, perhaps because I’m sick. The other day he gave me medicine and offered to go eat out, but I declined. I knew that we would both get touchy-touchy and I knew at the end of the day I’d regret doing it (It would feel like I was leading him on). However, the following day he contacts me telling me to come over, watch a movie, and eat with him.. But I broke it down to him that he can’t just pretend nothing happened even though we’ve only broken up for two weeks..It was truly heartbreaking how upset he sounded, but tried not to show it. The last thing he said to me was: "I’m sorry. It was a mistake."
Long story short, I find it hard to be alone because I miss him. But when I’m out during the weekends, I don’t miss him at all (And I’m guilty of this, because we’ve been going out for so long). I find it hard to get used to not talking to someone everyday at night, or receiving text messages..
He is a great, sensitive nice guy.. That’s all I can say. He’s never ever done anything to hurt me in the past, that why I can’t get over him as quickly as I should (even though he broke up with me). He’s my first true love and we shared the best moments of our life together..
So my question is, should I get back with him even if I don’t know what I want? It’s killing me inside knowing one foot is out the door, and the other one isn’t. I’m somewhere in between.. and I can’t make up my mind. My friends don’t really have any advice for me because they’ve never been in my position before.
Thanks a bunch…
- Confused
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Tagged with: Girlfriends • heartache • Hello • medicine • mistake • momen • Moving • nice guy • Partied • parting ways • taking your time • text messages • true love • vent
Filed under: Ways To Get An Ex Back
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You’re wanting him as a time filler when you have nothing better to do. You’re missing the routine because that’s what you know. What’s the point of being with someone just because you can be? There was a reason why you broke up with him. He’s your ex and he’s part of your past now. You need to keep him where he belongs………in your past! You’re not being fair to him either.
If you go back now, you’ll never know if you went back because you love him or because you’re afraid of being alone. So try being alone for awhile. Learn what it’s like. It sounds like you’re young. You haven’t mentioned positive reasons for being with him. It’s like buying clothing. Don’t just get something because you’re bored, buy it because you love it and have to have it.
Don’t go back with him as it was before. Just stay friends and continue your fun as it is and even date others. Eventually both of you will be ready to decide what you really want. It’s just not the right time right now. Be patient with yourself and to him and just enjoy your life with what you have now.
Sometimes a relationship is all about timing. — one person is ready for a more serious relationship and the other one isn’t. The guy who is perfect for you at 25 when you’re ready to settle down may not be the one you want to date at 18 when you’d rather just have fun and keep things more casual. If this guy were right for you, you’d know it. But because you have doubts, you’re better off continuing to go out with friends and date around until you meet someone else or figure out what you want.
You need to be fair to HIS feelings, if you’re not 100% sure its bound to end up bad. You will keep second guessing your self if you go out with him, and he WILL want more. So doing that could really hurt him.
Its very normal to miss him, going from talking and being with someone for so long, then not…
it’s a big jump. You feel like something is missing, and you feel very lonely.
I personally haven’t been with someone as long as you, but i understand how you feel. You will go through a lot of different feelings. But you can’t make ANY big decisions unless you know 100% what YOU want and what is best for BOTH of you.
If you don’t want to keep ignoring him then talk to him, but if he isn’t ready, wait.
Just don’t do something stupid…like hooking up because you will feel like you DO like him, but its just in the moment kind of thing. You do still have feelings for him, but you need to remind yourself why you needed space in the first place.
But if you really still like him, its never too late. especially if he is always asking to see you.
good luck <3
You’ve broken up with him. You are dealing with the emotional loss. Please don’t muddy that up by trying to go back to him. You had your reasons for wanting to "go casual". Whatever they were I think you can trust that they were for your own growth and benefit.
Stay apart. When there is less pain involved and you are sure he has moved on too maybe you can be friends, or maybe not. It does sound like you really love him. Let it be. Don’t have a long drawn out break up. There’s too much risk of someone being hurt. Let it end like it has been.
You’ve been doing really well, by the way.
I am going through the same thing. I broke up with my ex, for no good reason, but that i wasnt happy. When i broke up the first 2 weeks went by with my feeling so much more happier..But then i started missing him so much. Thinking about what could have been..But im scared to go back to him cause i\’m afraid ill start feeling unhappy again..Just a sad feeling cause i know my exboyfriend is a gem and there was not 1 thing i hated or disliked about him..just neither here not there..just waiting it out..although one day i would wanna go back to him, i just dont know if i am being fair to him..