I don't want to hold him back from his dream..but?
My hubby just told me last night that he wants to be in the Army. We discussed this before we got married and i told him i didn’t want him to be in it. I don’t want to move and be sooo far away from my family and I’m going to always be worried about him being it’s dangerous!! He’s 20 so i don’t want to control him and know that I can’t literally stop him. But, it’s his happiness or my happiness? I know that i wont be happy if he does this. I mean, yeah going to hawaii would be fun if he so happned to get to go there. He was telling me this man he works with lived on the beach up there! It’s just that i would worry so much about him and be so far away from my family, but i don’t want to hold him back. What should I do? Tell him he has my approval even though I’m gonna be unhappy? I lose either way because I DON’T want to hold him back from his dream of being a hero. Help?
It makes me sooo sad and scared to think about him possibly going to Iraq, like you don’t even know. His friend was telling him how he got stabbed and torched up there and shot like 3 times!! I’m so scared but i dont wanna hold him back 
torchered*
know I don’t have to live with him but I don’t want to be without him for so long and i’m not being selfish!! I’m trying to save my husbands life!! I don’t want him to get killed!!
He wants to be an electrician in it, so does that mean i can see him alot?
we both agreed he wouldn’t before we got married and now he changed his mind!
Related Information:
Tagged with: army • electrician • going to hawaii • happiness • hawaii • hero • hubby • iraq • Sooo • worry
Filed under: How To Get Him Back
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
Military life is hard. It stresses the very foundation of a relationship and forces two people to really decide if they are meant to be together. It can certainly make or break a relationship. That being said, when you got married, you swore to honor and support him through any and all things. That includes supporting his dream of being in the Army.
If he wants to go into the Army, then support him. But lay the groundwork and explain how it makes you feel: your fears, etc. Be completely honest with him. In the end, he may not way to risk the unhappiness the army may cause you.
Serving his country is such an admirable thing, standing in the way of that kind of dedication isn’t fair to him. Especially when marriage means sacrificing for the greater good of your future. Military life has so many future benefits, I can’t even begin to describe all the perks. Great housing, wonderful schools for your children, health insurance that is cheap but with great coverage…the list goes on and on.
You are assuming you will be unhappy, but you really won’t know for sure until you give it a chance. Closing yourself off to an opportunity to let your relationship flourish in a new environment isn’t fair to the relationship and isn’t fair to your husband. Support him and give it a shot. But tell him how you feel and make sure he understands where you are coming from with your concerns.
You can never go wrong standing by your man…
Hope this helps!
His happiness SHOULD be your happiness. If he has a dream, you should support it. Love is not selfish.
Unfortunately, this is what happens when you get married so young. You’re just not mature enough to handle moderately difficult situations.
yu have no other way except to accept his happiness and wait for him till he comes back to yu.have some patience and trust in him and very soon yu will be the winner.
First you need to understand that you can stay where you are……more than likely unless he requests on base housing that is what will happen….you will stay there and he will be shipped places. As far as worrying about him…..things could happen to him even in your house so why would you hold him back from what he wants to do? I understand what your saying but honestly……you need to understand that he could be hurt just taking a shower at home.
I’m just going to skip over and get to the end.
When I served, I made it a point NOT to be in a relationship. I felt (even at the tender age of 18) that it simply wouldn’t be fair if I was in a relationship + I’d be gone for long periods of time….just won’t work when you are that young imo.
It turned out to be a great decision since I ended up messing around with the other single ladies in the service. There is a lot of adultery in the service also…don’t let anybody tell you any differently. I turned down many….I repeat….MANY "opportunities" with married/attached mothers in the service out of respect..plus I believe in karma.
the successful, faithful relationships in the service are few and far between…very rare.
If you don’t believe me…just do some research about it.
Support him.
It’s a different life but a good one.
Hi,
Sorry to know of how you are feeling. It is always good to be there for our husbands, but when it comes to a difficult decision like yours, it becomes difficult to give your backing as you don’t want to lose him. It is your husband wishes to join the Army and you have made it clear you don’t want him to join but now you are a married couple, the best thing you can do is to give him your support (remember your marriage vows). And keep praying that the Lord will bring him back safely.
Best of luck
http://www.sfchildrenlawspecialists.net
research it, with him. together, you go to libraries, army hospitals…no recruiters because they’re only trying to "sell" the army, but still…
hit up some museums, look into the history of it. i don’t want my husband to join the military either, but since it isn’t my choice, i can only support him in what he’d like to do, as his wife.
by making sure he’s making an informed decision, you will be showing your support. you might even learn that you could in fact handle being a military wife, OR, he could change his mind, you never know.
at least try. your husband wants to take care of you and he thinks this is the way to do it. by rejecting his idea, he’d feel like you’d be rejecting him.
good luck.
Wait a minute, you two discussed this before yo were married. Now the topic comes up again. This is called incompatibility. In this marriage one of you is going to be unhappy. This is no way to spend your life nor he to spend his. What I see is you two come to some type of compromise or you end it now before all that damage is done.
If you love your husband you should support him. This is tough on families but also, if done the right way could ensure your future and that of your family. He wants to be an electrician so maybe he won’t have to go to Iraq and if he does maybe he wont be in the middle of the fight. But no matter where he goes he will still be part of the Army and will have to defend where ever he goes. Also, stop listening to his friends. Things happen that you have no control over but if you allow your fear to control the situation you could lose. All I know is that my boyfriend is currently serving in Afghanistan. I am very proud of him and couldn’t imagine him doing anything else. His communication really stinks sometimes and when I don’t hear from him is the worst. Just be proud of you husband and support him. Also, this will also show you how strong you can be. One friend once told me that it takes a hell of a woman to marry into the military. I believe it. Good luck to you both.
If you love him dearly then you will support his decision. what ever happen you must trust him. instead of confusing your self why don’t you be happy for him. just think positive that everything will go out just fine.