How do you say goodbye to a life long friend and deal with it?
It has been 20-+ years since I have been friends with my BFF. Some of our most awkard moments in life we went through together. High School would of been embarable without her. However.. here we are 20+ years later and our friendship is dead as ever. Moving thousands of miles away did it but we kept in contact. Her marriage hitting the skids..and being a single mom we managed still.. Her new marriage of a few years and a new baby have pretty much be the causative root of her attn elsewhere. She openly admits that she is too busy to keep in touch ( please save the conclusion of me not being married or without children out of this as it is not true… no jelously here. ) Too busy to keep in touch… means… no calls on my recent wedding, no return emails, no return calls and often when a call is placed she has to go after a minute because family duty calls. ( It was never like this with her 12 year old when she was born.. ) Also the few emails I have gotten are all about the
48 minutes ago – 3 days left to answer.
Additional Details
46 minutes ago
her recent child’s birth. I am sad and I sent an email to talk to her about this… and she immediately went defensive. SO I said it was time to say official good bye…. as I felt no need to keep myself around for nothing but disapointments.
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Tagged with: additional details • attn • Awkard • bff • conclusion • email • family duty • friendship • good bye • jelously • marriage • moments in life • new baby • return emails • single mom • skids
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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I’ve had this trouble B4. Not easy. If you feel you’ve made the appropriate step then my guess is only time will mend that wound. If your not sure you did then You made a strong point of telling her how you feel. The problem seems to be that she has nothing to talk with you about or that she is torn in too many directions. It’s not the same having the 1st kid as it is the 2nd & they are years apart. The 12 yr old alone is a full time job. If your friend works then it’s more. Taking care of a baby is hard work. You put those 3 with a husband & house & she is probably ready for a meltdown in the time department. when did you last see her? My friends & I have gone months with no word then find our ways back because life can eat us up. I hope everything can work out or you can make your peace because it can be harder than burying someone. You lose a piece of yourself & a person in your life & they are alive somewhere. Good luck to you.
Maybe the best thing to do is give it some space. Don’t say goodbye completely, but with everything going on in her life, she just doesn’t have time to devote as much time as she did have to you. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t still love you. Her focus HAS to be on her new child and it needs to be on her marriage for that to work. I would say as soon as the child is a little older, things will regulate and go back to normal. I’m sure she misses you too, but she feels trapped like she can’t do much about it because she has so much pulling at her time right now, so that’s probably why she went defensive. She probably feels guilty but knows realistically she can’t change right now. Try to find other things to busy yourself with and then wait and it’ll work out. In this scenario, you can’t throw down an "all or nothing"…life doesn’t work like that if you want to remain friends.