How to recover from abusive relationship?
Ok, so I have a friend (a man) who was engaged to a woman for several years. He literally gave up everything for her and she didn’t treat him well but every time he talked about breaking up with her she made all these promises manipulation to keep him. She even talked about wanting to start a family and suggested a time when she thought they should have a kid. He always wanted to be a father and all her false promises, etc caused him to eventually fall head over heals completely in love with her. He planned his entire life around getting ready to start a family with her and supported her 100% even though he got little or nothing in return because she promised things would change once she finished school. Anyway once she was done with the hard part of school she bailed on him, dumping him with literally nothing, no explanation, etc and wouldn’t even talk to him. She did talk to him a couple times just to let him know she was with other men. He also heard some rumors that she had been cheating on him and knowingly using him the whole time. Anyway he’s devastated, it’s been months and he’s just not the same person. I don’t know if he ever will be again because she hurt him so badly. He can’t even dance, laugh or smile anymore. I think to him it feels like he lost a whole family he had already been preparing for the child they were going to have. He was really convinced they were going to have a child soon. Does anyone have any ideas on what he should do? I’m going to tell him to read this later so he’ll see your advice.
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Tagged with: abusive relationship • couple times • false promises • head over heals • laugh • love • manipulation • smile • whole time
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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That stinks…but life goes on! His best move is to just continue dating. Not talking about her to other women will help him find a healthy relationship sooner. He needs to talk with a counselor about his issues and not his new perspectives. If he continues to dwell too long and complain about all the wrongs he has been dealt by his former…he will not enjoy his future. The best way to get a even score is to just live a good and happy life without her. If she calls, hang up the phone, block her email and return to sender any cards or letters. Get rid of pictures, gifts and any other memorabilia of her in his life. Don’t sit around and listen to old love songs that remind him of her and if it plays on the radio–change the station. Just a few helpful hints!
In short would give him just one word of advice "NEXT"
wow, let the guy alone. If some guy told me all of that and expected me to solve his problems, I’d give him the wild eye. Way too much information for a real guy to tell.
Get him to push through this and get out there for another,that’s it.
ya. tell him to read this. YOU ARE A GDAM RETARDED P*SSY!!! gullible guys like you make girls think they can try that kinda sh*t on the rest of us. of course it never works because we aren’t GDAM P*SSIES.
I wouldn’t be showing your devastated friend the advice of a bunch of unqualified yahoos.
He will heal with time. I think a better effort on your part would be to suggest he talk to a relationships counselor. Someone qualified to discuss this sort of problem, refer him to resources and help him gain some perspective.
Sounds to me like he’s better off without her and is lucky to get out now before they had kids.
That stupid gold digger. Was probably using him to support her while she was going through school. So many women are scum, anyways man just gotta hold your head up high; I can only imagine how it feels but you weren’t in love, she manipulated you to think you loved her although she didn’t have a mutual feeling. Therefore, how could there have been love if she didn’t feel the same way. I know it hurts, but she used you that dumb bitch. But you gotta move on and find another woman if you want one. Being down all the time won’t help out with that at all.
I just got out of an abusive relationship. It’s the second time I’ve been in one. What she did, was wrong and hurtful.
Get him out of the house and do something he used to enjoy, go see a game, party with some old friends, have a reunion, ANYTHING!
He should probably take some time to himself meaning no relationships. This way he could learn a little bit more about himself and strengthen himself so that next time he is in a relationship he won’t get her like she hurt him. That doesn’t mean you should hurt the woman before she hurts you. It just simply means that you need to keep your guard up longer than you did before. My best friend recently got out of an abusive relationship and that’s what she’s doing. It seems to be working really well for her so I hope it works for you. Good Luck.
Although time usually does the trick, some therapy may also be advisable. From what you are describing, your friend probably has some serious dependency issues and that is the area he ought to concentrate on, not the one failed relationship.
wow! That’s sad =[, i think that he needs to get out there and mingle. once he does so he’s gonna start being happier. even seen shows like that!?!
yea, he’s not going to get over it until he realizes that he lost a dream and that dream wasnt her. She is a manipulative b**ch but in the same sense he is responsible for allowing that to happen. He didnt fall in love with her he fell in love with a dream of a lifestyle that he feels he no longer has, when he realizes the difference he will get over her, but maybe not that dream, and depending on how old he is that will make a huge difference, at some point you feel your too old to think its possible, he will heal in his own time and about all you can do is keep him company so he doesnt get so depressed that he does something stupid. Good luck
Hello, Humm. Sounds Very Much The Same As Me ! She Was !7yrs And I Was !9yrs Old. We Move In To Gether Very soon And were Lived Together For A 11yrs.Are Son Is 17yrs Old Now And I`m 42yrs Old Now Fig. It Out But It All Most Killed Me. I Watched As My/Are Worl Fell. It Suck`s Way Bad It Tolk Me Aleast 5years To Move On But i`m Still Single. And Just Now Starting To Look For A LTR Only ! In Time Maybe Lots But It Will Pass. Sorry Man And Good Luck Guy.Move On with Out Her Man the best Of luck