How much control from your wife/girlfriend is too much ?
a – checking your emails ?
b – decide what events to go to and which not to ?
c – telling flirty women to back off ?
d – making a huge public statement about your union with her ?
e – checking your text messages ?
And also, in addition to the above, if your girlfriend doesn’t get along with your ex with whom you have a child and get along well with is it really bad ?
If your mom doesn’t really like her either, how bad is that ? (in addition to all the rest)
Lets say she is the greatest girl you ever "scored", could you sustain a long term relationship with her even with all this going on ?
What ? I’m seirous !!!
What if it doesn’t really feel like control, it’s just "not a big deal"
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Tagged with: control • flirty • girlfriend • long term relationship • mom • Term Relationship • text messages
Filed under: How To Get Her Back
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a-if you are in a committed relationship and have nothing to hide, this shouldn’t be a big deal (this goes both ways)
b-that should be a mutual decision…. agreeing on what to do and where to go
c-you should be telling flirty women to back off without her opening her mouth… if you don’t then you might want to reconsider the relationship
d-this all depends on where you are in the realtionship… however, you should do this without her having to ask for it
e-I refence my answer in a…. goes both ways and if you have nothing to hide, then shouldn’t be a problem.
That’s probably pretty much the norm…. if she got along great with the ex it would probably be questionable…. lol
Your mom is probably never going to be crazy about anyone you’re with…..
That’s a question you will have to ask yourself… is she worth it?
f- all of the above.
I would not be in a serious relationship with anyone who did not trust me.
"greatest girl you ever "scored"? if all you have going for you is great sex and looks, move on.
You need to focus on your child, and you need someone who will let you fulfill your first and for-most duty as a parent. Don’t selfishly toss your child aside.
And sounds like there are serious trust issues…..
Sound like more trouble then it should ever be worth.
a) Unless you share an account, I don’t see why you would need to do that
b) Should be a joint decision
c) If they are completely out of line, then yes. But the husband/boyfriend should be doing that themselves.
d) If you mean marriage, then yes, that’s ok. Otherwise, a bit weird.
e) If you’re just having a casual look ’cause you’re bored or whatever, I guess that’s ok.. But not if you’re snooping for something.
Not many current and ex girlfriend/wives get along. Just try to be civil for the child’s sake.
You’re not married to your mum, so what she thinks shouldn’t really have that much of an impact on your marriage.
If you’re controlling and don’t trust him, I don’t think it matters how much you love him, jealousies and insecurities kill relationships.
Only your partner can answer that question for you.
Checking a significant other’s email means you don’t trust them = bad sign. Deciding what events to go to: you should both decide. One doesn’t decide or the other. Telling flirty women to back off? That seems a bit far. Huge public statement? Sounds odd, Checking text messages: very controlling. It’s pretty bad when your mom doesn’t like the woman you’re dating. That really says something. Your mom knows you better than anyone else. It’s great you are asking these questions, so you can (a) go to couple’s counseling or (b) just break it off. If it doesn’t feel like control, you are passive aggressive, because this seems like a very controlling relationship.
You don’t get into a relationship to have "control". A relationship is to be equal.
A. If you checked my emails, I would leave you
B. Who are you to decide where and what I attend, why isn’t this done together?
C. Its ok as long as she isn’t being disrespectful. Everyone flirts, you need to make sure if in fact she is being serious or just fooling around.
D. A public statement? Your kidding right? How old are you?
E. If you checked my text messages, I would leave you. Have you ever heard of the right to privacy?
Girlfriend not getting along with ex, You don’t have to like her, but your boyfriends child should come first in his life not you! You need to remember that! You don’t have to like her but you should if you love this guy, be civil to her.
Mom, Mom’s can be hard. I wouldn’t let my mother tell me yes or no about dating a man, but I do value her opinion and she is the only on he has. Learn to live with her and play nice.
…lol…Truth hurts!
All of the points you listed are way over the line. That is a major sign of insecurity on your part if you feel you need to do this to feel comfortable in your relationship. If any guy lets you do this eventually he will get tired of it an leave.
If you don’t get along with the mother of his child it will only be bad for you and the child. You should do your best to accept the situation as it is and make things easy for the child. Be the adult.
If the mother doesn’t like you either then you have even bigger issues. If my parents didn’t like any of my boyfriends eventually I broke up with them. Eventually I saw what they saw in the beginning.
The only question you need to ask yourself is… Do you love her? If you do, then it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, they don’t have to live with her or be with her.
As for her checking your messages and emails, she may have insecurity issues and may have had bad experiences in the past that make her have these issues.
There is nothing worse than being burnt twice, therefore she may be only protecting herself from being hurt again. Who knows?
Maybe talk to her about these issues, and if she has been burnt before, then if you love her, then you need to understand her.
a- nothing to hide so go ahead and check. b-respect your opinion but will have input also. c-shows that you care. d-see answer c. e-see answer a. first question- no. second- not at all. third-yes, no problem.
Ahem!
Some people like to be controlled. Some do not. If you are the guy and are having any problems with this; find someone who does not do that. The control will greatly increase as the relationship progresses. If you are the lady, and are wondering about a bf who is objecting; move on. You clearly need someone who likes to be controlled. This guy will not be able to tolerate you long term. You will destroy whatever love he feels for you now. Find someone who likes you the way you are. Meanwhile, I suggest advertising yourself as a dominatrix on http://www.alt.com
I would truly say this person is taking way too much control away from you & your life. If things are like this now, I honestly think once you’re married, she’ll take complete control over your life. She’s already done a great job of doing it up to this point already! From reading all that, what privacy or what kind of a life can you now say you have that’s ours alone..I’d say not much at all. This is truly one controlling person who once you tie the knot, w/not only take control over you, but completely attempt to run your whole life for you. This is not what I’d call true trusting love, instead it’s almost like what more can I take from this man & mold him into the person I want him to be. Yes, it is not a good thing to have confrontations w/your ex w/her on that issue too. You DO have a child who had gone thru loosing you already. I’m just afraid she’ll make your life a living hell on that whole scenario. She dislikes your ex, but she can’t even realize that has nothing w/your relationship w/your child, Therefore your child w/be forced to take the brunt of that whole issue. She doesn’t have the respect or regard for you & him whatsoever in that issue. Lots of mother in laws don’t see eye to eye on their son’s choice of a mate, but in this case I believe she has ever rite not to like this person, & her feelings are sure justified fully for thinking the way shhe does. In all honesty, I believe at some point in time, you’re going to want you life back. It’s hard to believe you’ve been able to over look all that she’s doing to you in completely controlling/running your life for you. guarenteed you’re going to wake up & rrealize you have lost your identity & someone has replaced it to their complete liking. You’ll end up asking yourself "who am I". You’ll be nothing but a puppet on a string w/someone else pushing all he butttons & pulling all the strings. At the time you might think she’s the greatest thing you’ve ever scored, but there’s going to come a time when you realize you are no longer "winning the game", & the scores are going to begin to fade into nothing but losses. You w/then find yourself the person w/the missing indentity! You really want to find out what kind of a person she is? Then start taking away EVERY bit of control she now has over you..I mean every bit. Strip her of all the control she has of you, including that of your prefrences of what you want to do in your child’s life. Really put it to a good test. I think you’re going to find you honestly didn’t score that well, & find you’ve actually lost he game so to speak. Before you get involved any deeper w/this person, do a personal challenge w/all her obsticles she’s taken away from you. Then you’re truly going to find out for good just what kind of a person she does end up being. I’d give this some serious consideration before you get any deeper involved w/her. You’ve got far too many red flags waving in your face not to take them into consideration. I certainly DO wish you all the best…:)
Wow, I’m not a guy but pretty much all of that sounds extremely scary.
Control is destructive to a relationship. The ex partners child will always be a part of his/her fathers life and it’s important the communication lines are kept open with the ex for the childs sake. The child needs to spend regular one on one time with his/her Dad – and it’s very evil to try and destroy that relationship. When you go into a relationship with a child from a past relationship, you have to accept that child will be part of the new relationship and love this child like your own. Otherwise move on and find someone who doesn’t have a child in their life.