Comments on: Is this a good start for a story? http://howdoigetmyexboyfriendback.org/5803/is-this-a-good-start-for-a-story/ Sat, 11 Feb 2012 14:09:15 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: aquastar http://howdoigetmyexboyfriendback.org/5803/is-this-a-good-start-for-a-story/comment-page-1/#comment-39868 aquastar Sun, 28 Feb 2010 21:09:37 +0000 http://howdoigetmyexboyfriendback.org/5803/is-this-a-good-start-for-a-story/#comment-39868 Wonderful!! This story had the makings of the beginning of a new fantasy series. It has adventure, turmoil, and a hint of romance (Jamane). You have a very nice writing style that makes the reader want to know more about Will. Your story has good, smooth flow and very informal, thoughtful language. You might want to get more in touch with Will's feelings, though. For example, when Jamane casts a longing look in Will's direction when he is wrapping her fish, you could say that he felt a bit confused or embarrassed. During the part when Will vents his feelings about Morganarth, you could say he was imagining doing some rather mean things to him ("Will could almost picture himself sinking his fist into Morganarth's sneering, arrogant face." or you could say" "Will imagined himself unleashing his magical powers while Morganarth grew red-faced with jealousy.) I think that getting the readers more connected with Will would make the readers feel much closer to him and would make them more willing (pun intended) to follow him on his journey. You did an awesome job and I wish you luck on your story. (I hope your story turns into a book or a series!!! It's sure to be a bestseller!) Wonderful!! This story had the makings of the beginning of a new fantasy series. It has adventure, turmoil, and a hint of romance (Jamane). You have a very nice writing style that makes the reader want to know more about Will. Your story has good, smooth flow and very informal, thoughtful language. You might want to get more in touch with Will’s feelings, though. For example, when Jamane casts a longing look in Will’s direction when he is wrapping her fish, you could say that he felt a bit confused or embarrassed. During the part when Will vents his feelings about Morganarth, you could say he was imagining doing some rather mean things to him ("Will could almost picture himself sinking his fist into Morganarth’s sneering, arrogant face." or you could say" "Will imagined himself unleashing his magical powers while Morganarth grew red-faced with jealousy.) I think that getting the readers more connected with Will would make the readers feel much closer to him and would make them more willing (pun intended) to follow him on his journey. You did an awesome job and I wish you luck on your story. (I hope your story turns into a book or a series!!! It’s sure to be a bestseller!)

]]> By: Jade Arcoutte http://howdoigetmyexboyfriendback.org/5803/is-this-a-good-start-for-a-story/comment-page-1/#comment-39869 Jade Arcoutte Sun, 28 Feb 2010 21:09:37 +0000 http://howdoigetmyexboyfriendback.org/5803/is-this-a-good-start-for-a-story/#comment-39869 Didn't read it all, but what I did read was pretty good. =) Didn’t read it all, but what I did read was pretty good. =)

]]> By: Kendall P http://howdoigetmyexboyfriendback.org/5803/is-this-a-good-start-for-a-story/comment-page-1/#comment-39870 Kendall P Sun, 28 Feb 2010 21:09:37 +0000 http://howdoigetmyexboyfriendback.org/5803/is-this-a-good-start-for-a-story/#comment-39870 i liked it and for fourteen you are pretty good, i started writing at ten but i can't seem to manage finishing a story, writers block is a totall beeyotch. hope you keep working on it. i liked it and for fourteen you are pretty good, i started writing at ten but i can’t seem to manage finishing a story, writers block is a totall beeyotch. hope you keep working on it.

]]> By: popcornjewel13 http://howdoigetmyexboyfriendback.org/5803/is-this-a-good-start-for-a-story/comment-page-1/#comment-39871 popcornjewel13 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 21:09:37 +0000 http://howdoigetmyexboyfriendback.org/5803/is-this-a-good-start-for-a-story/#comment-39871 ok dude that was really good.......and im 14 as well and im writting a story or book you may call it......... ok dude that was really good…….and im 14 as well and im writting a story or book you may call it………

]]> By: Selentic http://howdoigetmyexboyfriendback.org/5803/is-this-a-good-start-for-a-story/comment-page-1/#comment-39872 Selentic Sun, 28 Feb 2010 21:09:37 +0000 http://howdoigetmyexboyfriendback.org/5803/is-this-a-good-start-for-a-story/#comment-39872 For 14, good. For something anybody would ever want to read ever, not so much. Those are kind words, coming from me, so chillax. You've got more potential than 99% of the Twilight-snorting idiots on these boards. As you develop your writing from now on, don't worry so much about plot and character development. Anybody can do that. Instead focus on your writing style, diction, syntax, and flow. Make your writing interesting, not just what you're writing about. Read a lot, of course, and in a big range. No more 'teen' books for you, ever. Read Hemingway, Poe, Pynchon, and Vonnegut. For 14, good. For something anybody would ever want to read ever, not so much.

Those are kind words, coming from me, so chillax. You’ve got more potential than 99% of the Twilight-snorting idiots on these boards. As you develop your writing from now on, don’t worry so much about plot and character development. Anybody can do that. Instead focus on your writing style, diction, syntax, and flow. Make your writing interesting, not just what you’re writing about. Read a lot, of course, and in a big range. No more ‘teen’ books for you, ever. Read Hemingway, Poe, Pynchon, and Vonnegut.

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