Would you leave or try to save your marriage?
My husband lost his second job in 6 months. I am currently 7 months pregnant. We have 3 other kids. All he will do is sleep. My dad offered him a small job and he went to bed. A friend offered him a small job and he went to bed. Right now he is sleeping of the couch while our kids are fighting. He won’t help me at all. I am so sick of this. I get so mad that last night I locked him out of our room. He tried to call me at 4:00 in the morning to let him in. Would you try to work it out or call it quits?
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Tagged with: 7 months • couch • dad • Lost • marriage • second job • sleep
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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he sounds depressed. a sign of depression is sleeping all the time. the fact that he’s lost his job several times in the last year maybe the cause, or it may be something else that resulted in him losing the jobs.
get him some help. he probably feels worthless right now, and needs some support. i can only imagine how much worse it would be if you divorced him for getting depressed.
suggest that he sees a therapist. tell him that you’re concerned about him right now. tell him that you love him, and want to see him happy again.
work it out and crank up the tv in the living room to wake his ass up!
Either he is a good for nothing lazy bum or he’s severely depressed. If he’s normally a pretty stand up guy, then take him to a doctor for a checkup as he may either have a physical or mental problem that needs treatment. Antidepressants may be just what he needs to get out of bed and back on somebody’s payroll. If he’s a bum, you don’t need the extra mouth to feed, kick him to the curb.
Sleeping a lot suggests depression, being overwhelmed, and avoidance. He could easily be feeling like this, having lost a few jobs and having four kids to support. It would knock most of us down. But even if it’s understandable, you guys can’t go long term like this. Have a heart to heart about your concerns, and suggest a visit to a medical doctor who can prescribe meds or a counselor who can help him through this. or, both. Explain that you need him, even if he’s not at work. Tell him he can still help the family. Be supportive.
And, if he can’t motivate to get the help he needs, you may have to give him an ultimatum-get help, or get out.
Tell him that if he doesn’t have a job by such and such day, that you are going to leave. Tell him that he needs to help out around the house and that he needs to keep a schedule like everyone else in the house. I mean, come on, he’s an adult he should know all of this already.
He’s probably depressed because of his current situation and instead of trying to figure out a solution to the problem, it’s easier for him to just forget about the problems and sleep his time away. Encourage him to look for a job, or help him find some jobs or something. If he isn’t open to your suggestions then just tell him he’s got to do it on his own by a certain day or else your outta there.
Leaving is easiest. And you’ll probably be happier.
if your seriously planning to leave cos he sleeps too much u have issues. u should have thought twice before marrying
Tell him if you are going to have to handle all the problems in the family and he isn’t willing to help then he shouldn’t be there to lay on his back and leave it all to you. Let him know that you are not going to continue to live this way, and you are giving him fair warning, to put up of get out. Do not argue about it, state it in no uncertain words so he gets the picture. If you yell and scream then he will just tell everyone you are hormonal when it is really just being fed up.
i think hannah probably gave the best advice here. if you really love him, you wouldn’t be ready to give up so fast. of course none of us here know what exactly your situation is, but definitley give it a chance. help him to help himself and then he will be of more help to you and your kids. let him know you still love him and that this is just a funk y’all are in. love can do a lot for a mans ego, maybe he just needs a boost. be his cheerleader. even though i know your probably like F that, Im the one who’s 7 months pregnant and dealing with 3 other kids- this is life honey, it’s never perfect, but i think marriages are always worth at least trying to save. if it does work out, you both will be so happy after all this is said and done! good luck sweetie!
i would plead with him for the childrens sake to get a job and be a dad .
the children need their mom and dad together,
he needs a wake up call and you should try and get him to face his responsibility.
where in the hell would you go with 3 kids and 1 on the way.
Better to figure out a way to save your family…
save your marriage. he is probably depressed about something. talk to him about it
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I would give him a final ultimatum: seek help for his procrastinating/depressed life NOW and pick up his responsibilities or LEAVE.
Give him a clear time line. It’s not too much to ask for him to accept one of those jobs now and meanwhile work on his issues. I’m sorry for you, hope he wakes up (literally).
He sounds depressed. When someone sleeps alot its often a sign of depression. I would definetly try work something out b/c you have kids together but if he continues to be like this for a while then i would probably do something about it eventually. I personally could not deal wit someone like this after a while. I would get tired myself. If i could manage on my own with my kids, i would probably get out of the relationship after a while if things didnt get better. I would give him a chance at least a year and let him know what you plan on doing. If he doesnt change after a year or doesnt want any help, i would move on. But if he is trying or gets diagosed with clinical depression i would probably try to work things out.
Its a lot of things you are asking about. Sometimes leaving a relatinship can also be hard financially if you guys owe alot of money. You will have to pay for half of it too. But if you are better off on your own financially with the kids then i would do this down the road. I truly think he is depressed and just cant deal with anythign right now and sleeping is a way out.
he needs to see a medical doctor. it could be diabetes, thyroid problems, parathyroid, depression.
when my exhusband did this sleeping thing he was sick with undiagnosed cancer, which was not discovered for another couple of years. get to a doctor.