long distance relationship… is done )= ? how recover it back?
After almost tree years relationship ( including a year and four months of being engaged) my fiance has decided to take a break, bc hes been stressfull lately. I, gave him the time he wanted. i havent call him or write him, bc i understand he wants to think things, as he told me he wanted to do this. all his family are very united with me; his brother told me hes not like wanting to date girls or do crazy things overthere, he just shut down himself.
I was very confused at the beginning (its been a week it happened) bc i dont even live around him like for him to feel stress. I do believe he loves me alot and dont want to hurt me at all. i cant deny i had cried about this. I gotta say too i had let it gone the fact of being myself as i was when he used to come to visit me the very first times. now i am working into myself for when we get back he would be more than in love with me and we will gonna be ready for marriage (as long as i havent finish college, i asked him to wait till
i get my degree and i could move to the USA with him.
what should i do?
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Tagged with: brother • crazy things • date girls • fiance • four months • long distance relationship • love • marriage • ready for marriage • relationship • stress • year and four months
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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I went through the same thing four years ago. I got into a long distance relationship at the age of 15 and it lasted for three years (we got engaged at 16) and eventually he broke up with me because of the strain the long distance was putting on our relationship and the fact that we were so young to be having all that stress on us. We had no jobs and no means of transport, and it always caused alot of arguments when we couldn’t see eachother. It was his decision to end it, and I was devestated. I was willing to keep on going, but it was too much for him. Four weeks after this happened, he called and told me he still wanted me, but that he wanted to take things slowly and not be engaged anymore. But during those four weeks I had already rebounded with someone else and started dating someone else. I didn’t expect him to call me, but I didn’t wanna start things slowly with him like we were back at step one, and I didn’t wanna get dumped by him again, so my mum spoke to him on my behalf and explained that to him and he understood.
Four years later and we were talking online one night and catching up in general, and we spoke all night, and as he was now driving and had his own car, on impulse he came to see me and then after spending a day with him, I decided to go back to his home with him and stay with him for a bit. We have now been back together since late March and we see eachother a pretty decent amount for long distance. Now the transport and finance issues aren’t such a problem anymore and we know what things ruined our first relationship.
He told me that he still loved me during those four years we were apart, but that even though he still wanted me back, he couldn’t have anyway cause I was in a serious relationship with someone else, and the transport and finance issues were still there up until recently. And I only got out of my last serious relationship earlier in the year, so that’s why we only got back together 2 months ago.
I don’t mean to play devil’s advocate, but you need to prepare for the worst. It’s easier not to have any expectations, and that way you’ll be pleasantly surprised if/when good news comes your way, but if it’s bad news then you will already have started to prepare yourself. I know you feel like you need to hang onto some hope, I felt that way on many occassions, but you arte setting yourself up for heartbreak that way.
You have been with this guy for so long, and I’m sure that after 3 years he’s not just gonna push you aside. It’s not possible to lose feelings for someone just like that. I’m quite sure that he will come around. Use my story for inspiration if it helps, and good luck to you hun!
Email me if you need to.
Wait but it sounds to me that he is talking to some one else…. in which he is probally having sex with… something he miss from you and not getting so if he loves you he will be back in touch after 6 weeks..
Doll, this word ‘stress’ is so unsettling. We all deal with stress, it is called life. Being that you are so far apart. Do you think it’s possible he is feeling pressure from family members? Or peers? Three years is a very long time to have such a distant relationship. On letting yourself go. Never let yourself go. Keep yourself up for you, not for a guy! You are the most important thing in your life. We love others, but we must love ourselves first. Give him all the time he wants, you focus on school and staying healthy. Men can be distant even when they are in the same room with you, so don’t worry. It will all happen as it should. Good luck.