How do I deal with my wife who is cheating on me?
My wife of 4 years, 1 child together, both about 30, has been having an affair…At least twice per month, my wife has says she is going to happy hour with co-workers. However, today, I found on her Face book account that she isn’t going with co-workers, but just ONE male co-worker. Sometimes she will come home at 4AM, other times she calls and says she’s staying with her female co-worker since they’ve all been drinking too much.
If I divorce my wife, my wife will most likely get most of the custody of our child- adultery is not grounds for divorce.
To be honest, I’d rather forgive and act like I don’t even know about it in order to save my marriage. Basically, in her email box, they sneak around. He’s married with 2 children and has made it clear that he isn’t leaving his wife. My wife sent one email back, very flirtatiously written, saying she doesn’t want him, just his sex, and he KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING (typed something like that in caps.
I looked up the divorce laws in my state in the midwest and adultery is not grounds for CHILD CUSTODY- it is for divorce, however.
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Tagged with: adultery • book account • caps • Cheating Wife • child custody • co worker • co workers • divorce • divorce laws • email • face book • grounds for divorce • happy hour • having an affair • marriage • midwest • Wife Cheating
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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I don’t know what state you live in that doesn’t acknowledge adultery as grounds?? I know for a fact if you make copies of these talks, you can submit these copies to the judge through your lawyer and it will hold up in court.
If you get the child you can request child support from her. You will need that money to pay for child care center while you work during the day. You can do this.
Now if you go the opposite way…..My suggestion is this: You make copies still and get her alone sit her butt down and show her the copies of the talks. Take no crap off her. Tell her you have grounds for divorce and she will not win. Be very firm. But….But you will let this go and you and her will get counseling together and she must not contact this crumb again. She has no future > ne isn’t going to leave his wife! Has she ever seen Harry Met Sally??
She must go with you or divorce is eminent > period.
No wishy-washy here. You have a child to consider here. Counseling will help you over come. Many couples do overcome but the key here is BOTH of you must be simpatico.
I wish you the very best in this. Good luck.
First of all realize it may just be sex with the 2 of them. Women go through times in their lives where they may need a ego boost and one man may not be able to do the job. Try to spice up your sex life and show you’re better and eventually she can understand you are her true love. After all she married you.
Call the wife of the co worker your wife is doing tell her about it file for divorce on the grounds of infidelity you will prob get custody of your children.
confront her, ask why she is doing it and what has made her chose that path. If she is willing to stop and admit what she is doing is wrong then there is no reason for a divorce. People make mistakes, but you cant be foolish and have your children grow up watching her/his parents in a unloving marriage. When you confront her, ask her how she would feel is the situation was the other way around. I hope it all works out for you.
Adultery certainly IS grounds for divorce. And most Judges look down upon cheaters. Believe it – i used to work for a law firm. You have hard evidence, as well. Print it out.
Acting like you don’t know about the affair? What is wrong with you? You aren’t a doormat, are you?
There is a difference between facing your issues and trying to work things out, and hiding in a corner.
If my spouse were cheating on me, i’d ask them what they wanted – the affair or the marriage. I have a good sense of self-esteem and i refuse to be married to someone who sneaks around and who disrespects me and our marriage.
You guys need counseling if you are going to stay together, yes infidelity is grounds for divorce.
I would confront her and if not your will file for divorce u want her passcodes,counseling,A wife like this is out of control and trust me one day you will be left she will meet a single guy fall and love and be gone something is missing for her to be cheating and she willl contuine to have many,many affairs you won’t be able to handle this forever you don’t want aids.Tell her you have some nice looking co-workers that are single with no kids that flirt with you but you dont go out,stay out mess around tell her maybe u should just leave then she couldn’t go out all the time just every other weekend her built in baby sister will be gone and she will be forced to come home and care for your child and u can hang out with the single girls and party all night with them she what she says she will think…. tell her u want the passwords,check the phone records have a female friend call the wife anynomous
Well, the first thing I suggest is that you give the following items some thought.
1. Have you given her things that she could easily use to justify cheating on you, such as cheating or not giving her sex or so forth? Now, not that it would make it right, but it certainly would lesson your ability to claim victim or cheated on status.
2. Decide what it is that you really do want in the future. Be honest about this with yourself. Do you want to actually have your marriage work out? Do you simply want to have her gone? You need to be able to answer these questions in order to decide on a course of action in my view.
Now, I also suggest that you make some prior arrangements for the next time she is to be out, such as have someone set up to take care of the kids. Take the following day off if necessary. Maybe bring in a friend or so forth who she does not know, in order to tail her. Basically, gather all of the evidence you can on her and anyone else involved. A picture of them kissing or of them leaving together as well as entering a house or motel together would be very helpful to you. Hiring a good P.I. would be a thought, yet you can do most of the stuff if you use your head and keep your wits about you. If the cell phone is in your name, you can track usage as well as the calls she makes.
Adultery is certainly grounds for divorce in most places and if you can show that you are a good person and you can prove she was a cheat, you may have custody of your child and even get child support. I would suggest that you educate yourself now as well as start doing what you can to protect yourself, such as keep an eye on the bank accounts, keep records of her actions, words and so forth. Good luck to you dude.