I want my boyfriend to move out of the my house but not break up with him. Is this possible?
I own my home. My boyfriend and I have lived together for about 6 years. I don’t want to break up with him. I just don’t want my house trashed (he’s a slob) and my TV stuck on football from August to February (he’s an Eagles fan). He pays his share of household expenses and a "rent" and even keeps most of his stuff in a separate bedroom. But he did not contribute when I had to have the roof replaced and won’t have the money to fix up the bathroom he’s ruined. I love him and don’t want to end the relationship (there are benefits certainly!) but this just can’t go on. In fact, if I ever wanted to sell the house I would have to make him vacate with all his things anyway or at least put much of it into a storage room. How can I tell him that I need my house back for me, since it is after all mine!
Oh and marriage is not in the picture here. We don’t ever plan to get married for a variety of reason. So can I extract him from my home without completely wrecking the relationship?
Related Information:
Tagged with: 6 years • break • eagles fan • household expenses • love • marriage • money • relationship • slob • storage room
Filed under: Breaking Up Tips
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
If I was your live-in boyfriend for 6 years and you asked me to move out, I think that would end the relationship. You can either put up with his faults or not. I think this is a case where you are between a rock and a hard place. Best of luck.
sit down and talk to him about all of it, and really explain everything. but dont get mad if he doesnt understand and gets angry with you. just really explain……thats all that will help and then you will have to see how it goes from there.
tell him you need your space back, you love him, but the living situation is going to tear you apart. say you are trying to save the relationship, and in order to do this, he must get his own place. be honest, there is nothing wrong with what you said, and some people are not meant to live together, and actually have a better relationship not living together.
wow this is tough!!!!!! if he really luvs ya he’ll understand that you jus wanna live on ur own for rite now… then lata on in da year or watever… hav him move bac in… it seems that u guys r really in love so he will do anythin u need him 2 do and understand with a whole heart!!!
tell him to shape up and stop being a slob
he should get a decent job if he wants to live in your house
That will be delicate, to say the least. If you can pull it off, there is surely a job waiting for you in the Department of State.
It sounds like the only benefit to you may be sexual. If that’s the case, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and some of them might be better housekeepers.
Take it from me, don’t ask him to move out I did that with my fiance. Within one month, he finished with me. This was five months ago and I am still devastated about it and trying to win him back…which I doubt will happen and one day I will come out of denial
@ Woman.. So she should live miserably in a house with a boyfriend who is more of a roommate anyways?
If he loves you, he will listen to what you have to say. Address the issue with him first before making any rational decisions. You’re always going to have differences in relationships, but don’t settle for being unhappy simply because you are comfortable having him around. I understand you may love him, but sometimes love isn’t enough. He has to be willing to contribute and participate in the upkeep of the house, as well as the relationship. The longer you live together unhappy, the more you will grow to resent each other. He may be upset and angry at first mention of this idea but if he truly has compassion and cares about your feelings he will be able to talk to you about it. He might even begin to change in fear of being kicked out and maybe that’s what he needs. Good luck
I am going through the exact same thing, except my partner of 5 years (living together 4 years) have a three year old son. I have talked to him about what he needs to do. Stop expecting me to do it! His priorities are playing Xbox360, playing comp, and fixing up his project bike. doesn’t do much with our son when i’m at work other than play all his own games and let our son play in his room or watch tv, no interaction or play.
I had been living on my own for about a year before he moved in and he had moved in from his parnets. so in a way i think i took over for his mum. this was ok until recently as he was the one in full time employment and i was only part time job and part time mum to our son. recently however Have started a college course and plan to go to Uni in oct. I’m working practically full time hours as a relief support worker and he still expects me to do everything. I suffer from depression sometimes and this doesn’t help when he isn’t picking up the slack when i have down days. It’s getting me down even more!! Anyway, I came to the decision that I would rather him be out the house and I’d HAVE to do things on my own rather than him sitting there and me resenting him for not helping me when he should be. I don’t want to end up resenting him and that tearing us apart. I’d rather stay together and live apart than live together then have an ugly split eventually (which is where it is heading). I gave him a chance to buck up his ideas and help more, I gave him two weeks and he did nothing, so this weekend his bags will be out the door and he can sort out his priorities and come back hopefully a better person.
we will see…….
I’m in the same situation, except he owns the house. I’m not willing to pay for major repairs because … it’s not my house, and he doesn’t use the rent money for even little repairs. He’s a hoarder, and I thought that it was just a passing thing. Nope. The more space I clear, the more uptight he gets. He is now negative, not happy to see me, resentful of my full-time work, and picking fights with my kids (he used to get along great with them). We’ve been together 4 years, living together for 3. He used to go on crazy drinking bouts and talk trash to me – he doesn’t do that anymore. He used to have weekly poker night – he gave it up. I think he gave it up only to please me, not because it was a part of our new life together. I think he thinks I cramp his style. When I bring it up, he either attacks or sulks. Not a happy situation. I would rather move out and see him occasionally, but if I move out, that might be the end of our relationship. Sounds like I’m better off without, doesn’t it?
i’m going through the same thing. love the man but don’t want to live with him. he’s gotta go and i’d consider maintaining a relationship with him if i don’t have to see him everyday and put up with his slobbishness . . . but i don’t expect that he’ll want to be with me if he can’t sponge off of me.
bottom line is: are you happy? if not, then what’s more important? staying with him in your home and probably continuing to live the same way, or getting him out of your house and taking the chance he may not want you anymore?
Im in a tough spot myself, ive been dating this guy for over a year now and he moved in with me and my brother in july. it was really sudden and not completly planned out and even tho i have loved living with him and love everything about him i have decided to remain pure from now on and have committed myself to waiting till my wedding day. i know that he wouldnt have a problem with missing the intimacy i just have to ask him to move out too. I want time to work on myself and relationships with my family that i have pushed away and i need to have some space to myself. I dont want him to think that i want our relationship to end because thats the last thing that i want. but in order to save all of the relationships that i have put on the back burner for him, i need to make a few adjustments in my life. I will be living with my two brothers and trying to work on a better relationship with my little sister, so she can look up to me again. i need to tell him tomorrow and im terrified that he will just get up and leave but if he really loves me he will understand and support me in the long run.
in your case if he really loves you and cares about you id hope that he understands and if things are meant to work out between you both they will. God will take care of you no matter what
My partner moved in the 1st week I met him, and at first was ok. He totally lived off me and has done for the past 2years, I started moaning over a year ago, as he stays home all day slobbing in front of the tv and then expects me to run around after him cooking cleaning etc. I stopped and he got weird and then said get police if you want me to go.. I am a bit scared but don’t want to ring police. I am so unhappy and he has destroyed my deep love for him. He wont work and keeps his money from benefits for him. He also tells me that he puts electric on like 9pound,once in a blue moon!! but he lives in my flat and I pay the rent and the bills and the food shopping. Am I wrong?? I don’t seem to care bout him and everything he does just annoys me now, and he still won’t go cos he says he has no where else to stay. I actually do not care I just want to be happy again, and have my life and flat back…I once loved him with all my heart but his behaviour has killed that… I have told him many times and he just says same ol same ol like i am an idiot..which I probably am…