how do you recover/heal from an emotional abusive relationship?
My bf isn’t always the kindest to me. we tease each other a lot but sometimes he takes things way out of line. my guy friends love to diss me too and sometimes he joins in and hardly defends me. I’m gonna break up with him soon but even after I do break up with him, how can i heal the emotional pain i’ve gone through?
didn’t want ot break up with him now cuz new years eve is coming and seems like a bad time to do it. i’m 18
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Tagged with: abusive relationship • bad time • bf • emotional pain • gonna break • guy friends • new years eve • Tease • Years Eve
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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WHY are u WAITING to break up w/him?? do it NOW!!
after u dump him spend time w/yourself, friends. remember how he made u feel after the breakup and hopefully that will reinforce your decision TO break up.
oh-and get some new guy "friends."
you were verbally abused. You can seek counselling from a qualified therapist who is familiar with this (a female therapist, preferably). Alot of women have gone from being a VICTIM in this type of situation to a SURVIVOR. He has affected your self-esteem and counselling will help build you back up. good luck. =)
YOU need to let him make fun of you. What you need to do is break up with him and call as many as friends as you can. So you can go out and forget him, trust me the more you go out the better.
GOOD LUCK LEAVE THAT CHUMP
i would take a little vacation. even if it is only for like the weekend or something. idk how old you are… but if its possible… go to the spa. for the weekend or jsut for a day. pamper yourself for a little bit and seperate yourself from your guy friends and especially your soontobe ex. maybe just have a sleepover with some girl friends that will help boost your confidence level. even just a girls day out. anything like that can make a girl feel better.
Get counseling.
Or – get some books from the bookstore.
Or – recognize that he was a jerk and you made a mistake hanging with him and will not tolerate that kind of treatment in the future.
You cannot undo what has been done, but you don’t have to do it again. Do not get involved with guys that don’t respect you and treat you right.
You say you tease each other a lot, so the blame is entirely not on him. Heck we all tease each other a little. However, when the teasing become insults and they distress you, you just tell him "now you have gone too far"… he probably thinks you can take it, give as good as you get…. probably thinks your thick skinned and does`nt even realise he has gone too far. And of course, the minute he goes too far, you get hurt, and when your hurt, everything is magnified. So first things first, sit with him and tell him that the little teasing you both have is special and between you and him, but when his friends start on you, you feel trapped. Tell him that it goes too far sometimes. Perhaps you and him should agree to use a "code", so when it becomes too much for you, or if his friends are really teasing you bad, use the code…like roll your eyes, or say, "now thats just going too far", of a little sign, that way he knows to step in and defend his woman… Give him his place, i bet you he doe`nt even know he hurting you, he probably thinks its just all a joke…men!.. honestly !
You need to stop seeing the boyfriend and seek professional help. You need to off load your feelings on an independent person who knows how to help you. We should not be treated like this by partners or spouses. I was verbally and emotionally taunted by an ex of mine and it took years for me to get over it but I came out a stronger person for it. One day you will be a stronger person and will not take abuse like this again. Just remember you are a wonderful, beautiful person no matter what this drop out dead leg says.
Teasing is one thing but being cruel and abusive is unacceptable, as you know. Being treated that way destroys your self esteem and makes it hard to believe in yourself again. What helped me the most was being in a group with others who suffered the effects of abusive behaviors. You can become healthy by learning the proper responses to abuses of many types. You do need to break up with him and get away from this treatment. No one deserves to be abused. You will recover and become stronger and more self confident and you will have the ability to recognize the types of behavior that are poisonous to a relationship. You are worth whatever effort it takes. You know this is the right thing to do so stop dragging your feet and break up with him.
I understand not wanting to be alone on New Year’s Eve but would encourage you to be sure that this is worth the effort. Being alone is preferable to being abused. If you choose to stay for New Year’s Eve, will you continue to stay because something else is going on and you don’t want to be alone?? You need to think about this and make the right decision. Spend the New Year’s with friends who love you and move on to a healthy and happy new year without the extra baggage which will only drag you down.
My husband and my mother-in-law have verbally abused me too. It’s so difficult because the flash backs enter your mind every single day. Sometimes you feel rage, or simply sorrow. You need to indulge in some Self-Help activities (reading psychology books, watching comedy specials, reading the bible). Your goal is to become positive and better understand who these people are. You must come to terms with the fact that they’re low class individuals who haven’t been introduced to anything better. You cannot expect them to deliver something they’ve never been taught.
when u let him go u will fell an automatic release. i have been throught this i started dating my bf at 18 and we just broke up at 20. once he was out of my life i started to feel better about myself. the constant put downs are alleviated so u no longer deal with them and they are not constantly in your mind. i realized most men do this to bring the female down so she does not feel like she is worthy enough of anybody. it is manipulation and its not worth it. there are too many men who are longing to do right by a woman and you dont want to miss out by sticking with a loser. dont be scared…let him go, youll be surprised the major affect it has on your life! you will be sad and hurt for a little but then you will realize what u r losing and that should make u feel better!