Ex Husband making false accusations because I accused him… help!?
I split with my ex husband last July. We have a two year old together. My two year old tells me that her Nana hits her (she’s recently started picking up a hitting habit, like swinging)… soon after, she came home with a mark on her eye. I ask her where this mark came from and she says that her "Nana" hit her. I call her father, and ask her what the hell happened, and he says that our daughter fell… I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him… he stalked me, followed me, recorded my conversations, and took photographs of me and my friends after he and I split up. He’s crazy. He doesn’t work a legitimate job, he works under the table. Pays absolutely no child support…. I have done the "responsible" thing by not stopping him from seeing her. Tonight when dropping her off, I said "Do you allow your Mother to discipline our daughter" He stuttered and said "Yes, she puts her in time out…" I said "well she’s making accusations that her Nana is hitting her, so if she is hitting her and you know about it… you need to tell her if it happens again, I will guarantee that she will never lay eyes in our daughter again… and neither will you." He shoots back with "Well I’ve been meaning to ask you… does your boyfriend (my fiance) change our daughter’s diaper?", I said "When it’s necessary"… she said "Oh because she claims he’s touched her".. now I know for a fact this is absolutely bullshit. My daughter has been to the pediatrician on THREE separate occasions prior to my fiance and I getting together for yeast or bacteria infections, I had the Pediatrician check her out for sexual assault because one time she is ridiculously red, and complaining that her bottom hurt. The Ped said no trauma to the area, no sexual assault of any kind. My daughters father KNOWS I’ve taken her to get checked by the Pediatrician and it infuriated him. This is some sort of backlash from the drama he’s created and I’m trying to deal with. I’m upset by this bogus accusation. He only said that because I warned him about his mom. I acted as if it didn’t effect me, but it’s really bothering my fiance. My ex makes "random shots" at him for no apparent reason when my fiance has been nothing but cordial to him, and my fiance absolutely loves and adores my daughter…
What do I do to fix this problem? We already have a pending child support and custody hearing… I have no attorney and can’t afford one in this economy with him paying NO child support. He has an attorney, and works under the table. Please help!
Thanks for all of the information. We do have a separation agreement, and a custody agreement (I’m in the process of getting it adjusted through court). This is the ONLY reason I’ve allowed my daughter to go- I don’t want to be held in contempt.
For those of you bashing my character, not that I need to explain myself to you but I’m an adult. I work for the Federal Government and I was asking your opinion on how to fix this. I am WELL aware that he said/she said does not play out in court. My question was simply how do I get my daughter’s father to stop playing the cat/mouse game, how to be a good father, support his daughter and rather than leaving her with his parents to go out and party- SPEND TIME WITH HER. Do not bash my character, you don’t know me. I work my ass off to make sure she is being brought up in a positive home. I don’t need your negativity. For those experienced, I need your advice. For those not experiences, get a damn life and go be bored somewhere else..
Related Information:
Tagged with: accusations • backlash • bacteria • child support • conversations • Discipline • False Accusations • fiance • habit • hell • legitimate job • Mark 99 • nana • occasions • ped • pediatrician • photographs • sexual assault • time out • Trauma • yeast
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
when a man is trying to detract the blame off him he will make untrue accusations to get u to focus on something else instead of him. next time your child comes home with a bruise i would take a picture of it, the courts may get a guardian addendum involved that would be a person, maybe some attorney who would have the best interest of the child at heart, and what he/she says is usually how the judge rules. the ex will never be the man u want him to be, but if your child is getting abused u need to tell the children’s services, but know that he will most certainly come back on u and make false accusations on your boyfriend.
Call child protected services on this person and tell then what has been going on. Also you may want to try legal aide for a lawyer but I am canadian and have no idea of american laws. Probably the first place you can ask would be the police – maybe they have some suggestions. Forget about the rest of the stuff – he is taking your mind away from the real issue here and good luck!
wow, it sucks to be you. Lobotomies all around. I read all that, and now I feel like I’m on the Jerry Springer show, help.
sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows
go get a therapist. this is too much for one normal person to have to wrap their brain around.
Welcome to my world girl ! Whenever my ex gets in a tissy fit, I’m finding myself in court. My son is 3 and my ex tried to tell me that my son (when he was 2) told him that "mommy does drugs" my son doesn’t even know that word and bring on the drug tests…I’d pass.
There is nothing you can do to make the situation better. Things have gotten worse since I’ve been dating my current boyfriend (about a year) and my ex feels I should never move on or be in love again for the sake of our son….even though he’s remarried. It’s drama. I’m $7K in lawyer fees that I have just exhausted and need to pay more on….it’s never going to stop as long as the child is under 18 and the ex has a say in anything.
I don’t think you need an attorney for child support but do you have other paperwork for visitation? If not, I would say GET SOME but I know how hard it is to afford a lawyer, I wouldn’t be able to afford it without my parents helping me (I have to pay it all back) but if there is no court order to order you to give him visitation, I would cut it to the minimum but be careful cause it goes both ways….he doesn’t have to give the child back either.
I’m sorry you have to go through this. It’s really hard. I’ve been going through it for a while.
The judge isn’t going to care that he works under the table. He or she will remind your ex that he’s under oath, that he’s not going to get in trouble with the IRS, but that he has to be honest or face federal charges for lying under oath.
You’ll probably do just fine at court, so don’t sweat that. The accusations and counter-accusations are problematic. You need to be very careful. You can use phrases that focus on the things you saw with your own eyes, and that is something that he can’t deny. If you ask for explanations calmly, it will help a lot, and I would suggest asking polite, detailed questions to show that you’re being thorough.
Your child is not old enough to reliably inform you of what’s happening in your ex’s house. You’re going to get yes or no’s randomly. Since you have no custody agreement, you can play hardball by simply telling your ex that he’s going to wait until the court date to spend time alone with your child. You can allow him to visit by meeting in public places. This might serve to let your ex know that you’re trying to be fair, but also very, very concerned about what you’ve seen, and, since you’re not being confrontational or making accusations, you’ll be on a moral high ground when you deal with custody issues.
Good luck! This is always a tough issue…
I think Children Services needs to be called on the both of you something isn’t right here. For one the doctor can only tell you if a child has been sexually raped or something to that effect. However a doctor cannot tell you if a child has been touched or not.
You sticking up for your bf I can see that but I also understand where your ex is coming from.
There is two sides to the story here your both pointing fingers at one another you both take all this into court. I promise you children services will be all over all off you like you would not believe.
You sound plenty mad over him not paying child support honestly this needs to be investigated this whole situation. Like someone else said a therapist would not be a bad idea for all of you. This is some serious drama for just a few people. People need to watch what they say because you and your ex saying things to one another about hitting or being touched can land you all in a lot of trouble.
This is pretty bad I think all of you need to talk to someone seriously you guys are adults. Saying things back and forth is either going to get you both in trouble or one of you that’s for sure. Nobody knows what the truth is and honestly for all I know maybe your baby did say that about your soon to be husband after the child tells you the grandmother I take it hits her.
So who knows what the truth is and what isn’t you guys are seriously some screwed up people.