Help! I need your advice…what should i do?
My Story:
Two baby sisters(very annoying and destructive)
Step dad (i don’tt get along with at all, mentally abusive relationship)
mom (crazy and stressed out, exhausting)
friends (party too hard, not good to talk to about problems)
My mom just bought a house that needs alot of work so my home life is kinda stressful. Living with my family is very exhausting and lonely. My family is always picking at me, and my friends are bad influences. they drink and smoke weed all the time and they are usually to busy to talk to about anything going wrong. I play Ice hockey but im the only girl on the team which sucks because i dont really feel like im apart of the team. Its also lonely.. then i just got my heart broken by this jerk who led me on and then got back with his ex girlfriend. He left me hanging. and now im really lonely and going through withdrawl from talking to him so much. Also even though there is nothing wrong with my body i have insecurities about it that are eating away at me. i used to be bulimic but i have control of it. i have issues talking to people because i dont feel like i fit in with white or black people because im mixed. I used to not care what people think about me but the people i know are so judgemental and full of themselves. I know that if i could just get out of this city and meet new people i would be fine but im stuck here around the same average guys and evil girls. Also im a sophomore in an awful public school and im in all honor classes. they are extremely challenging. im getting extremely stressed out now that the break is over because i dont know if im going to be able to balance my emotions, my friends and family, sports, and school and i have a bunch of really hard exams coming up and finals. Does anyone know why everything has to be so shitty? Im feeling kinda suicidal and lonely i dont know what to do.. or how to get passed this rough patch in my life because i know when i graduate it will get better. but right now it doesnt feel worth living.
(sorry if i sound emo im not trying to get your pity, i know other people have it much worse i just need some tips) thanks..
Related Information:
Tagged with: abusive relationship • advice • baby sisters • emotions • ex girlfriend • family sports • friends and family • girls • heart • Ice Hockey • jerk • mom • rough patch • Smoke Weed • sophomore • step dad • tt • withdrawl
Filed under: How To Get Her Back
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Hey, sounds like you’re going through a pretty rough time alright. Everything is sort of blending into one big mess, so you need to seperate it out into more manageable bits.
How old are your sisters? If they are quite young this is probably their way to react to the stress around them, as they aren’t old enough to handle it better. I don’t know the details, but if you could find some common ground and bond with them more it could help a lot. If you’re the eldest you probably get saddled with a lot of looking after, so you may as well try to make that job easier on yourself
It’s really tough when you end up feeling like you’re holding everything together, especially your parents. Your step dad does not sound good at all. All I can say is that you are so much bigger than him, because you are not trying to pick at someone who is younger than you and in your care. You should have a relationship of trust, but things aren’t always like that, and unfortunately you are limited in how much you fix the situation. I would suggest trying to stay away from him as much as possible. Try letting his words not get to you, and concentrate on yourself. If there is any way you can support your mum, that could maybe help make her less stressed and hopefully able to stand up for you, too?
But in this situation you are unfortunately limited, so just try to put up with it as best you can and try let it affect you as little as possible. It is time-limited, so time is on your side here
With regards to school work, you need to take a deep breath and try to focus. Maybe you aren’t going to be perfect in every subject, but I’m sure there is a reason you are in these classes in the first place. You will use much less energy when you are actually doing some work for half an hour, then you need for two hours worrying about not being able to do it!
If your family is breaking your concentration, can you go someplace else to study? The library, a friend’s house, etc?
That said, friends should really be more supportive. It sounds like they are too involved with their own stuff, is there anyone else at school or in the neighbourhood you can relate to?
Is there any after-school club you could get involved in, where you can do school work, but also hang out and get away from all the hassle?
I don’t really know why everything has to be so difficult for so many people, but I guess the reason it feels like everything is worse than it perhaps really is, is a sort of defense mechanism. Only it doesn’t really help you, it makes you feel powerless and worse. But really, the older you get, the more control you have over your life. The more responisibility you also have, but you have more choice and can get help and advice from all over the place, so it really is better that way, when you are coming from a difficult situation. Best of luck!
P.S. I think it’s really impressive how you’re on the hockey team! If you really feel lonely and left out there on account that you are the only girl, then is there another team you could join? But I think it’d be worth making another effort to getting included. It must feel like you’re the odd one out everywhere at the moment, but really it doesn’t have to be that way. I’m mixed race, too, and have often hung out with the boys instead, if you think about it, it’d be a shame to give up on something just because not many others like you go for it. Being the only girl in the band, or the science lab, or the only guy in the ballet class should not really be such a big deal anymore, should it. Keep doing what you love! Please don’t give up
P.P.S. Oh and that guy, forget about him. He saw you were vulnerable, it’s natural you went for it. Everyone wants to talk and feel loved and understood. So he turned out to be a rat, but that’s his problem, it’s him that has to wake up a rat every morning, not you.
Sometimes you see a gorgeous fruit in the supermarket, and when you get it home, it’s rotten inside. Well, it was rotten all along, the only thing that’s gone is your ideas about it. You’ll find someone again, and that situation will be as good as you thought, and better. Everyone sometimes gets rotten mangoes…