Will It Ever Be Anything More Than Just A Close Friendship?
My Girlfriend & I have been together for almost a year now & things were (up until recently) going really great. Just yesterday when we had been spending some quality time together, she tells me that she loves me, but she does not want to get into a serious relationship anymore (I understand where she’s coming from because she’s a free-spirited, fun-loving person that can’t be tied down to commitments & I for one will never keep her like a prisoner or some sort of prize. I also know that she’s been through relationships before that really changed her mindset about taking that route or ever finding that perfect love – a guy who will appreciate her & love her for who she is – ever again).
She then says to me that she would only be wasting my time & end up hurting me, so it’s best that we remain good friends. I don’t know if she’s doing this just to protect me, but I don’t believe that she would be wasting my time (as she put it). I realize that maybe she just needed space to think for a while (especially with the stress she had during the past week), but I love her with all of my heart & soul. I have mentioned to her that if ever she needed anything, I will be there for her (& I have done so already, never expecting anything in return because just being able to be there for her makes me happy – she appreciates that & it only makes her love me even more).
I don’t know why she’s changed her mind about us (because I know I haven’t done anything wrong & I know she isn’t anyone else), but it’s not going to change the way I feel about her & it’s not going to stop me from caring. I love her, but I don’t want to lose her.
Is this all it’s ever going to be? Are we nothing more than friends?
I made that mistake once before (& I nearly lost her), I promise that I will do whatever it takes to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
Yes, I AM prepared to wait for her & I know that she needs a little space to breathe, especially after what she’s been through last week (I have thought about everything & I know what I want. I love & adore her & I will be here for her no matter what).
What can I do or say to reassure her of this?
I know that I shouldn’t be asking for too much & I don’t mind our relationship being open-ended with no pressure, no expectations & not being tied down or feeling like a prisoner. I just don’t want to lose her by messing up, that’s all.
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Tagged with: amp • commitments • friendship • girlfriend • good friends • heart • little space • love • loving person • mindset • mistake • quality time • relationships • serious relationship • stress • wasting my time
Filed under: How To Get Her Back
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Each person is different but I’ll speak from my own experiences. I dated a girl for 5 months, and things were great. We had great chemistry and always had fun together. Then we decided to get serious, and that lasted about a month and a half and then she dumped me…
See she still liked me, we never once fought, still had a great time together, but she just realized she wasn’t ready for serious relationship. She didn’t know what exactly it was she wanted yet or if I even had those qualities, not to mention we are fairly close to graduation (from college). She didn’t want to waste my time and lead me on (sound familiar?). The break-up was hard for both of us, and we had a good 2 or 3 hour talk.
Over the course of the next month and a half we stayed friends, at first it was kind of rough (trying to revert back to friends) but I tried my damnest to be as good a friend I could and most importantly to be myself and take care of myself (going out and having fun)… and we slowly realized that both of us still had strong feelings for each other. In fact we felt closer to one another now than we did before.
We both decided that we should start dating again, and leave it at that… open ended. No pressure, no expectations, just let things unfold as naturally as possible and see where it ends up.
It’s been a month and things haven’t been better between the two of us… if things work out then great, and if they don’t then it wasn’t meant to be.
What I’m saying is, I know it sucks right now… but just be yourself, be there for her as a friend when she needs you, don’t force anything, have fun and go out and meet people. Most importantly don’t set any expectations… if things happen to work out between the two of you then great, she finally realized how good you are for her, and if not, well then you still have one of your best friends. The important thing is if she wants to be with you, she’ll tell you, not the other way around. So stay in contact, but try, seriously try as hard as you can (however much it might suck) to be a friend, then if things start heating up again start over.
Sometimes people don’t realize what they had until it’s missing.
I hope this helped, it’s a tough spot you’re in and whatever ends up happening I hope you find happiness.
wow… that’s tough… but i say just do what you’re doing. take it slow. trying to get her into the relationship too fast would be like going into extremely cold water too fast. you’ll scare her and lose her forever. just show her how you’ll be there, and you’re prepared to wait for her. maybe that’s what she’s looking for to reassure her.
i wish you the best!!
Give her some time! She probably needs some space, some time to think things out and breathe. If she’s really meant for you, things will work out just fine in the end.
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