if your dumped for their ex?
My girlfriend left me for her ex!?
met her ten years ago. we hit it off. her ex had dumped her for another prior to that. they had been together for 6 months i think but friends for a few years before that. anyway – she and i went out for a year in 2000. then she dumps me for some stupid woman. i let her go.
didnt talk to her for about 3 and a half years. she calls me. we patch things up. we lived together for the last 5 years. 2005 to last week.
then she dumps me for her EX GIRLFRIEND who initially dumped her ten years ago! arrrghgh! are you kidding me?! i moved out quickly and told her to go to hell as any self respecting woman would have. lololo sad thing is this girl will just dump her AGAIN and i told her that as i was leaving. we are in our early 40′s.
what the hell is wrong with these women!!! oh – and this ex dumped her girlfriend at the same time as mine dumped me so they can be together – yet wont move out of her girlfriends house. she makes good money. so no excuse.
i think its pathetic. really bad thing is i know beyond a doubt my girlfriend will call me one day – when this woman dumps her *** yet again. how do you prepare yourself not to get sucked back in – even though you love them still?
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Tagged with: Doubt • Dumps • ex girlfriend • excuse • half years • hell • Met • money • sad thing • stupid woman • Wont Move
Filed under: Ways To Get An Ex Back
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I hear that you understand that your ex’s world is dysfunctional and, frankly, any energy you decide to contribute to it in the future will just enable her to stay dysfunctional. The details are superfluous, that is, whether or not she reaches back out to you or not, the overall history tells us that until she seeks professional help for her self-destructive lifestyle choices, you cannot be expected to get involved in "rescuing" her again. And that’s the thing — she’s running scared and looking for a savior. Whether she’s 40 or 15, it doesn’t change that she’s emotionally immature and on a fruitless search for a parent-substitute.
Ok, so what about you? Because you’re the one here asking the question and looking for help. That’s big. It shows that you know that your life can be better, happier and less drama-filled. Good for you. I hear that you’re confused and terribly hurt by this long, arduous love you have for your ex. Let me share something I learned from personal experience: I had a 7 yr long relationship with a man I adored. He turned out to be an alcoholic, drug addict batterer. Long story short, in the end, I found the strength and hope to send him away forever. It was hard and painful, BUT… I learned as time went on that I didn’t die from the agony of losing him. I realized that MY love was MINE and it was good and important and really nothing to do with HIM or anyone else for that matter. It came from me and I was/am the one experiencing it! I learned that I actually could love him better when he wasn’t around and that our "relationship" was the best it had ever been once I knew I’d never see him again. Sound weird? Not at all. Thing is, I have all the good memories of him and our time together to cherish and he’s not here to tarnish those nice feelings with his bad behavior and abuse. I can go months, years even, just loving him from afar, not exposed to his hell. And every time I think of going to look for him, I just close my eyes and remember one bad day with him and the desire to find him evaporates. You see, we can love people and NOT share in the daily consequences of their choices. But we can only have this kind of "perfect" love as long as they’re not around to mess it up. Just believe that you are strong enough to get through this very tough part — the immediate aftermath of a terrible break-up. Fact is, there is no such thing as a good break-up, so the ache you may be feeling to re-unite with her and forgive her and so on is really an expression of the fear you feel about walking through the pain of loss. You need to just grieve and the healing will slowly come. But it takes time. And it takes time in which you have no contact with her. If you really want to move on, you must just move on. And believe that the parts of her that you love will travel with you in your heart, untarnished by her day-to-day self-destruction.
I really hope this has comforted you a bit. Stay strong and be well. (((hugs)))