After cheating is it possible to get your wife back and how do you let her know she may be able to trust again?
We have a 13 week old baby. She left at 8. We have been married for 10 months. I kissed someone in Sept. And I flirted with a few girls that she found out about. Stupid mistakes I never knew how they would effect my son I am only 22. I have admitted everything I have been graceful. How do I explain she can trust me again after all the pain I put her through? We are having one final talk tonight I need all the advice I can Ill never make this mistake again I see how it effects her and our son. Any advice please!!!!
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Tagged with: 10 months • Cheating • girls • mistake • old baby • stupid mistakes
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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You flirted and kissed someone. You did not have sex with anyone. sounds as though you could have; however, and thankfully, you showed restraint. I am sure she can and will get over this if you are honest and remorseful. As well give her some form of explanation for your behaviors. But it will take a great deal of time. Yes, you are young and that is a big part of the problem. Getting married and then having children so soon, places great strain on a relationship. If you are sincere and simply be honest and take it for what it is worth. Ask her to go to couples/marriage counseling and work through this together. And never again forget "you are now a married man as well a father" not single anymore. You must always keep her in the forefront of your thoughts when making any decisions or choices. Marriage is a great deal of work and compromise. Keep your lips off other women! Good luck!
You did not cheat; you were irresponsible poor judgment Flirting is normal for most of us. What it leads to is your choice. We all must maintain self control over ourselves. The kissing was bad, but forgivable if you are sincere and remorseful.
That’s not cheating unless you two bumped uglies.
she’ll only trust you if she wants to….all the talking in the world will not convince a young woman with a 13 week old baby to trust you again…….HEY….what would you feel if you found out I was kissing your wife and making passionite love on the living room rug while you left at 8:00 ? also, what if that cute little 13 week old baby was mine and not yours ? think about it, dude…..
You will need to do whatever she asks you to in order to regain her trust, you have to be willing entirely.
Tell her what you have learned from this and ask, actually beg, for a second chance. If you have ideas on how to fix this, tell her.
You could even suggest that you get some counselling – it shows that you’re invested in making it work.
It’s not impossible but it won’t be easy. I wish you luck.
Kissing and flirting…though they are VERY disrespectful and wrong…when you are married!!!…They are not the end of the world…and I hope that now that you’ve seen the error of your ways…she does take you back.
You guys are so young…Oh my…SO YOUNG. And you’ve had a child…which only complicates so much.
Good luck to you…I’m afraid you’re going to need it.
She wants to hear that you love her, this was a huge mistake and it will never happen again. Tell her you are ready to do ANYTHING to get her back and if she wants to go to counselling you will agree to do it!!!
The counselling part will get her back.
Some men can’t handle being married at 22. You should have sown your oats before taking vows you could not fulfill. Talk to her and be an open book to her. She might forgive you but she will never forget. Never cheat. Nobody ever wins.<>
Are you sure about yourself?
Give some more time before you try to prove anything. Until then the key word is "abstain"
If you really want to make this work, being honest is the first step. The obligations of parenthood can seem overbearing at 22, which is a fairly young age.
What you need to decide is if you really want to be with this person. You admit to looking around/flirting with other girls. Maybe you really aren’t ready to settle down. If that’s the case, you need to make sure that above all else you do right by that child. It will better for you to always take part in his life, even if you aren’t married with his mother. I’ve seen people who try to ‘stick it out’ just for their kids. The result is that both parents are miserable and the child becomes the product of another dysfunctional family.
The other option is to not be in a relationship with the mother, but you still need to be there to help her raise YOUR son. This means being prepared to accept other men that will eventually enter her life.
You’re in a tight spot, and there are no quick or easy solutions.
I recommend some serious soul searching before your talk tonight.
Good luck.
It will depend on her, then you & her maybe working it out
For someone who has been there. She will never trust you again. You broke that bond you had with her. Trust and commitment is everything in a marriage. You were the fool! I hope you can live with her wondering every day what you are doing and with who!
And I can’t tell you good luck, you don’t deserve it. "Once a cheated always a cheater"
But I wish her good luck.
maybe try some marriage conseling. it will take her a very long time to trust u again. and yes kissing is cheating.
You have to be TRULY remorse for your actions and make REAL effort in healing the pain which you have caused.
My husband cheated on me by flirting and sleeping with another woman and i actually gave him another chance. Though i never really did forgive him, the pain is lesser over time. What he did was make an effort to change his habits and spent every single free time he has to be with me without giving me any chance to be suspicious again.
Oh my,
A mommy of 13 weeks old baby? You know well how her feelings and emotions is right now. Pregnant women and women that just got a baby are having very unstable emotions, they can be hurt very easy even if you said something that you don’t mean to hurt her, she’ll still be hurt so just be really careful tonight. If she already found out that you kissed and flirted with few girls, I don’t think that is a small thing for her to deal with. Come on, if it’s just one another WOMAN, then she might be understand that you could keep your promise to change your behaviour, but if more than one? I’m afraid that she wouldn’t believe you anymore…
Just keep trying, hopefully there’s still a second chance for you in her head
what is the gaurantee that you will not cheat again.
Its cheating if you wouldn’t want her to be doing the same with some other guy.
You can’t explain to her that she should trust you, you need to show her. No more fooling around with anyone else, and keep being honest and upfront with her, show her that you love her. Eventually hopefully she’ll forgive you and trust you.
You can’t explain away or downplay smooching another girl and flirting with others.
The situation you’re in? Well I was the one in diapers (NB: my parents divorced soonafter).
Tell her:
(1) You love her and you love your baby more than anything else in the world. And you don’t want to lose either of them.
(2) Because you love them so much, you’ll be faithful to them both from now onwards.
(3) Answer these two questions: Why did you marry her? Why did you have a baby with her?
(4) Ask for her forgiveness…
I pray that everything will turn out fine. Just be glad that all you did was kiss & flirt. The next time you feel the urge to surge, think of your baby and the promises you made on your wedding day to your wife!
drphil .com is a good place to look.
From now on you are going to have to show her/tell her EVERYTHING to the tiniest of details and after doing this for a few years she may start trusting you again.
People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing…..this is your mantra for the next few years.
If you dont do the hard yards with the above approach, the issue will just keep arising over and over again every time your wife gets angry at something.
They may be stupid mistakes but that’s your wife and you know better than anyone not to go out and flirt with other girls, isn’t that why you got married, even though you’ve admitted your mistakes, she’ll never be able to trust you the same way she did. When you talk to her, you must be truthful to your words and don’t just say things that sounds good because they will come back around and bite you in the rear.
Rent the movie fireproof and get the book The love dare, it will take 40 days. http://www.fireproofmymarriage.com/ She does not have to do it with you. but this will show her you are in to it for the long haul and a female can tell when a guy is putting on a show just to do what he has to. put 110% of your heart in to it.
She’s well out of it with you – you’ve done it before – you’ll be doing it again. Why should she ‘waste her life’ with someone like you.
So it was a stupid mistake! – yeh I bet – when caught out say anything to save yourself – to late she’s seen right through you.
And you were ‘graceful’ about the whole thing well done you – what a plonker!!
Trust is a very hard thing to get back, if it ever truly comes back.
Sorry to say but "Mistake" is a cop out. What, it’s a mistake to love her and be faithful. If it is better get out now because
just remember one thing.
Words to live by " What goes around, comes around"
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