My girlfriend wants her ex-boyfriend back, doesnt love me the way i love her!!?
My current girlfriend was in relationship with her now ex-boyfriend for like 4 years, in really serious relationship.
4 months ago he dumped her, but she isnt over with him yet….two months ago i started loving her…she tells me now that she doesnt love me the way i love her (she’s my first love n i love her with all my heart), she says she just likes me, thats it……currently she’s in different city, her ex is in the same city, they meet everyday n call each other everyday too, and she loves him a lot, but he ignores her, even though she has confessed her feelings for him after their break up many times…..she even kissed him twice recently after they both got drunk…..
Now, i dont know what i should do, since recently she told me on phone that she actually used me…..her ex told her that he would be frnds with her only if she got a new love, so she used me, in order to talk to him, since she loves him a LOT……she says she’s really sorry, wants to love me back but loves her ex, n says her ex ignores her whenever she talks about her love for him, but he still contacts her everyday….I really really love her a lot, don’t wanna let her go, but she doesnt love me dat way, loves her ex a lot, n he’s a guy who ignores her, but still wants to be in contact with her, n worst part i cant shift from my current university to the city in which she’s studying…..WHAT SHOULD I DO????? m really really depressed…..PLZ HELP!!!
10 POINTS WAITIN’ !!!
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Tagged with: 4 months • Current • current university • different city • feelings • first love • girlfriend • heart • love • serious relationship
Filed under: How To Get Him Back
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you should let her go. i know it will hurt, but it is better than being with someone that only wants you so their ex will talk to them. if she doesn’t love you, and she’s using you to talk to him, then you are just a rebound. there’s no way to say it nicely.
You know the girl used you. Are you ok with that? You know she doesn’t deserve the love you feel for her. Let her go and move on. This first step is the hardest but once you make the move, don’t look back. There will be another girl out there for you who you will love probably even more than this girl.
Dont love her dude. Your heart is gonna be broken. There are many more girls out there who would love you more than anyone else. Trust me..just be friends with her. And getting drunk and kissing twice..doesnt sound like that..they must’ve had sex or whatever. Dont go out with her just let your feelings fade away and be friends.
She’s just using you which you obviously know and doesnt have feelings for you, the feelings she has for her Ex are not gonna vanish anytime soon believe me i’ve been involved in a situation like this, best thing to do is just forget her and move on with your life.
She tells you she still has feelings for her boyfriend, does not loVe You the same way, using you to get over ex? or trying to make him jealous. She is your first, it is going to be hard but not as hard as you life could be down the track if you marry have kids and still no respect for you? doormat position Quit uni! If you FREE yourself you will MEET others….don’t be scared to MOVE ON you have to let her go or if you really cannot, Enjoy but Detach self. You sound like a decent guy you will meet someone who can reciprocate on the same level when you let that go. Maybe also try ignoring her?
I am sorry this happened but why be with someone that isnt in love with you? I would let her go you will only hurt more if you hang on
Hello God Of War.
I know what you should do but I doubt you will do it…
Do you want a shot at having this girl ? I am not even going to say have a shot at getting her back because it sounds like you never really had her….at least emotionally.
You need to completely cut ties with this girl for at least 4 weeks. I mean no contact, no emails, phone, text messaging for 4 weeks. If she calls you tell her you are busy and will get back to her.
I know this sounds harsh but right now you are being her emotional tampon as she deals with her feeling for this other guy. No way man. You need to be number one and the best way to get that is have respect for yourself by not putting up with being second fiddle.
The best advice I ever got on the psychology of girlfriends came from a little e-book on the subject. You can check it out here if you want to….good luck!
http://www.getexbackproductreports.com/The-Ex2-System-Review.html
She’s USING YOU!!! come on she even told you. Don’t let her play you a fool and do whatever she wants with you. You may love her but she doesn’t love you and she told you! You need to let her go it would be the best thing to do in your case. If you drag this down it’ll hurt even more later. If she wants to be cheating on you then you don’t need this kind of crap! Just let her go she’s not worth it and wont be!
Well, it’s obvious that you really care for this girl. I think you need to take a step back and see what it really is about her that you love so much. Is it really her, or the fact that she is your first love. Relationships are meant to go both ways. Just look at her prior relationship. I bet she didn’t reject her last bf…in fact, she still loves him. In my opinion, you have to let her go. It’s just going to keep on hurting you that she’s using you. :/
I wish you the best of luck!
She is doing the same thing to you that he is doing to her. Everyone deserves to be with someone who wants them back. I know it hurts to want someone who doesn’t feel the same way about you, but you need to move past this.
Look at this situation as if you’re an observer. How would you feel if one of your best friends were going through this and chasing a dream that didn’t chase him back? Waste of time, right? Well that’s what she’s doing by chasing that guy and what you’re doing by chasing after her.
Let her go, move on, heal and wait for the right one for YOU to come along. You are only a rebound person for her and rebound partners always get hurt. She told you the truth so be thankful she didn’t string you along, forever then you’d be in too deep and hurt even more.
Best of wishes.
This is probably not the answer that you want to hear but it is an answer that I believe that you need to hear.
To start with, my initial feeling after reading your entry is that you are a genuinely nice guy, you treat her very well and you want her to love you the same way that you love her. If this is the case, you are very much like me and I have been through a similar situation where my ex still had feelings for her ex and she did not love me the same way I loved her.
What I came to realize later is that I loved the way she made me feel and I loved any attention and affection she would give me but the heartache she gave me with her not being over her ex was always there. It wasn’t fair to me but I put up with it in hope that by some miracle, she would forget about him. In actuality, I knew deep down that she was not going to give up on him but I hung around anyway only hurting myself. I also realized that she was using me to make her feel loved and appreciated but I was really getting nothing in return. She was using me because I allowed her to use me.
About 8 years ago, I received some very valuable advice about relationships which I use to this day. I am suggesting that you write down two lists about her. The first list is all of her positive qualities and the second list is all of her negative qualities. It is okay to list superficial qualities on each list but you also want to list any quality, good or bad, that is important to you. Once you have completed your lists, use each quality in the following phrase: MY IDEAL GF IS A GF WHO __________
Your positive list might look something like this:
MY IDEAL GF IS A GF WHO is very affectionate. (Important quality?)
MY IDEAL GF IS A GF WHO is very intelligent. (Important quality?)
MY IDEAL GF IS A GF WHO has blond hair. (Superficial quality?)
MY IDEAL GF IS A GF WHO Communicates openly and honestly with me. (Important quality?)
MY IDEAL GF IS A GF WHO looks great in a bikini. (Superficial quality?)
MY IDEAL GF IS A GF WHO loves to cook. (Superficial quality? Important quality?)
MY IDEAL GF IS A GF WHO is ticklish. (Superficial quality?)
You would probably agree that some of those qualities might look pretty appealing.
Now lets look at what your negative list might look like:
MY IDEAL GF IS A GF WHO takes what I have to give but gives little or nothing in return. (Important quality?)
MY IDEAL GF IS A GF WHO lies to me. (Important quality?)
MY IDEAL GF IS A GF WHO uses me to make her feel better but still has feelings for her ex and wants him back. (Important quality?)
MY IDEAL GF IS A GF WHO is rude and condescending to me when she gets mad. (Important quality?)
MY IDEAL GF IS A GF WHO doesn’t return my calls. (Superficial quality?)
MY IDEAL GF IS A GF WHO cheats on me. (Important quality?)
Obviously, your ideal gf would not have any of those negative qualities. Once you look at the negative list in the context of that phrase, you need to take a look at each quality and place them in one of three categories. The first category is "Petty, I can live with it". The second category is "Important but if I speak to her about it with kindness and she is willing to change, the relationship could work" and the third category is "Relationship Killer"
For me, dating anybody who is not committed to me and making our relationship work (just as I put 150% into any relationship I am in to make it work) is sabotaging our relationship and that is a relationship killer. Any qualities such as abuse, infidelity, constant lying or or any other major issue you can come up with are also relationship killers.
The longer you stay in a relationship which is bound to be doomed by such destructive behaviors, the more heartache you will go through in your recovery.
Ask yourself these questions: Do I really love her or am I possibly addicted to the way she made me feel when I thought she loved me?
Am I being realistic in believing that she will get over him and devote herself to me or am I setting myself up for more pain? Am I being loved or am I being used?
I think that you will come to the conclusion that it is time to look out for yourself, your heart and your sanity and let her know that you care deeply about her but you need to move on because it is too painful to give your total love to somebody who is unable to give hers in return. As long as she is pining after her ex and he is in the picture, there is no relationship between the two of you. At that point, wish her all the best and close the door. If she tries to come back to you, she needs to prove to you that she is completely over her ex and she needs to promise you that he will not be contacting her any more. If he does, she needs to cut it off with her ex. If she cannot make those promises, she is not ready to come back to you.
In the meantime, learn from the relationship and take yourself out of the dating game for a few months so that yo