I love my boyfriend very much. He is sweet to me and treats me so great. Sometimes I feel though that it is fake. Like he doesn’t know how to deal with me other than being sugary sweet. We have been together since the end of our senior year of high school, almost 4 years ago. He isn’t motivated towards life really though, and he often lets an immature side of him take over. He gets MAD about the silliest things sometimes, and it really really gets on my nerves.

I am an outdoor person who grew up in the country and he is from a big suburb. The older we get, the more apparent these things are. He isn’t interested in spending the day at the lake and I always want to go. We don’t share as many common interests as we used to. He likes to listen to old rock and roll, and I like that too, but if I bring any electronic music home, he never wants to listen to it or if we do, he picks it apart because it isn’t hard enough. He is a great musician and dreams of making that his career, but he doesn’t take any active steps towards it.

He has a warrant for not having insurance or registration or inspection and couldn’t pay the ticket. His parents offered to pay it all for him in exchange for him coming out and helping them fix up their new house, and he won’t do it. I have to cart him around everywhere. If I really cared about him deep inside, wouldn’t I feel more patience for him? I am confused as to why I get mad about these things. I try to help him, but he won’t fully accept it. I guess he is lazy?

He and I have lived together the whole time we have been together. There have been a couple of times were he betrayed my trust with a couple of other girls in the beginning of our relationship, and I simply can’t let that go. I don’t think he actually like slept with them, but there was still emotional cheating and him sneaking behind my back that hurt me so badly.

When we argue or have serious talks, sometimes I bring those times up because they still eat away at me inside and he gets mad at me and says that I am bringing up old stuff that isn’t relevant anymore. That it is old news. It shouldn’t matter anymore because so much time has passed.

He doesn’t know this, but I thought that if I did what he did to me behind his back, that I would feel even and better about it. I don’t. Now I feel like I have ruined the relationship on my end, and he has no idea I flirted over text with an ex for a while. The ex and I met up, but I just didn’t want to take it further in real life, so I didn’t.

Can I have a normal relationship with him ever again now that we both have emotionally betrayed each other? He is so perfect for me in so many ways, but I feel like there is a silent black cloud lingering overhead constantly. We’re only 21. Should I end this relationship and start from scratch with another man? Should I try to stick it out with my boyfriend and see if time indeed does heal wounds?


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