This relationship has devastated my life. Will I ever recover?
I had a six month casual relationship with this guy who I lost my virginity to. I got too attached to him and told him how I felt and that I either want an official relationship from him or thats it. So he asked me to be his girlfriend and that was the best in my life. But then, he went MIA for a while and when I finally called him, he told me that he didnt want a girlfriend right now and only needed to focus on his studies. He asked if we could still be friends and because I have strong feelings for him, I agreed. When we would "hang out", he would act like my boyfriend again, cuddle with me, hold my hand, making false promises and giving me false hope. I have realized that he was just playing with my feelings so that he was the only one who could have me and he was hoping for me to sleep with him again. I have decided to end it for good and have ignored him for the past few weeks.
Ever since we broke up two months ago, I have suffered major depression and have cried almost every night. I lost all of my closest friends because they had warned me about him but being so in love with him, I was too blind to see it. So I can’t talk to anyone about this, as I have no close friends. I try to be stong, act like nothing is wrong and put on a smile for everyone who knows me but I am dying on the inside. I have tried to forget about this with alcohol and partying but that just makes it worse. I feel like I am not worthy of a real relationship and I will never be loved. Please help! Will I ever get over this?
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Tagged with: alcohol • casual relationship • close friends • false hope • false promises • feelings • girlfriend • Lost • love • major depression • partying • playing with my feelings • sleep • smile • virginity
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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I think that you will eventually get over it because the same thing happened with me with my babys father. I was sad and thought that I will never get over him, but usually it will take you to talk to another male to completely feel like the old boyfriend is history. Its natural to cry because your feelings are hurt but it will be better to try some other activities besides drinking to get your mind off of it like walking,jogging,talking on the chat line, and you can even call those old friends back and tell th em that you apologize that you did not listen to them in the beginning and I am sure they are willing to accept you back as a friend. Then you can go hang out with them and get over him. Friends normally try to hook you up with their boyfriend friend. I wish you well and I hope you try calling your friends back cause everyone needs a support group.
I would go to see a counciler. It will really help. Im in the same situation as you and its not easy. I feel the same way but when i go to therapy i feel a little better every time. I also have been drinking everynight and that REALLY doesnt help. It will just make it worse i promise.
You need to find a new guy. But this time don’t sleep with him as easily. And find a way to get back at that guy!! But not all boys are like that. Some are reallly sweet and sensitive and you need to find a guy like that but test him to make sure hes actually ur type (sweet and sensitive). But alchahol and partying DEFINETLY isn’t the answer and will only make things worse. You need to do something to get your friends back. Have a party with NO alchahol and tell them how sry u r and they were completley right and u need them right now more than ever. Or just get new friends. BTW ur so worth a good relationship!!
You will totally get over it and see your behaivor now foolish.
The best thing out of this is that no matter what other guy comes along he wont be able to play the same games on you.
You learn from your mistakes and they only make you smarter tougher and more aware of how life and people can really be.
Just try to find new friends that wont judge you for loving someone.
We all fall in and out love thats part of life.
You will, if you want to. Give it a little more time, maybe try finding some new friends to hang out with or meeting some new guys, or you could try online dating. Spend some time with yourself and making yourself feel better, because it isn’t very much fun to be around a devastatingly sad girl, it brings everyone down.
Don’t let one guy ruin your life he is probably out having a great time.. you need to do some volunteer work and help other people solve their problems. Yours will go away in the process and you might meet a nice volunteer to be in love with.. but you have to heal youself.. nobody else can do it for you not even a counselor.
There are plenty more pebbles on the beach sounds like your well shot of this lad. he has had what he wanted and don’t give a hoot. Not all men or lads are like that. Get your self dolled up and get back out there. But be more careful next time you meet someone take things more slowly. Get a commitment first.
Forget him! You deserve to be around someone that appreciates you. No one should ever be used.
Yes, you will get over it. You are better off without him. It sounds like you have low self-esteem and depression. It is better to work on yourself now than let a relationship define you. You will be better in the end.
You will get over it. I got over my first love, who I lost my virginity too. Did you know guys are even a few years behind us in maturity (sorry good guys), then you add on top of that that this guy has no morals, compassion and the sex drive of his age and well….disaster. But, I have to believe that the good ones (the girls) who learn and suffer and grow eventually end up with the most amazing men later in life…when they are ready. I know, it sounds meaningless now because you want to feel better now! You will…time. I hate it too, but it’ s true.
I just spent a year and a half after my divorce with a man that I fell deeply in love with, not even my normal type. I have never had so much fun, felt closer to someone, shared so much or..well had the amazing sex that we did (wait until you get to your late 30′s missy!). I thought I this was it, I really was happy. One day, I came home and he was gone, along with money, jewelry and my belief that all is possible in love. I loved this man more than I loved my husband of 10 years who I have one daughter with. It’s been about 2 months now. I found out all kinds of horrible things…he was an addict, hidden bourbon bottles in my basement…he was really, really good. I honestly did not know. I knew he drank, a normal amount. I just didn’t know about the prescription drugs, and the triple bourbon and cokes that followed late at night. His addiction didn’t relapse again until the last 2-3 months of our relationship slowly after being layed off from his job. I have never felt such pain, betrayal and deception. I wonder if I’ll ever get over this or if I’ll ever be the same. Well, I’ll get over it. I won’t be the same. I’ll be smarter, somehow. We can’t control other people and who they really are. That’s the lesson I have learned. What we have to do is somewhere inside of us know that we are truly ok with us, happy with ourselves and don’t lose ourselves as much as possible in a relationship. Because, mark my word, things will always change…good or bad, they will change and usually in the blink of an eye. What he did has nothing to do with you. What was done to me has nothing to do with me. It is a character flaw in those men. But, be strong and secure about who you are, what you are willing to tolerate, how you chose and demand to be treated. If we both do that, the emotional devastation can’t ruin us….temporarily break our hearts because thank goodness we have good hearts that are able to break. But, it won’t destroy us, our lives, our opinions of ourselves, whether we enjoy our days or not. I’ll think of you as I take this time to be good to myself and learn self love and self care. You have the power over you. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true. If I don’t believe it, I will drowned and I can’t, I have a beautiful 7 year old daughter depending on me. Live your life, feel your pain, find what makes you happy, push through the pain when you are ready. Good luck…you,,,we can do it!