I want to know how to get my husband back any advice?
We have been together for 4 yrs. And have a 2 yr. old little girl. We were arguing alot the last month before he wanted to leave. It has been two months now. We now live three hours apart from each other. I am the one who moved. He now live with my brother and sister in-law. My sister would tell me if he was messing around she tells me he comes home from work the same time every night and doesn’t ever do anything. He tells me he still loves me and that he will always love me but he needs sometime to think about stuff. I was with him this last weekend and it went really good, but he said he wants to still see if we can keep it like that. Then I started in with him this week. I think I wrecked it again with my mouth. I am just really hurt, and then it makes me say stupid things. I just want my family back together. Don’t know what to do.
We were arguing alot because he was working days and I was working night. He is the manager were he works. When he had to fire the assistant manager. He had to work everyday intill they found a new one. So he worked like 140 days in a row. So we would argue because we never seem to see each other or got to do things as a family. He was getting really stressed out, but who wouldn’t.
When I said I think I wrecked it with my mouth. I kind of lied and told him I found someone else. I know I shouldn’t of done that, but I thought maybe he would want me back sooner. So now he is really mad at me.
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Tagged with: advice • assistant manager • brother • brother and sister • little girl • Sister In Law • Stuff • stupid things
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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I think you lost cotrol of your emotions and now you are payin the price. Just give him some time. He has a lot to deal with it sounds like. Just let him have some space and learn to get control of your emotions. I used to be just like that but i had to learn the hard way. He sounds like a good guy and I bet he still loves you yo death. He is just probably extremely stressed out and tired right now. I really hope everything works out for ya’ll.
Good Luck!!
Throw him some booty. Men aren’t complicated.
If you want him back , learn to control that mouth, women have the tendency to keep it running and nagging is too much for a man to handle. Be nice and let him know that you love him and want the marriage to work, Good Luck.
get counseling,talk about all the thing that you cant stand about each other learn to accept them and get on with life….stop arguing, nobody wins and it accomplishes nothing.
talk to a marriage counselor
Call him and tell him that you want ti understand what is happening, and because your a little confused too, thats why you went off. you want to make it work. Just ask him to help you understand.
Good luck with everything = )
Get him home and lay it all on the table. Tell him why you are hurt and let him do the same for you. This way both of you can get past the fighting.
Then become his wife again, the one who promised him that she would love him forever.
All the best.
OK first you need to think before you speak. Explain to him that sometimes you get angry because you are afraid of loosing him and you take it out on him. You should really consider marriage counseling. If you really truly love each other you will both have to give it all you’ve got to make it work.
Why don’t you consider anger management classes?
You already know the issues you have, take the necessary steps to change them. I am sure that your husband will see you making an effort to becoming a better wife and mother. Give him time to better himself as well…
Good Luck,
What did you mean by: "I started in with him this week."
What is hurting you the most? What were you arguing about? Will he go to counseling? Why did you move 3 hours away? I’m sorry, you haven’t given enough information for me to give you an answer. I really don’t know what the problem is yet.
Wow, I understand how you feel. I was pregnant with our second child when my exhusband gave me the big bomb regarding him cheating, etc, etc. He said he wanted to change and get back together. At first I kept crowding him, calling, wanting to know where he was, checking up on him. But then he continued to cheat. Finally I backed way off. In fact, I did my own thing and came to terms with the fact that I didn’t own him and I had better start living my own life. The funny thing is, two months after our second was born, he wanted to get back together.
In my case, I said no. I couldn’t put up with what he did or forgive all the things that happened in our bad times. I was too jaded. But the lesson still stands…
1. Give him some space. If he says he wants to think right now, then you should take it at face value. Even if that’s not what he’s doing, you’re still respecting his privacy and his words.
2. Learn what you like about yourself again! Dig into music, your work, taking your girl out, seeing your friends. Learn how you were before meeting your husband, and bring those traits back to life.
3. Let him gradually realize what he is missing. Trust me, it’s better when they come to the realization on their own, rather than you cramping their space.
4. If he never comes back, I know it sucks, but remember you cant control somebody. He is his own person and you have to respect that in order to respect yourself.
And always remember. "If you can’t say nothin nice, don’t say nothin at all". When you have your next fight with him, remember that and I bet you will come out of it with a lot more dignity!!!
Just try and give him time, but don’t put ALL your hopes and faith on him coming back, just in case. He may be going through some internal personal issues. Maybe he has become overwelmed w/ the husband/dad role! Although, I don’t agree w/ how he is handling it and in my opinion think its a cop out!! Its a possiblitly. Especially since according to his sister in law he is not out looking for new love. Keep yourself busy w/ your daughter and when it does come up, try and remain calm and be understanding to what he may be going through. If it continues much longer, then you may want to move on and let go. Don’t let him string you along, if he is not showing any intentions of coming back and being a family again.
Talk to a counselor or pastor, you might want to go by yourself first. You can not make anyone do anything they do not want to do, but you can work on yourself. Find out what you did to contribute to the problem, it is never onsided. Once you find out your contribution work on making it better.
It sounds like he is a good guy since he is not going out and seeing others.
Pray and ask God for wisdom and strength..and help with controlling your mouth.
hey sometimes you find that you love a person so much, but living with them is complete different. the bad thing is you only find that out when you do. another thing is, sometimes you and a person are just supposed to go thus far in life naturally.
if you want to challenge the natural evolution of your being together, then you have to start surrendering your territories and other behaviors that are chiseled into stone. get a clean slate and begin to make how you both want it to be. with love two people can do wonders.
in the mean time you both should prepare a good plan for the children so they won’t be affected by yours ups and downs.
Instead of just talking, try to write it down when youre in one of those moments where you got to say something to get it off of your chest, well you know what I am trying to say….
Then a few days later when the emotions have passed and they’re not as strong nor in the forefront of your thinking processes, go bck and read what you have written
Then you can examine yourself without the emotions getting in the way, it may be difficult at first, but you will be glad once you get moving in the right direction…. This will help you, I beleive, with helping you see what your husband sees, to a point, and you can work on yourself with a new point of view, also will give you an advantage to equip yourself with the knowledge of what to cchange if you decide to take this route of self discovery…
also, an important thing is to share some things that you find, olike for example…
you write some things down, you were emotionally charged, wanted to talk to your husband, you wanted to say soem things that are not necessarily the best things to say, so instead of talking to him like before, like you written "Then I started in with him this week. I think I wrecked it again with my mouth", you went somewhere and written it down instead, in a quiet room, out in the car, etc…
the next day, you were feeling a bit better…. So, you read what you written the other day in the notebook, journal, or whatever you used to write in…
Like the saying goes, hindsight is 20/20, and you will see something guaranteed taht you have not seen before, if you are willing to examine yourself… You read waht you have written, then you onder on some of the things you have said… "do I really sound like that", "I sound like I am saying that, out of pain"… then you can look at these things and maybe you can see something else…
"If I say things because I feel hurt at certain times, what is it that hurts?", "I am afraid of this, or is it afraid of that, so I feel hurt because a percieved threat of some sorts?"…
It all starts with one step, then another…
Hope this helps you out…
Why are you guys separated? Couples fight all the time, but they don’t separate. You guys should not be living apart. How are you going to resolve your problems when you are apart. I agree with the counseling advice, but if you want to get your marriage back on track the first thing you need to do is get that man back in your home where he belongs.
I would suggest sitting down and talking about what bothers you face-to-face. It seems like you both have things to work out and by talking,maybe you can come to a compromise. Have you thought about marriage counseling?
go to the bookstore and buy ‘the rules for marriage’ and the book about being a good wife by dr. laura. the clerk at the counter will help you find them. read them and find out from them that there is a way for you to be a kind, supportive wife to your husband and perhaps get him back, and grow up a little in the process. we who are older have all been young, and have wondered what to do. the difference for you, you lucky girl, is that there are now books that cost almost nothing that can help you in the nick of time. and after all of this, tell him you are truly sorry.