How can i make her not fear me and start to love me again?
I need help again me and my wife are legally seperated but something in my heart still makes me want to believe that we can work this out.Any way she has a restraining order against me but we have been talking on the phone and she said she loved the way i was acting.So last night i went to a club i knew she would be at just to see her and tell her i still loved her and i would continue working on myself so i could be the person she could love again.Anyway i saw her walking with another guy she said they are just friends yet she runs into bar and i meet and the door by 4 bouncers and 15 minutes later 3 cop cars show up and ask me to leave.The thing is i am not that angry person she knew i have quit drinking and have found God plus i work out 2 times a day so i can start to like my self.I have past questions on her if anyone wants some background info.What i also want to know if she was not up to anything why run into the bar and send the bouncers out to stop me.Please women only .
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Tagged with: 15 minutes • angry person • background info • bouncers • cop cars • fear • god • heart • just friends • love • restraining order • Seperated • something in my heart
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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I believe that a good relationship doesn’t have that much drama (I read your past questions). Some people make you crazy and others bring out the best in you. I think that for the sake of your child you should concentrate on getting your own life back together. If it is meant to be that you get back together, you will. Don’t push it, that’s the worst thing. First fix yourself. Then repair the relationship with your kid. She will see the man you are becoming and if that is someone she is interested in than, good for you, if not, move on with your life. Break ups are tough, but there are thousands of people out there that were devastated by heartbreak and are now grateful that the relationship is over because what they now have is so much greater than what they had, or thought they had.
Give her a break, lay off. Showing up unexpected is pushing her away.
liver alone
Well she might have been up to something, thought that you had seen her and tried to divert the attention from her. I definately think something fishy is going on for her to act like that. She is probably seeing someone else in my opinion if you want the honest answer mate x
you’ve got to let her go. sounds like you must have done some pretty ugly things back in the day. you can’t expect her to get past it.
if you really love her, walk away from her and let her go. if you’re a changed man, you’ll find another love. as for your ex…you’ve permanently damaged the relationship and it’s not fair TO HER to keep acting this way.
in other words, you burned that bridge, man.
I wonder what you have put her through already if she is acting this way.
Sounds to me like you have abused her- and if this is the case, she is right in not loving you anymore.
Abuse in any form is never right, and if you hurt her, she is doing the right thing.
Sad to say, but liars, cheaters and abusive men never change.
I don’t mean to be crass, but I would want someone to tell me the truth if I asked…
Basically, it’s a done deal. Let her live/get on with her own life…
If she really wants to get back with you, she will tell you… in exactly those words. Don’t put words into her mouth. just because she said she loves the way you are acting means nothing except just that!
Please do not try to approach her in person anymore, it’s just making things a lot worse and you are going to ruin the small amount of trust that actually lets her at least talk to you on the phone.
There are just some things you can’t take back. You have to accept that. Changing for the better includes finally accepting the truth for what it really is. If you have truly changed, then you will eventually meet someone else and make yourself & them happy, trust me.
A restraining order means that a judge agreed that you were enough of a risk that you should stay away from her. You intentionally violated your restraining order.
I’m not sure she shouldn’t fear you.
okay FIRST off you were in some ways stalking her…you have a restraining order on you…do not Think that was a tad dumb to go there??
YES you talk on the phone THAT is different…
if it were ME and you want to REALLY show her…get your but into therapy…you cant change on your own…not with your past or history…that will give you TOOLS to be a better person with her OR without her…
ALSO get your BUTT into AA..OH you can give me that line I quit drinking and found god..MANY alcholics USE that excuse..and hun THAT is what it is..GOD alone cant help you
YOU have to do these things because ALL you are showing HER is that you wanted to harress her..
was a stupid move
She has a restraining order so she is definitely afraid of you. They don’t just hand out restraining orders so there was enough proof of violence for them to give her one. That’s why she ran into the bar. You showing up there makes you look like a stalker, at the very least. It’s also threatening behavior because of the order and you aren’t supposed to be within so many feet of her and you have the balls to show up there anyway.
Whether she was with the guy or not is not even an issue. You are separated, if either of you wants to date then so be it. Not any of the other one’s business. Leave her alone. If you want her to believe you’ve changed then quit stalking her.
my ex husband was an abusive b******d and he hurt me mentally and broke my soul. He has run back to me many tmes begging for me to take him back but they day he made me cry infront my my daughter i vowed no man would ever let that happen again while i had breath in my body.
He found god too.
Sweetie she is playing games and telling you what you want to hear. She will tell you whatever to appease you knowing that she has moved on. The best thing for you is to allow God to continue to work on you and you become the man of God that He is trying to get you to be. God is the only way right now because He knows the sincerity of your heart and your desires. Proverbs 3:5 and Psalm 37 is what helps to get through this because it seems like you are a man that have learned the error of his ways. Some people feel as though a person can never change but action speaks louder than words. Go on with your life and truly find and love yourself and the right one that God has for you will come into your life and there will be total peace and true love to be shared with you. Good luck!!!!
I once had a controlling, jealous, mentally abusive b/f and you sound just like him. The more you try to contact her, the faster she is going to run away from you. If you want her to come around- on her own- then back off. If she wants you, she knows how to find you. If you continue to badger her she might give in, but then you’ll never know if its just because you were smothering and pressuring her and she’ll eventually run again.
you cant, you obviously treated her bad when you were together and she fell out of love with you there is nothing you can do move on and try to treat the next one better then you did her or you will be alone forever
Learn from your mistakes
I think you should keep working on yourself and keep your faith in God. You don’t have to totally give up on her, she may just need time. But in the meantime don’t be afraid to look elsewhere. You might find someone else. Good Luck.