My girlfriend doesnt trust or respect me?
im just going to do this in a factual time line type format so it might be a little boring but maybe it will keep me from rambling
decemberish 2008 Broke up with my ex girlfriend
april 2009 met and began dating my current girlfriend
april or may 2009 told current girlfriend i was no longer talking to ex
september 2009 ex girlfriend found out about current girlfriend
september 2009 i sent ex girlfriend a message telling her i was sorry and i didn’t want to lose her(my big mistake is i wrote this message very fast to make ex feel better and it ended up sounding more like a love letter than an I want to be friends letter. It was about 5 sentences long.)
september 2009 ex forwarded my letter to my current girlfriend(at this point i confess that i have been talking to her and i had been lying about it)
october through december 2009 fighting constantly usually turns violent.(I never hit her)
jan-feb 2010 fighting goes back and forth sometimes we have a really good time together but more often than not we are fighting
end of feb to beginning of march things level out but get really bad at times
basically things are slowly getting better but as soon as things start to look okay they get worse than before. The main problem is she no longer trust or respects me(which I know i dont deserve and i have to earn) and she is embarrassed by me and sometimes i dont think she likes me anymore. She cant even really look me in the eyes anymore. I know i have to deal with the abuse because she is still hurting so bad because all she thinks about is how bad i hurt her. I know i can handle it Im just scared its never going to better no matter how hard I try. She has told me Im doing a really good job and she just needs time. We almost took a break sometime in february when we were fighting really bad and she told me she had a crush on one of her guy friends and found him very attractive. I stayed very calm through this whole situation and the break was her idea but she ended up begging me to not take the break and said she wanted to keep trying. I dont know what to do. Neither of us can let go but we both hate the current situation. We talk about wanting to get married but i wonder if its just us trying to hang on to something thats gone. And I know this is all my fault and im a scumbag idiot. No need to tell me.
Related Information:
Tagged with: April • big mistake • Current • ex girlfriend • good job • good time • guy friends • jan feb • love letter • Met • mistake • Respect • sentences • time line
Filed under: Ways To Get An Ex Back
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
I think you should tell her that you feel that she doesn’t trust or respect you; ask her what makes her distrust you. If she says some things that are true, I think you should work on those things. However, after you two discuss it, if she continues to distrust you and disrespect you and if her claims were unfounded I think you should break up.
With out trust and respect in your relationship, I doubt that she loves you. You guys need a serious talk, if you want to really get to the bottom of your relationship and solve it.
Just dump her already. she’s a jealous psycho control freak, and you’ll never be happy with her. She knows she’s in the wrong – but is trying very hard to bully you anyway.
First, YOU didn’t hurt your GF. Your EX hurt her! Your EX hurt YOU too!
Learn something from this. When you break up, you do not send love letters to your EX. When you have a GF, you do not contact your EX for any reason. There is simple respect in relationships. Telling LIES is very disrespectful. You would have been better to ask your GF what to do to send your EX a message, so she felt better. This would have been much better than what you did. Women are very injured when their guy tells them lies. Very little can ever fix this. Your GF making you suffer is not doing anything good for you or her. This is just punishment. You need to have a serious talk with your GF. Show her this question that you have written and try to work out something. If she keeps telling you how you have to PROVE to her this or that, then she is just stuck in the suffering mode. Both of you need to climb out of this hole that your EX made. Either do it or break up. You do not need an unstable GF. You also do not need to be trying to prove your worth to her. If she can not get past this with both of your strengths together, then you need to break up with her. And if you do break up, NEVER, EVER go back to that EX who did this. Do you understand?? There are more things to write here, but I have no idea what is really happening. So this is my opinion for now.
p.s. You are almost in a situation with your GF as if you have just broken up with her. There are some websites which explain "how to get your girlfriend back". Read and learn the psychology of attraction and try what they say with your GF. It might stop all this nonsense from ruining what you still have.
Okay well if she is saying she is attracted to a guy friend then why shouldn’t she be in the wrong too. You didn’t really do anything wrong. Im a girl and I know it can be tough when guys talk to their ex girlfriends but honestly if there is trust and you two really care about each other then let it go. if it was only once a while ago and you apologized then there really shouldn’t be a problem. if you can’t trust each other then their is really no point because a relationship is built on trust. Hopefully this helped a bit. Good luck! : )
Rough stuff.
You both care about each other a lot so that’s the most important part. The lack of trust is something that needs to be directly addressed rather that ‘waited out’. I’m fairly certain you have explained in detail that you never meant to send the text in order to get back together with your ex and that you just wanted to maintain a friendship. As true as that may be, it doesn’t change the fact that you were lying about it and by the ex sending her the note you pretty much got all credibility ripped away. Your gf now needs to realize something though. You didn’t go back to your ex at any point in time during your relationship with your present gf. That alone should tell her that you have made your choice and she’s what you want. Perhaps you need to decide what’s important to you. Maintaining a friendship with your ex might not allow you to continue what you have with your present gf. Are you willing to make that sacrifice?
You guys need to be straight up with each other. You need to sit down and lay it all out. Ask each other what needs to be done to move forward. You guys need to **** or get off the pot so to speak. Either she needs to take the risk and be with you or admit to herself that she won’t ever be able to trust you and get out of the relationship. If she can’t make that choice then you might have to be the one that does. Tell her that neither of you are happy in your relationship the way it is presently and the marriage is a mental band aid of sorts. (Over commitment as a way of showing the ultimate form of promising yourself to someone)
It’ll take time for sure… but if you two are done for and are just going to spend the next 6 months to a year beating each other up and dragging each other through the mud to find out that it’s over… well that just seems like a big waste of time and emotional energy. So cut off all the fat and get down to business.
Best of luck
Dogggggg she wanted yu bak cause her “friend” that she had a crush on probably just wanted her as a boooty call and she wanted more but he didn’t. And guys will be guys. I wud say 3/4ths of guys are only as faithful as there options.. Probably even more.. And even some of the ones that have options but don’t sleep around want 2 there just some kinda barrier keeping them from it. Stds, scared of there girlfriend, pregnancy, ect. Oka now dump your slut gf buy some condoms and have funn marry wen ur about late 30′s early 40′s.