I think I may have borderline personality disorder. My marriage is a mess. Is there any hope of saving it?
I have not been diagnosed yet or anything but the descriptions of this disorder fit me almost exactly. Especially feeling abandoned & unloved to an overwhelming degree because of minor things. I got it in my head that my husband didnt love me therefore I should not love him. So I treated him like dirt even though I still loved him to death. I made him so miserable that he left me & he says he needs time to think things through to decide if he will come back. I’m trying to get counseling but its not easy where I live. I guess I just need to know if I should even hold on to any hope that I can get treatment and save my marriage. My husband is a wonderful man who does not deserve the way I have treated him & what he has had to put up with from me.
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Tagged with: amp • Borderline Disorder • borderline personality disorder • counseling • dirt • Fit • Guess • love • marriage • unloved • wonderful man
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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I have been a counselor for some years now and I say that you and your husband need your own individual counseling before you can get back together. He has wounds to heal as well as you and it is more difficult to sort that out when you are together. It’s best to get your own individual counseling now for your sake and so that he can have his time to heal and not feel pressured to make everything work out. Don’t pressure him for a reunification. Take time for yourself to heal and get better and in time he may be able to do the same for you.
i dont know the answer. i was married to someone like you. never heard such foul language in my life, things thrown at me, hitting me and telling me after something stupid that i didn’t love her even though if you looked at my past behavior it was clear i loved her to death. she left me actually but there is no way I’d take her back now that I realize how much i was abused. it’s probably best to move on and get help because after therapy you may not be the same person and your current husband might not even like what you’ve become or you even like him after you heal.
A marriage is always worth saving. You said you love him to death, tell him that. Tell him your concerns honestly and openly. I am sure he still loves you and would appreciate it if you talked to him and let him into your head.
oyou got a problem all right. It seems to be of your own doing .See a professional and dont diagnose yourself .Why do you treat your husband like this ?
I am a divorced (21 years) 17 year sober alcoholic. I mention both because:
You sound like my ex. She left me and then did the same thing to the next guy.
Speaking from my substance abuse problems you have stated one of the key steps. That is you seem to realize what the problem is.
Now go get help from someone that has the education to help you. It is unlikely a pro is surfing thru these questions.
You definitely shouldn’t give up on your marriage. You know there’s a problem and that’s a great sign.
The only thing you can do is confront the problem head-on.
Good luck
Show hi this! and ask for his forgiveness…..and then show him the woman you are and want to be.
Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman…..giving all your love to just one man…..you’ll have Bad times…and he’ll have good times…doing things that you don’t understand.
If you love him you’ll forgive him.
Even though he’s hard to understand
And if you love him, aww, be proud of him
Cuz after all he’s just a man
Stand by your man, give him two arms to cling to
And somethin’ warm to come to when nights are cold and lonely
Stand by your man and show the world you love him
Keep givin’ all the love you can
Stand by your man
Stand by your man and show the world you love him
Keep givin’ all the love you can
Stand by your man.
You need to go to both God, and your husband, and ask for forgiveness. God loves both of you, and He hates divorce. Be reconciled and at peace. Go to church and draw near to God and to each other. Jesus died on the Cross for our sins, and qualifying us to Heaven. Heaven is wonderful beyond descriptions, and forever without end. Never, never, miss Heaven for anything of this temporay and troubled world. Best wishes for happiness and Heaven!
I have borderline. Some of what you’re describing sounds like it. You feel terrible after you yell at someone, and might even hurt yourself as punishment, right? It’s not your fault, anyone who tells you it is doesn’t know enough about the disease. email me if you’re interested in my advice.
By the way, I have a boyfriend who loves me and supports me, even through my rough patches. Explain to your husband what is happening, tell him you’re getting help and that you’re sorry. This is a fixable marriage, if this is the only issue.
It’s good that you have understood that you were wrong with your husband. I think that’s enough. You said that you are counseling. Continue it. My best suggestion is – Talk to your husband freely and tell him everything you did and now what you think. I think it would be OK. Best of luck.