WOULD YOU STAY WITH A MAN IF HE NEVER MAKE LOVE TO YOU.IF YOU BEEN MARRIED TO HIM FOR 36 YRS
well it like this we have been married for 36 yrs,but now there no making love or anything,it seem like i am always the one to approach him ,i am the one who always trying to be romantic,he never show any feeling about it.when i try to talk to him about it,he say it turn him .off,but for the last 15 yrs nothing,he treat me like i am his house keeper or just someone to take care of him,,but there is 20 yr differencece in our ages,,i don’t know if that it or not,but he will tak to me about it,i have try to get us help ,,but he wants nothong ti do with it, and get’s very mad if i suggested it to him,he said i stupid,,to pay money for this kind of help and he don’t need any help.he, have try variety of things and pills but he still show no interest in it what so ever,i even try play dressing up, but ,,he tell me to get dress before some one come to our door,….my husband is 74 yrs old and i am 54 yrs old,i feel like he either don’t care or he do not have the desire any more.i have try to get him to get away for a nice week -end of romance,,but he say thats a waste of money, when he has his own house.so now i don’t know what to do.i know, i took vows with this man,and i know sex is not the most important thing in a reationhip..and i know i am his wife,but this has gone to far,he is very protected,and processive..and he watch me evey where i go and what i do even when i am just in my own yard.,if i go visited some one he times me,he will not go with me, but he time how long i stay at my friend home.he never want to go anywhere just stay home,and most time he sleep..as long as he knows i am inside of the house..,,so i hope you all understand ,i have so much feeling right now and i am human and in need of compassion and passion,and i desire the touch of ones love and to feel that love back when it is giving, but i feel like i am the one giving and recieving nothing back,,i have never mess up on this in all the yrs we have been married,,but some where there got to be a thin line drawn,,i hope you can understand how i feel and try to put yourself in my place,,what would you really do.and how would you really feel about this kind of relationship
please.i don’t wany any one to miss undersand ,i hav a very hight sex drive,,age has nothing to do with mine,and i am not saying we never had sex in 36 yrs,,what i am saying is for the last past 15 yrs,there has been no sex ..or anythingno kissing unless i do the kissing,..and as far as the abuse i have live with that for 36 yrs,..both mentally and physically.but he act like i am his slave not his wife..and i have try to get help..but what good is it if i am the one going and not him??as far as love,,yes i love him,but i am not in love with him any more,to me he more like a room mate not a husband ,we don’t even share the samebed room any more.
please.i don’t wany any one to miss undersand ,i hav a very hight sex drive,,age has nothing to do with mine,and i am not saying we never had sex in 36 yrs,,what i am saying is for the last past 15 yrs,there has been no sex ..or anythingno kissing unless i do the kissing,..and as far as the abuse i have live with that for 36 yrs,..both mentally and physically.but he act like i am his slave not his wife..and i have try to get help..but what good is it if i am the one going and not him??as far as love,,yes i love him,but i am not in love with him any more,to me he more like a room mate not a husband ,we don’t even share the samebed room any more.
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Tagged with: compassion • Desire • making love • Man Love • money • ones love • passion • pills • romance • sleep • Stupid • Thin Line • vows • waste of money
Filed under: How To Get Him Back
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He sounds depressed and impotent. One goes with the other. And, anger goes with both. A lot of men would rather do or say anything rather than admit impotency.
He’s also old. He’s 74. He’s tired. You are going through menopause and are probably as horny as you ever have been. I know, I am your age too. Menopause make the libido go crazy.
Boytoys and bimboys aren’t just a myth. They are the most important accessory for any older single woman with means.
For the rest, I don’t know that there is any pat answer, it’s all so personal.
I personally would rather have a lifelong relationship with the man I love and adore, even without sex, than a life without him. And, if he were unable to perform sexually, I would never abandon him. His penis didn’t make him the man I love, his heart and mind did.
Have some chocolate sister, you have earned it.
oj boze.
this sound so familliar to most people your age.
i know many people in similar situations,
for some reason some men seem to be very controling and possesive and think its okay.
there is nothing anyone can say to make you make a desicion….
its up to you…. i think that yes the 20 year age difference is a factor….
but you’ve been with him so long….
just listen to your heart if you think that you can leave him, if it will truly make you happy. its totally up to you………
i would not want a man like that, i need my own space, i need to go places and not be told how long to be somewhere and ask where to go…….
good luck
It sounds like you are not happy together and it may be time to move on!
at his age, most people have lost their sex drive and just really want companionship.
His butt would be out in a week. Or in my case, her butt.
i did not read that srry!!! short attention span!!! get rid of him!!!
Ah, the benefits of marriage. =/
if your not happy then i think that you and he should move on.
He’s 74, perhaps he is having a little problem.
without reading your details…..just your question. if i was married to someone for 36 years without sex….i would wonder and be amazed at our 36 year long relationship. why the sudden need for sex after 36 FREEKIN YEARS WITHOUT IT>? did you get hit in the head or something?
He finally realized that sex is not good, when u realize that too u will be happy with your self for ever YAY lol
Tell him, if you want to have sex, take it slow, cause at your age(Im not calling you old, not at all, but you need to slow down) you need to not go fast.
I thnk I would find someone who could fill the void your feeling. I don’t believe in cheating but if your husband is not performing his husband duties then maybe you should find a friend that will.
Come To Butthead
I don’t know if your husband has a physical ailment that keeps him from feeling urges but if you can’t talk to him about it then it is definitely a problem. If you still love him and the relationship is basically good (not abusive or overly possessive) then maybe you can settle for friendship/companionship for a while. It is hard when your feelings confuse the facts – maybe make a list of "to stay or to go" pros and cons. It might sound cold or it might help you to remember why you love him and help you push past it or figure out the best course of action.
If I were you I would insist that both of you go to a counsellor to help you work out any problems – better communication is always a good thing! Good luck, I hope things work out for the best.
at the risk of sounding crude buy your self some toys.
i’ll bet when you are 74 they will be forgotten in a drawer somewhere,or you have sold them at your yard sale.
parts of the human body just ware out in time.
to have and to hold ,love ,honor and cherish till death do we part.
mean anything to you?
age is something you take in stride.
edit;
liligirl you have a better way of communicating than i do .
you are blessed with knowledge.
36 years is a long time to be married PERIOD! lol Let alone having a loveless marriage. Which is the main reason why people should spend enough time courting each other, seeing if you have things in common because one day sex goes out the window! And unfortunately, it appears that your day has come.
What really chaps my hide is the audacity of your husband. He monitors your comings and goings, won’t meet you half-way, yet won’t go to counseling either….what’s up with that? If I read correctly, you typed that you two don’t even live in the same household anymore. He has his nerve!
It looks like you need to get your rear in gear, figure out what YOU want and be prepared to issue that ultimatum. Your husband is definitely not being considerate of your feelings. If you don’t take control of this situation, you may be destined to spend another ____ years in need of "compassion and passion". At the very minimum seek counseling for yourself.
Maybe he’s ashamed he cant get an erection. Get his tesosterone levels checked.
Have you tried going to counselling? You could try a sex therpaist. Maybe at his age, he has lost his libido? If he is unwilling to seek help, then I think you should consider moving on and getting a separation or a divorce. You are not happy together. Lincoln freed the slaves! Don’t let him boss you around. Maybe his bossing you around is just a smoke screen or a ploy to keep you away from him, to hide the real reason for his unwillingness to have sex. He may now be impotent.
Sorry for being you and there is not much you can do about it. You may treasure that 36 years of married and hold on and living that way or you can just move on.
Lives like a bird in the case is no life at all
I am kind of suprise, My girl friend only 48 and she is not much into sex. You are 54 and you are still keep on going. For awhile i though woman that age starting not to interest in sex.
Good luck with your decision and hope that you can make the right one or find a solution to keep both of you together.