wedding date dilemma what would you do and why?
For our wedding my FH & I must give both of our families 9 months to 1 year notice to book travel and save money ETC… Also we live in the MD/DC area where if you do not book at least a year in advance you will not have a day
My FH sister is getting married in West Africa in August of 2009 since my FH & I have to take time from work in August we decided to make our wedding date in October. My FH dad has since informed me that his son should have known due to health reasons and the temperature in this region, (he is coming from West Africa) he can not travel to America in October he wants us to push the wedding until April.
Also if he were coming in April he could stay for 5 months and visit family etc… The trip is costly so he wants to make it worth while. I really want to get married and live with my husband. Having a civil marriage and a wedding ceremony later on is not an option. I feel the wedding is not about me but the joining of two families so I want our parents there. The hall said we have until Thursday to change the contract and is holding both dates. So would you do October 2009 without his folks or April 2010 with his folks? MY FH and I are posting this to see what outsiders think.
a civil cermony with a renewal of vows is not an option
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Tagged with: 5 months • 9 months • amp • April • book travel • civil cermony • civil marriage • dad • dc area • dilemma • fh • health reasons • Live 105 • marriage • money • outsiders • parents • renewal of vows • two families • wedding ceremony • west africa
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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In the interest of bringing both families together, I would wait. It doesn’t seem fair that your FH’s father wouldn’t get to be there. I know you are anxious to get married and live with your FH, but it’s only 6 months. Besides, that will give you more time for planning so you can make sure everything goes perfectly on your big day.
Sounds like, if you’re truly thinking about family, you’re getting married in April. Congratulations!
Since you have the option with the church, I would wait til April so that both families can be there. It seems like it would be the best choice and would keep everyone happy.
Good Luck!
If you really believe it is the joining of two families (and I couldnt agree with you more) then you have to wait until the April. In the grand scheme of things, it will not feel like that much longer.
April 2010 for two reasons: 1 – you are family oriented and it would be a shame for his parents to miss their son’s wedding. 2 – it would give ALL of the family more time to save up and make their arrangements.
Well if ur FH doesnt have a problem with his father not being there then y not just go ahead and do it in October. Its his father so he should have the most input about the situation.
You would also have to think about his fathers feelings about about not being there.
Will he be mad that the ceremony went on without him?
I also live in Maryland and sometimes it doesnt get real could until about January and sometimes later than that. Last year in MD was not that cold. He could make his trip worthwhile by staying 2 months instead of 5. I just booked my date for next July and I can tell u getting a spring summer date @ this point is hard.
Sine family means a lot to you I would wait till april of 2010. I think that you would regret not having his parents at the wedding,
Frankly, unless you have your wedding in July or August, I don’t think the climate in DC is ever going to be suitable for someone from West Africa. (In fact, having lived here for a quarter of a century, I’d argue that April’s often colder than October.) The family visits are definitely a factor to consider, but if they’re the only argument in favor of pushing the date back, let him know that you’ll regret his absence but will be happy to welcome him as husband and wife when he is able to make the trip.
I’d push it back to April, if it were me. I couldn’t imagine getting married without one of our parents or brother/sister there. That’s just me though. There are 3 people who I am planning my wedding date around. My brother who is in the National Guard and will be back in the regular Army at the time of the wedding (we’re really close, and my dad isn’t part of the picture, plus his children, my nephews are my ringbearers, he’s a GM, and his wife is a BM); my best friend (we’ve been friends since we were like 12); and my aunt who is one of my best friends, and the mother of my flower girl. If it’s really important to you guys to have him there, just push it back. Besides, DC is VERY pretty in the spring. (Granted I’ve never seen it in the fall to compare it though…)
I would be mad about it. I might just say April 2009. 7 months is enough time to save and plan. Who says you have to give 9 months to a year? You never know what may change in terms of gas prices etc. He can stay 4 or 5 months and then head back to Africa for the other wedding in August.
Or
YOu can live together and wait until April 2010. It is not that far away. One extra year is not a big deal in the terms of the rest of your lives together.
I would have a quiet civil ceremony without the folks(let them listen in by phone if you like), and have the formal wedding ceremony on the date that’s convenient for them. Don’t hire a hall for the civil; no reception, no registry, and you and your parents tell no one about the wedding. Wait until your formal ceremony for all of that. If that solution will suit his father, it might just solve your dilemma.
I would go ahead with your wedding plans and maybe have a small private "renewal" with his parents in the spring
can your parents travel with you to the sister’s wedding in africa? you and your man could join his sister and her man and make it a double wedding ceremony? that way everyone’s parents are there, his son has no travel stress, and it would be a beautiful way to bring both families together and the two couples closer! you are going anyway so why not have a beautiful unique wedding – even if the double wedding thing won’t work you could get have yoru ceremony immediately after their ceremony ?
whatever you decide i wish you happiness.
Sounds like your having an April 2010 wedding! Congratulations!
Think of it this way – both families, more time to plan, more time to save!
Good Luck!