Honestly it’s prolly my fault more than anybody’s.We had a few problems,ones that I did nothing about to actually fix.I was lazy,and comfortable,and took the most important thing in my life for granted.I wish wish wish wish wiiiiiiiiiiiiish I had done something sooner.I really love this girl with my whole heart,mind,body and soul.I would do ANYTHING to bring her home.She made the choice to leave,yet she is the one who will not stop calling or coming over.I really like that she does this,but I also know she wants to try to be my friend.If I wasn’t so selfish I would do that,but I want more from her.She sleeps in my bed almost every night,but every morning when she leaves,it’s like breaking up with her all over again.I would bleed my last drop of blood,just to make her smile,but I feel she is taking advantage of my love for her,and my undying devotion to her.I wish I knew what to do to bring her back,I would do it in a heartbeat.I have found that telling her how I feel does nothing.Letting her know that I would change anything for her does nothing.Begging for another chance does nothing.Trying to make her jealous kinda gets a reaction,but not enough to make a lick of difference.The only tactic that has not been used is cutting her off from me.I have tried like 4 times,and she just will call over and over until I answer,or just show up at my house at like 5am.I think by cutting her off she may miss me enough to come home to me.She has a new BF already.It wouldn’t take her long because she is just so beautiful,and such a cool person to be around.But this guy doesn’t know her the way I do.Nobody does.Nobody knows me the way she does.I know what makes her happy,and how to take care of her.I know that she isn’t serious about this new guy,and she hasn’t had sex with him,but I’m sooooooooooooo scared of where her heart is.I know she loves me still,and that she truly is "the one" and my immortal soulmate,but that still doesn’t bring her home to me.As I type this I start to get teary(I’m a pussy),it’s been almost 2 months,and honestly I’m still just as bad as I was at the very start of all this nightmare.I just don’t know what to do.I treasure every waking moment with her,and even the unwaking moments that I share with her when we sleep together.I know its stalkerish of me,but when she lays beside me,in my arms,I stay awake for hours sometimes,just watching her perfect face sleep,and to try to hold on to her like she is still mine for as long as possible.It really sux because when I do sleep,it’s always the best sleep when I am next to her,but when I wake up,for maybe about 1 second or so,I forget she she belongs to somebody else and it’s like she is home again,so the pain that I feel constantly now washes away for that 1 second,and I actually have peace,but then I remember that she isn’t mine anymore,and I don’t even have the tears to cry about it anymore,I simply die inside instead.I just wish I knew what needed to be done to bring her home to me,and to forget about this new guy once and for all.Any advice would be VERY helpful.I just can’t go thru the rest of my life knowing she is out there somewhere,without me.I feel like if I become her friend,just so that I can still see her,thats all I will ever be to her,and I’m NOT ok with that!I also feel if I cut her off,I’m gonna do it the wrong way and I will lose her forever.THAT CAN’T HAPPEN!I know that every time I have tried to cut her off,she won’t let me.She always makes her way back into my life,lots of times,the very same day.The first time I just didn’t answer the phone all night and then all morning.I had 27 missed calls that day from her.She just showed up at my house at like 6am that day.She still has a key I’m sure,and she tried to take my xbox 360 hostage until I would talk to her.The second time I tried this at work during the day,She called every minute,on the minute,for like 1 whole hour.The she got wise and called my work,and I answered.The third time was just a couple of days ago,when I caught her in a lie about her new BF.She called me at like 5am and told me she really missed me,and just needed to hear my voice.She said I was truly her best friend,and she isn’t sure if she can deal with me not being in her life anymore.Not that she wants to come home,she just wants to make sure I’m there if she needs me I guess.The final time I tried was just yesterday,and she had me back on the phone in about 3 hours.Then she came over last night and stayed the night.We get along so well,and I know we both still love eachother very much,I just don’t know if thats enough to bring her home to me.Sorry about writing this book for you to read,I’m kinda a hopeless romantic,and can go off about this subject for hours and hours.Have you ever been in this situation before? Do you know anybody that has?If you have I have to propose this to you like I have everybody else I have spoke to on this matter.I am willing to offer anybody who can give me the advice that brings her back 00 worth of credit to best buy.I know thats insane to offer this like it is some sort of contest,but I am out of ideas.I am crazy I guess,but I’m a fool in love,and well funded. :)


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