Well…I had a bad week last weekend regarding my SBTX hubby bcuz I guess I saw him and I got very emotional. Its been over a year and the pain has eased up, but yet I struggle sometimes. Well I was talking to my dad and I was telling him about my SBTX sexual behavior. About how ever since he’s been back from Iraq he hasn’t been the same. For instance, I told him how I find him on Adult Friend Finder with a pic of his "tool" and how he was emailing girls asking for 1 on 1 sex. And how he talked to some and had them calling my house for weeks. Only someone in their right minds wouldn’t stoop so low. He told me that he is suffering from a sex addiction. At first I thought he was nuts, but you know how sometimes your life flashes before your eyes, like all the signs quickly come into play. All the signs were there but I didn’t see it. I thought my husband hated me but he doesn’t. For instance, he would say that I deserve someone better than him, he left me by saying he wanted a divorce over the phone, the fact that his family doesn’t know him, I thought I did but I don’t. He said that he fell out of love with me, but I figure the reason why is because he is deeply lost and broken and maybe he is using sex as a way to feel better. Maybe the sex addiction is confusing him for his love for me. It stills hurts back its disgusting. I never thought he would have a sex addiction, but something is seriously wrong with him and after the humiliated, the pain, and the hurt, I deeply concerned for him. All I can do is pray for this pain, and forgive, even though he has hurt me. He needs help and he doesn’t look like himself. I know he has slept around, but there’s no telling with how many women. I know he did me wrong, he feels like I deserved. Its like he wants nothing to do with me, but my father says he moved away from everyone because he is ashamed of what he is doing and he loves me that is why he left so he wouldn’t hurt me anymore. What do I do? Im still deeply in love with him, but I have to live my life, Its like he’s pushing me away and he wants this divorce so he can pretty much sleep around. People keep saying once he wakes up and tries to get back with me, its going to be too late. What do I do? Should I even care? The way that he looked at me the other weekend, he looked at me like I was so beautiful, but he got mad bcuz I introduced him as my ex and when I said this my father in law, he said well if you’re going to be like that, then he is your ex father in law. Comments like that. I still care, what do I do?


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