I wrote a song and i need ur opinion on it?
(Verse 1)
I’m standing by the mirror
Starring at my reflection with horror
(I thought you never knew)
You got me zipping on a poison
My body is numb, my blood is frozen
(But I kept praying for you)
(Chorus)
But I’m packing my suitcase now
And I’m ready to head home
I wish I never lost control
Things would have been normal
And this awkward atmosphere
Would disappear
(To a place better off as unknown)
I wish we had a second chance
But let’s face it you killed our romance
Things will never be the same
When you got me all to blame
(I’m the one who roams alone)
(Verse 2)
I’m looking at you form afar
You turn every head but they don’t know who are
(But I do)
You are a devil with a smile
You are a creepy feeling that crumbles inside
(But I kept praying for you)
(Chorus)
But I’m packing my suitcase now
And I’m ready to head home
I wish I never lost control
Things would have been normal
And this awkward atmosphere
Would disappear
(To a place better off as unknown)
I wish we had a second chance
But let’s face it you killed our romance
Things will never be the same
When you got me all to blame
(I’m the one who roams alone)
(Bridge)
You are darkness
You are my evil little madness
Like a shotgun in my head
I’m afraid you’d kill me
That’s why I’m not going to bed
i think i’m going to make it a screamo rock kinda song…
Related Information:
Tagged with: atmosphere • bridge • creepy feeling • darkness • devil • horror • Lost • madness • mirror • Packing • poison • Reflection • romance • second chance • shotgun • smile • suitcase • verse 1 • verse 2
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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I like it, but I wouldn’t go with screamo, definitely not screamo. When I was reading it I was imagining it being played with a single guitar, played slowly sort of. Maybe some quiet drums in the background. Just really, don’t go with screamo. Also some of the lines you need to add like one more word to make it rhyme more.
Like this one:
‘And this awkward atmosphere
Would disappear’
Change it to:
And this awkward atmosphere
Would slowly disappear
I really like it though, you’re really talented with the writing.
very nice i really like it
If the world needs anything, it’s more contrived and poorly written emo songs.
watevs
wow u r talented !
Oooh, I like it ^.^
It sucks
its good
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I really like it, it makes someone think, good job
I would but it on itunes, but it would also depend on the voice singing it
cool, clever, captivating
yesyesyes.
i loved the lyrics.
i could basically hear the song in my head.
i’m thinking like an alesana / bmth / the devil wears prada type of thing. >.<
i was impressed
i like it:]]
I like it, except I found the bridge extremely dark
They’re good lyrics- don’t ruin them by going crazy witha rock song and a ton of screaming. Make it rock but not heavy like Light On By David Cook
Wow dude you got talent..I would enjoy hearing that song. 5/5
you should really make a vid. so we can hear the song the rythme ect., id llike to hear it.