WHY don't straight girls understand this?
…Just answer me this.
Why is it that a large portion of straight girls looooove gay men, but then when it comes to lesbians, they’ll freak and begin to flatter themselves by saying, "What if she likes meeee?" Why are we seen as such threats?
And the same goes to straight men who freak out at gay men, though they seem to engage in a more physically violent or outward way, or even keep the "psst, psst, he likes me" talk to themselves.
Because, GOD FORBID a disgusting dyke chick find you attractive or admire you, and you feel the threatened need to shut them out of your life no matter what sort of pleasant experience you’ve had previously, and add to the gossip circle when one hasn’t even given you a second chance.
I can’t even talk to a straight girl without her snickering to another girl or starting sh*t about how she’s uncomfortable or feels that I’ve been checking her out, simply because I’d like to get closer or talk, or become friends. Since when can’t one talk to another without suspectability of attraction, if that?
I’ve never in my life met a straight girl that’s actually cool with bisexual girls or lesbians and doesn’t find them "creepy" or scare-mongers herself into thinking she’s somehow universally attractive to every chick with short hair and who likes to play sports. I know that the supportive straight chicks DO exist, but most of the time, they’ll go on a half-a$$ scale and only talk to gay men. And there are a very few that DO support bis and les chicks, but would someone on Yahoo! Answers please tell me; WHERE IN HELL ARE THEY ? 
-END RANT.- *sigh*
—
I’m in an incredibly bad mood due to yet another failed attempt/ruined friendship upon a straight girl finding out that I’m gay, when I’ve held less than ten conversations with her, tops. Potential acquaintance rate is now down to zilch once again. These past 3 years have just not been my years, eh? (:
So, my real 2 questions here that I would like to ask you:
1. How do I advert stupid girls thinking I like them when I do not? And even if I happened to fancy them, how can I avoid being "outed" when I’ve displayed completely mellow behavior, only to be released by my sexuality?
2. How can I possibly engage myself, as a semi-open lesbian, into "normal" female activities (such as changing for gym class, participating in class plays that involve male-female romance, etc.) without experiencing said awkwardness or facing constant confrontation?
When will my reign of shame end?!
(inb4 "Why do you only try to make friends with straight girls?". Because trust me, I don’t.)
And if you want to know why I’m so upset at the moment: because a female acquaintance told me that she "could never be friends with" a gay girl because there was [REPORTEDLY] "always" a "chance" that the girl would "like her", and that "our friendship just wouldn’t work that way". And YES, this was in reference and response to ME, since a family member who goes to the same school made a certain commentary that outed me to her.
WOAH, I just realized how much I wrote. That was WAY more than 2-3 questions.
SORRY, GUYS.
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Tagged with: acquaintance • bad mood • bisexual girls • chick • chicks • dyke • freak • gay men • god • gossip • large portion • lesbians • matter what sort • psst • quot • second chance • short hair • straight girl • straight girls • straight men • yahoo answers • zilch
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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I have to say that as a straight girl myself I’m not surprised at this treatment you have received. Many straight girls are lesbophobes, they love gay men because they see them as basically women but in a man’s body. So they get the privelege of hanging around with a man but who has fashion sense and talks long hours with them. They’re ‘safe’. But the thought of hanging out with a lesbian scares them! Why? They’re afraid the lesbian might like them. And that would put them in an uncomfortable position. Also, about what people would say if they hang around lesbians. It’s not about you, it’s about their own fears and prejudices.
Now as a straight person I take offense that you believe that we are all like this. In the summer before my freshman year of college, I met this girl who was a lesbian and very butch. We were in this summer program with other students in the school. I remember that when we went to lunch I had no one to sit with (I didn’t know anybody). And I’m very shy too. I was basically standing there like an idiot in the middle of the cafeteria. No one invited me to their table. This girl did. She had a guy and a girl (the girl was straight and they were best friends) with them who were her friends. I sat next to her and was happy to be eating with somebody! I could care less if she liked girls. And I NEVER, NEVER thought she liked me. I would never reject the friendship of a woman because she liked other women. It doesn’t matter to me.
For your first question you cannot do anything about it. If these girls think you’re going to like them then you really can’t do anything about it. For your other question you have to accept the fact that a lot of straight women aren’t going to hang with you. And that’s okay. Try going to LGTB meetings or gay-straight alliances meeting. Believe me, you would soon find friends who accept who you are and I’m sure that you would also make straight female friends. You just have to be patient and perhaps ( I don’t know your age) try being friends with women who are above 23. Young girls think the world revolves around them.
I’m sorry it sucks for you. I know how hard it is to make friends and cannot even imagine how it must be like for you in this particular situation. People are jerks and you have to get used to it. But this too shall pass and when it’s all over you would make true friends. Think of this as a weeding out the bad people out of your life.
Because you are lusting them and want to rape them.
Treat these little idiots like the closet cases they really are. Some day you’ll see them in a gay bar or on gay.com or they will tell you that they had a huge crush on you back in school! Hahaha – it HAPPENS A LOT!
I would say to them flatly, "Sorry, you’re not my type – don’t flatter yourself. I only check out HOT women. YOU look like you could be sniffing luggage at the airport."
Or just tell them to stop faking and just come out of the closet. Their hateful harrassment is transparent and they obviously are dying for a woman’s lick.
If the girls are nice to you, then be nice to them and let them know that lesbians don’t want ALL girls any more than straight girls want every guy they see.
I know some straight women and they are not mean or disrespectful to gays and lesbians. If someone is comfortable with their sexuality, then they treat you with respect to yours.
Ignorance kills. I’ll bet some of these girls are too stupid to even know what that means.
Are you familiar with the expression "There’s nowt so queer as folk."?
It’s Old English and it means: "There’s nothing as strange as people."
Simply put, don’t waste your time trying to figure out how narrow-minded and self-absorbed people work..you’re so much better off without them, trust me.
Take care!
I feel your pain. Sometimes I have similar problems, I think lot’s of people are just so uneducated about LGBT’s and are homophobic. I think, depending on the person, you should explain to them in your own words what being gay REALLY means to you. You should also try and make it fully clear that you don’t like them/every girl you meet and that it’s still possible to be friends, you can give examples of straight guys and girls who are good friends and how they don’t just like everyone. You can also try to ask them if they have any questions because most people do.
You should also just be aware that some people can be a little sensitive in situations like changing rooms or whatever. Example, you can change in one of the stalls at the bathrooms like some others do but don’t go too out of your way for them. Also, as hard as it is, you have to try and be confident. There are SO many extra situations that you face as an LGBT and you just have to learn to handle them. And, say, if straight people think you’d be uncomfortable with something like guy-girl romance you just have to show them you have no problem with that.
It can be really hard at first so just try to surround yourself with support in anyway possible and you can get through it. Good Luck
all the friendly straight girls are hangin wit me here in vancouver. you’re welcome to join us
sorry, you’ve had such bad luck :\
the only thing i can recommend for preventing the loss of friendships is: when you come out to them or they find out, make it very clear that you are not interested in them and that being friends with her comes before being attracted to women (even if it doesn’t haha).
I know EXACTLY how you feel, and it makes me livid.
1. In my situation i usually am straight out with the woman tell her im a lesbian, and i sense that she feels uncomfortable or thinks I’m trying to hit on her, i le her know from the get-go the i am not interested in her in that way.
2. I don’t know, i don’t think there’s anything you can do than to be yourself. It’s the people who make it awkward for you the ones who need help.
It’s like straight guys.
They love gay woman. Just fawn over them. But when it comes to gay men, they just freak out because it’s the same sex and they see it as gross, when it’s not. I personally have nothing wrong with any sex. I’m bi.