i realized i write alot. whatcha think of this one?
funny part is i don’t feel like this lol.
and its kinda long. but critique please?
Your world has crumbled the pieces now lost
The trust that you had has all been destroyed
You pick your self up off the ground but at what cost?
The one you once loved is the one you avoid
Your trust in anything has faded out
Like when summer fades to fall
Feelings fade too and now fill you with doubt
The happiness you used to feel is so hard now to recall
At one point you gave him your heart
Now to have feelings of nothing but regret
As the rest of the world rips you apart
A life changing event you will surely never forget.
You realize trust is the strongest bond
When broken you feel like nothing will ever be the same
Leaving you no chance to respond
And all you can ask is who is to blame?
Why trust again and risk the pain
When it’s not even worth your sorrow
And you think to yourself will feelings remain?
Or will things change as you question tomorrow.
You ask your self if you should forgive
But you know deep down how much your heart was broken
You look at yourself and ask if this is how you want to live
You look at him now and the words that have been spoken
Its hard to forgive and give a second chance
When that’s already been give so many times before
You have to decide if this is for real or if it was some silly romance
Or If after everything it was worth getting your heart ripped out onto the floor
And if my feelings for him really are stronger then even words can explain
You wonder if he can be the one on which you depend
If you can ever learn to trust him them again
Or if this is just perhaps the end….
Related Information:
Tagged with: critique • Doubt • feelings • Funny • funny part • happiness • heart • lol • rest of the world • risk • romance • second chance • sorrow • summer fades
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!




It really nice and good!!!!!!!…..☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻
I think it is real good what grade are you in.
…wow. I’m speechless. That is some good poetry, the rhyme scheme is a little off, but that’s no issue. This almost made me cry. You see, last year i broke up with my first boyfriend who i didn’t even like. I was pretty pissed at him for being a liar and he was constantly touching me. we were 12, we were dumb. I’m 13 now. But wow that’s good. I still have paranoia and don’t like to be touched, squished in small places with people. I’m afraid of the dark ect. But anyways, You definitely have talent!!!
I like it…it’s good
Well done! You have a great command of words, structure, and imagery. The flow of the poem was interesting and detailed. Wow, this didn’t come from personal experience? If not, you have an amazing talent. To be able to conjure up such emotion is a complete skill. I think you may have a promising future in writing, if that is your aim. Thank you for sharing, and being open to criticism. Write on!
IT IS REALLY COOL !!!!!!!!