He’s Torn Between Leaving And Staying: How Do I Make Him Stay?
He’s Torn Between Leaving And Staying:
My boyfriend and I broke up less than two days ago. I love him more than anything in the world, but I made our relationship very difficult because of my emotional instabilities.
I will do anything to get him back.
I am going to counseling to deal with my issues (they apply to my life in general, not just to my relationship with him), I’m reading self-help books, and I’m giving him as much space and time as he needs. I’m not forcing him to come back, but I hope more than anything that he does.
There really is no one else for me, and I think that I can really make him happy once I become a better person. But I want to be a better person not just for him, but for myself, for everyone else I love.
How can I convince him to give me another chance? He loves me dearly, I know. He told m yesterday (he sought me out himself) that he’s miserable without me, but the thought of getting back together doesn’t make him happy either, because I hurt him so much. He hugged me for half a minute, kissed me very passionately, told me he loved me, and then said “I shouldn’t have done that.”
He’s torn between leaving and staying, and I just want him to stay, to just give me another chance to make him happy like he made me happy.
I’m leaving him completely alone so that he can make a decision on his own. I’m trying to exemplify the person I’m promising to be in the future by being supremely kind, understanding, and emotionally stable. I’m a determined person, and I really can change. Not just for his happiness, but for my own.
I even wrote a letter to him explaining how committed I am to making us work, how even if he chooses not to stay, I’ll find a way to repay him for the wonderful things he’s done to me, that I’ll love him forever (I haven’t sent it to him yet. Don’t know if I should).
But is there a way to convince him to stay, to give me a chance to make him happy? Am I doing the right thing now? I don’t want to push him, because I want him to be happy and secure in his decision. But can I convince him somehow without pushing him?
Oh and we’ve had some fantastically good times, too. We both know this. He’s just overwhelmed at the moment by the not-so-good ones. All I can think about are the happy times, and how I want to make them happen again.
Any advice for me?
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Tagged with: better person • counseling • doing the right thing • half a minute • happiness • instabilities • love • relationship • self help books • space and time • wonderful things • World 98 • Yest
Filed under: How To Get Him Back
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Just keep going to counseling and when you learn a new way to cope with your emotional issues, let him know that you are doing better and that you learned that if you _____ then it helps with your emotions and helps keep them in check. And maybe talk to a psychiatrist about getting some kind of medication? You could have a chemical imbalance that is causing some of your problems. Just give him a little time and keep telling him how you are trying to make yourself better so that your relationship can be better too. Good luck <3
You’re on the right path to keeping him. Firstly you’ve asked this question, so you’re getting there.
Secondly, you’ve got a strong positive history with him, which he can’t ignore.
All you have to do now is:
1 – be positive, ‘cos if you play your cards right, he will definitely keep coming back for more
2 – let him be free to walk away, because if he knows you’ve given him this choice, without any worry about him leaving you forever, he will realise the best decision is to stand by you.
It’s much simpler than you thought. Take care, chin up, have fun!
I think you should just give him more time. You’re doing the right thing by giving him space and I think thats the only thing you can do. You are making a brilliant effort to change and that has to count for something. I hope it works out for you.
Why should he come back? Have you changed?
First take care of you and make that change because even if I loved someone I couldn’t go back unless I saw that change in them. What would be the use? It would happen all over again.
Now, if you want to change and start a new life then I would say begin on your knees and humble yourself before the Lord and ask for forgiveness of your sins. That’s where you must begin in order to start a new life. God bless you