I’m an 18 year old guy. Here’s the story…

During most of my young childhood, I had a wonderful, loving relationship with my mom. But then it seemed, over a fairly short amount of time, that we had grown extremely far apart. My parents had a trouble marriage. At one point my mom cheated on my dad and it got to the point that they were fighting and screaming at each other every night. Then when I was about 13 years old, my mom had a near death experience with a ruptured appendix. She said that God saved her. After that, she became extremely religious and changed in many ways from her old self. For example, she used to tell me there is nothing wrong with homosexuality, but now she says that homosexuals are an abomination. By that time, my mom had quit her job and instead got up every morning and read the bible. She went to a some kind of class, like a life-coach therapeutic class. Then she said that she started to remember things from her childhood, like her dad molesting her as a girl. I’ve talked to my uncles and my grandmother about it and they said that all they remember is that my grandfather did check to see if her "cherry was broken." She then got angry with every single person in her family and cut all ties with them, even though they seemed close. Finally my parents said that they were getting a divorce. But, my mom wanted custody of me and my brother. It was a lengthy, dreadful, and expensive divorce. What pushed me over the edge was when me and my mom got into a horrible fight. We were yelling at each other and she kept getting in my face and screaming at me because I said she was acting crazy. Then she said that maybe it’s me that’s crazy and just snapped and lost all control. I picked up a picture frame and slammed it down on a chair. Then I went into her room and destroyed everything I could find. She called the police, and they arrested me because a tiny shard of glass cut my mom’s leg from the picture frame. I was 15 years old. After that, we just stopped talking. She kept saying it was my fault that I went to jail. She wasn’t completely cold however. She would cry because I wouldn’t call her. But I just couldn’t take the hurt that she brought anymore. My dad got custody of me and all charges of domestic violence was dropped. I made a few attempts to see her, but she would talked about is how wonderful God and Jesus are. Now we don’t talk. I called her on Christmas but she didn’t answer. She lives a mile away from me, and it’s so sad. I don’t cry anymore and I have more or less moved on, but it just kills me because it almost feels like my mother is dead.

I’m sorry I ranted, but this is also just helping me get it off my chest. Do you think I am being a horrible son for not talking to her? What should I do?


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