Husband leaving me for ex-wife. Any words of encouragement-I'm devastated?
My husband’s ex called him out of the blue 6 months ago- she’s going through a nasty divorce. They have been divorced 20 years!!! We have been married 5.
They have one grown daughter, I have one teenage son who lives with us.
My husband divorced her because she cheated on him many times, and when he finally found out she threw him out of his own house-told police he was abusive (lie) and got a restraining order so she wouldn’t have to leave the home.
We had a happy marriage or so I thought. I loved him, was good wife, kept nice house and romance whenever he wanted because I love it too!
Long story short, found out he is leaving me to go back to her! They have been in touch by emails and texts. The house we live in was mine before marriage. I have been unemployed but looking for 2 years. I have no money of my own. I am devastated. When he leaves I will lose everything and have to file bankruptcy-I have spoken to lawyer. I have no choice. No money to pay anything.
At age 48 I will be living with my son at my parent’s house until I get work. I slaved for years to keep that house as a single mom. Now gone.
What would posess a man to go back to someone who did that to him? The first text I saw she said she would never hurt him again-thanks for the second chance! He never even told me he was unhappy in marriage! I ask and get no answers, no explanations. Nice guy. I told him if he was unhappy he should have come to me first to at least try!
The only thing I can logically think of is that she makes good money and he is tired of scrimping without my pay.
He always hated his father because he walked out when he was a baby and he is doing the same to me. In all honesty, why would he want that tramp that dumped him? She left him for a married man!
He will come to her rescue but leave me with nothing? Anyone ever been through this? I am a good, loving woman. I will not take him back-I have dignity, but part of me wants him to realize someday what a selfish jerk he was to do that to me. My son is crushed.
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Tagged with: bankruptcy • blue 6 • dignity • Ex Wife • explanations • good wife • grown daughter • happy marriage • honesty • jerk • Live 105 • love • loving woman • marriage • married man • money • nasty divorce • nice guy • out of the blue • restraining order • romance • second chance • single mom • teenage son • texts • Tramp • unhappy in marriage • Words Of Encouragement
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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For her part: She does not like to be alone, and often people feel there is safety in the past (him).
She also likes married men (him) because it makes her feel powerful.
She is manipulative and she left him.
His part: She left him, so there was an abrupt end to the marriage for him, and he has unfinished business. Her power over him is historical and really has little to do with you (believe it or not). He is weak where she is concerned.
Your part: There is no logic in this. Unfortunately you are stuck in the middle of their drama. It has caused your own drama also. It is unforgivable what he has done to you. That you are losing YOUR home, you and your son are hurt, no excuse for it.
He is self-centered and immature and selfish and just plain weak.
I am glad you have dignity and won’t take the worm back.
She very well may dump him again, and guess who he will try to come back to?
Luckily you are strong and self-reliant and will be ok. Don’t bad-mouth him to your son.
Just remember YOU did nothing wrong.
he will be back they are ex’s for a reason. wait and see
Just thank god that your problem is walking out the door!!! he will try to come back once he find out that he still does not get along with his EX.
You’re well rid of him. Get yourself a really good divorce lawyer and take the fecker to the cleaners.
I am so sorry to hear that you are going thru such a difficult time, I know what you mean when you say why would he leave you for her, it doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. One thing I want you to really remember is that it actually has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with him, What I mean by this is you have not done anything wrong he is the one with the problem, whatever that might be because he did not discuss anything with you.
As your first answer to this question said he will be back. Good Luck!
That’s a sad story. Why don’t you write a book about it? I’ll bet people would buy your book and then you would have money.
It reinforces my belief that extramarital affairs don’t impact people’s true loves and connections. "Cheating" is way overrated. Basically your husband always had a thing for his first wife. Had, and still does. I’m very sorry that you are going through this.
One thing is because a lot of people out there are just no damn good…and hesounds like one of them!
He will realize when the same thing happens again. I believe in Karma and he’ll get his in the end. People are ex’s for a reason. Hopefully things will work out for you and your son w/your home. best of luck
Hi,
I’m so, so sorry about your situation. As the teenage daughter of a single mother double-divorcee, I can imagine what it would be like. There are a few things you’ll need to know…
1. You Are NOT The Problem.
You are not the problem. Remember that you have a son that needs you, and he is hurting as well. NEVER let yourself think that this is your fault, because it wasn’t. Instead of dwelling on it, simply tell your soon to be ex that you’re glad he’s leaving, because you now know you wasted yourself on him. You will move on, you will grow over it.
2. This Is A Hard Time.
He very obviously wasn’t committed to you, and this leaves you feeling crushed. It’s normal for you to feel this way, but keep your head above the water. If you need it, join an online chatroom about this sort of thing; there are people out there that can and will help.
3. You Are Still You!
Remember everything about yourself. You are a good, loving woman. You are a beautiful person. You have a son that relies on you, and most of all: You are you! You have talents and flaws. Use them in life. Continue looking for a job, and maybe even look outside of your career path.
4. You Are Going To Have Change.
You’ll be living with your parents, correct? Well, it’s going to be a little stressful at times (trust me–I use to spend time with my ex-step father’s family. it was hard on my mom!), but they ARE your parents and you’re an adult. You are still in charge of your son, remember that. Also, maybe you should help them take care of the house…keep looking for work and homes of your own. Start out small, go big.
5. Dive Back Into Life!
Listen to music. Go out to lunch with friends. Garden. Write. Be involved with your son! Go on a date! If you are spiritual, GO TO CHURCH.
6. Don’t Look Back.
You will regret moving on. We are humans and we second guess ourselves…don’t. Remember, that is your past. This is your future.
—
I wish you the best of luck. You sound a lot like my mom…simply an amazing person.
–Lish
Normally I am not one to particularly like Alimony payments and such, but given the situation- I say take his butt to the cleaners!!! What a donkey- but you know, the other word I can’t say on here…
Good Luck, I hope it all works out for the best for you!
In this situation it will be hard and sad no matter what. All you can do is think about your son and you. NOT HIM. Darling, you do not want him in the end. TRUST ME! I do have a similar story and you just have to move on. My husband of 8 years left me for his HS girlfriend. Now 5 years later he is still with her & they have a 3 year old son but he is miserable! He calls me and confides to me all the time. How he is so unhappy and messed up w/ me. You know what? I just look the other way. I am happily married and my ex I are are very close & in contact because we have two children together. It will all work out. You don’t want him – TRUST ME !!!!! Move on …move on ….This too shall pass. Good bless.
Everyone is right….he willll be back!!! He will realize what he lost and be devastated when he finds that his wife has not changed and he is too old for the drama. She is using him AGAIN, but he never had closure with that marriage, she knows how to push his buttons. Let him go…everything will work out fine for you. God has a way of working things out for good, he moves the obstacles out of our way so that we can receive his blessings. Your ex-husband was/is an obstacle, he has been communicating with her for awhile, even when she was with the married man he tried to get her back. He didn’t want to be alone, so he married you, even though he didn’t have closure. Him being gone is a good thing.
Don’t worry is matter of time before she leaves him again and he will come back to you but don’t take him. For now get a good lawyer and make him pay spouse support and kick him out of your house and strip from him every penny he got. How old is his ex and how does she look? Find you a good man who loves you and cares about you very soon.
Hopefully, his name isn’t on the deeds to the house. If it is, you have to give him half. If it isn’t, then the house is YOURS. Sell it when he’s gone. He sounds like a no-good bum to go back to her after she cheated on him, & he’s a rat for treating you the way he is. Actually, he’s very likely cheated on you WITH her.
You don’t need a man like that in your life.
TL DR.
Anyways, confront the two of them in front of a group of people – especially her friends and his friends. Say very loudly to her, "Every time you suck him, just think: That’s been up my butt"
Yes, it happened.You experienced it and now you know.Bless him (or them) and listen to your highest desire to move on. May God give you courage.Peace be unto you and your son.