Should I stay or should I leave?
My BF and I have know each other for 14 yrs. We had a life together for a short while and went our own way. Six years after our breakup, he calls me again and we eventually reignite the romance. Well, much into the relationship, I discover he has a drug problem. It later escalated and he lost control of the situation.
Unfortunately, by then, I discovered I was pregnant. Because I loved him, I continued to support him, while he supported his habit. Perpetually waiting for him to change. Well, our son was born and nothing ever did. I eventually kicked him out.
He hit rock bottom and ended up in prison. Having reflected for 6 mos., he claims to have seen the light and begs for a second chance. I gave it to him. I can’t shake the fear that he will go back to his old routine. He has had a few slip ups since he got out but, has been working steady and supporting his son. I do love him, but, I love my kids more. I just hate the feeling that I am taking my baby’s father away from him.
He is trying harder than he has in 2+ years to stay in our lives but, I just can’t shake the trust thing. Should I give it more time and see if he stays on the right path? Should I give in to my gut feeling and leave him? I just can’t re-live the nightmare but, I don’t want make a hasty decision that my son may hold against me one day.
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Tagged with: bf • Discover • fear • gut feeling • habit • hasty decision • love • nightmare • old routine • Pregnant • relationship • rock bottom • romance • second chance • six years • slip ups • ups
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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Bottom line: if you don’t have 100% trust, then the relationship cannot work. Your son might be angry about it now, but in the long run you will probably be doing him a favor – no kid needs to watch his dad self destruct.
don’t always follow your heart but always follow your gut
I would insist on him being in a 12 step program as well as counseling. If not or unwilling I would be concerned.
Give him another chance… wouldnt you want him to if roles were switched? Just be sure to make him well aware that this is the LAST chance.. no more games.
Just continue to take your time. its been 2 + years since he has made an mistake.
You give no credible evidence that he’s currently involved with drugs so you should give him the benefit of the doubt since you have time spent and a child with him. To give in to a gut feeling is wrong unless he proves to you he is unworthy of your son and relationship.
Consider is age too. Some men have a timeclock in their head. Once it goes off they can be ready for such commitment and real change. This of course varies from man to man. My bet: If he is now between 35 and 45, give him a chance.