How long after a jilted love until I can love again?
I dated a girl for 11 years. We never married because she didn’t believe in marriage. I truly loved her completely and never doubted her love for me. I did everything for her, above and beyond most men. When I moved to take a job in a city she wanted to be in, she decided not to follow me and left me.
Shortly after our split, which was cordial although painful, she started dating and sleeping with my best friend. I am twice the man he ever will be and it just destroys my pride she would do this. Then she begged for me back and I took her back. Then she left me again and started dating my friend again.
It’s been over a year and I still can’t help but I still feel hurt and angry. And, I still have love for her. I can’t seem to move on to love any other woman, despite dating around. Should I continue dating? Will I ever get over her? Will I ever love again?
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Tagged with: 11 years • best friend • Dating • job • love • Love Girl • marriage • pride
Filed under: How To Get Her Back
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I think you should continue dating. In due time you will get over her. and yes you will love again. You just have to meet the right person who will be mind blowing to you and will be a better woman than she could ever be. you deserve better than that. She wants to have her cake and eat it to. You have all the qualities she wants but your friend is offering her something that your not so let her go because you deserve better.
get some counseling -you are stuck and need to complete the grieving process. it’s time to move on with your life.
What the hell is wrong with you? You have got get out and meet some new girls. You owe it to yourself, my man.
yes, you will love again, just dont take the pain you feel out on the next person
Some day you will find someone to love again. In the meantime, why don’t you go see someone you can talk to and maybe see if they feel you are clinically depressed over the situation. I bet you are. Good luck.
dpends on your sign and you…why waste time on someone for even more than 2 mos if they dont ever want to marry?? thats nuts…yes you will…dont give up…there are other levels… wait 2 wks then start again….try Udate..
hoes before bros thats what campbell soup says
Until you wish to be loved again. Love Ya! Best Wishes.
Time to move on , pal…There’s ALOT of fish in the sea. It may hurt now, but time can heal all wounds…
Sounds to me like you are quite a guy. Deserve much better than what you had.
Getting over is up to you but very possible.
If your’re a chuch going person try to join a singles group there. Does not guranantee a good person but odds are a bit better than one you would meet in a bar.
Good luck
They say that it takes one months for every three months you were with someone. So, 11×4=44, which is 3.66 years to truly get over her.
Realize that this woman betrayed you and does not deserve any further emotion.
10 minutes is enough
Off course!
This too shall pass.
Think about it, it just might be infatuation.
Well my friend I tell you one thing your an optimist.You dated for 11 years.Whos’e the biggest fool?11 years, that’s not a date that’s a full blown relationship. No wonder she got fed up. You should have never taken her back, and it is you having trouble moving on.Are you really that much of a Schmuck?Of course you will love again, many times over I wouldn’t wonder.I think you need to mature a little don’t you?
you are going through a grieving period – this takes time
and although she ripped the heart out of your chest and stomped that sucker flat – trust me – you will get over it in time and meet some one really special who’ll make you wonder what you ever saw in the other one in the first place.
good luck mate
It could have been worse. She might have actually believed in marriage and did all those things.
Time not only to move on but to resume liking yourself again. Perhaps, if you really get to like yourself, you won’t have these vestiges of love for her. Figure it out. She’s not your type. You have to find someone who is.
You’ll get over it. But it won’t be soon until you make an effort.
You sound like a great guy, and she does not deserve you! Go find someone who WILL love you back in the same way and who WILL appreciate everything that you do for her and who WILL marry you. Someone who WILL NOT sleep with your best friend. It sounds like you need to drop both their @sses.
you will once you find a girl that can replace the love she once gave you and it will be different and then you’ll wonder why you’ve waited so long. so til you find the replacement it probably will be hard. jus take things slow and dont be too afraid to take risks again, good luck
After being with her for 11 years it is definitely going to take some time for you to get over her. You took her back and she did the same thing to you again so I think its pretty obvious that she doesnt respect your feelings or the relationship. Take some time to get over her. How long really depends on the individual. I know some people who have spent months getting over a bad relationship. You will get through this but don’t rush it. Also don’t rush into dating again until you can go through a day or two without feeling that pain in your heart for your ex.
It will take 2 years, 8 months, 2 weeks, 3 days and 13 hours (I rounded to the nearest hour). You need to put that relationship behind you. I won’t say forget it because you can’t. You can learn to accept it. Your friend wasn’t much of a friend and neither was the girl. Both should have known how th relationship would affect you. Keep dating, don’t go into long sob stories with any new girl about the old. They hate that. If they want to know why you didn’t marry, give them the 25 word version, not the 25 minute. When you meet the right person you will know.
I did after my crash and burn. And she is a hell of a lot better.
Wow another sucker like me.
Heres my 2 cents friend. When the time is right it will happen. What I call our situation Is the Knight in shining armor, we tend take a relationship a bit more seriously.
The one thing though is you will never fully trust her again. That is Never.
When the time comes you may find someone again. For me someone I could relate to have fun with and trust was the hard part. Dates were not to hard to come by but friend with benefits only works so long before you want something deeper. Took me a couple of years.
Remember without trust and communication relationships wont work.
Good Luck to you. The mind games really suck for both sexes.
yes you will love again ..there are more fishes in the sea that isnt caught before .. take your pride and move on ..keep on dating . just no who you decided to fall in love with again once bitten twice shy … forgetting her may be the best thing you will ever do ….thank you …
Of course you should date, and often. Her back and forth behavior after the initial split seems immature. But stop thinking about her and find another one. She may, incidentally, be right about marriage. Think what a worse situation you’d both have been in had you been married when you broke up.
Yes, you can love again. Yes, you should continue to date, You WILL get over her. Those are matters of the heart. No one can truely tell what you are going through. All those things are for you to decide. I’m young, but I have major trust issues with the male variety, because of past issues and things that have gone wrong with my parents. I know what it feels to be lonely, thinking that everything will be alright. I know what it feels like to know they are out there, but you just arn’t ready. Hold on, buddy.
Hold on here…. you said that you took a job in a city that she wanted to be in and she left you? Say what?
She and your so called Best friend did the NO-NO. She’s a bi-ch and he’s an as-hole! They deserve eachother. I can’t understand why in God’s name did you take her back? WHY? SHE screwed the relationship up not you.
You my friend need closer, you must find your way to put closer to this. No one can help you, but , whatever you do, stay away from the two people whom you loved and trusted.
Good Luck
betray someone you love is beneath contempt,if she has done it once whats to say she would not do it again everybody needs to feel security in a relationship ,your so called friend did not help.
When the right woman comes along, you’ll be able to let go. You’ll see. I’ve been there.
Yes! You will find love again! That is such an awful thing your girlfriend did to you, I’m so sorry to hear it. No one should have to experience that kind of hurt. Man, you deserve SO much better. And although it doesn’t feel like it now, there ARE girls out there who will appreciate you for who you are, and who would melt at the thought of being your wife. So I say turn around, put your back to this girl and this awful experience and never, ever look back. And as soon as you can fathom getting back out on dates again, do it! The girls need a guy with real heart out there.
And when you meet her — and you WILL meet her — you will know! —Amy
.-= The Dating Optimist´s last blog ..Harry Potter: The “Magic” of Optimism =-.