Do you have a Christmas tradition you want to pass on to your children?
During the holiday season I like to get liquored up, dress in a monkey suit and tour the department stores, trying to get my picture taken with Santa. Nine times out of ten I get thrown out by security, but that one time I got a photo vomiting on Santa whilst being restrained by the elves, makes up for it all. That’s the magic of Christmas.
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Tagged with: christmas • Christmas Tradition • department stores • elves • holiday season • Magic 102 • magic of christmas • monkey suit • nine times • photo • vomiting
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Our family Christmas traditions will melt your heart:
1. Mom usually gets drunk by noon, and falls into the Christmas tree….
2. The tree knocks over a lovely arrangement of candles and sets the curtains on fire….
3. When the fire truck finally arrives, all of the children are bustling with excitement …. Look! A Firetruck!!!
4. After the fire is out, our lucky next door neighbors get to cook dinner for ALL 17 of us …. yeah!!!
5. No dishes to wash and FREE food and liquor for everyone!
Yippppeeee …. yahoooo!
I just love the holidays … don’t you ….?
yes on x-mas eve we always go to a some ones house and celebrate
if i ever squeeze any little rug rats out i guess i’ll pass on the tradition of giving one gift to each person on christmas eve before we go to bed. usually it’s a pair of pajamas or something like that. you don’t want to give a really cool toy cause then the kids are up all night with the darn thing.
No children and no traditions! Bah hum bug!
Yea, every year we all see who can drink the most without passing out. Whatever "old folk" passes outh first we take their dentures AND bifocals and hide them .
I don’t have kids. Thanks for rubbing it in my face that I was born with girl & boy parts.
I come from a long line of women pacing around the house with a whiskey sour, a hand on the hip, crying. We are a proud people.
i’d like to make some children with you….does that count?
You warm my heart K-MAC with your x-mas story…and something else as well.
Every year me and the ol man dress as Mr. & Mrs. Claus…he looks very handsome in his suit and I am ideed the sexist Mrs. C. around in my Fredrick’s of Hollywood claus suit…..we do this of course for the neighbor hood kids…well one year..I will never forget this an old man brought his granddaughter to sit on Santas lap…while she was sitting there he came over to get his picture taken with Mrs. Claus and lo and behold the old fart put his face in my cleveage started shaking his head back and forth blowing rasberries on the boobies…I’ll never forget the look on his granddaughters face as the picture was snapped… some cal it shock & horror…I call it just plain happy that her pa-pa got boobies…fond, fond memories…..It was kinda sad though the old guy made a mess in his pants he said it was pee….but we all know different..
I used the Christmas money that my grandmother gave me for some blow one year. I bought it from my cousin. So I just want my kid to remember how important family is. Especially the family members with money and/or drugs.
Getting drunk and going tree tipping
I told you dem kids ain’t mine I ain’t da baby’s daddy. Ahh the good ole tradition of drinking and driving back from a Christmas party. JK kids dont drink and drive…….you might spill your beer
only baking gingerbread cookies and decorating the christmas tree together. nothin’ too special, i guess.