My ex is mad that i had her son around my new girlfriend.. Is this right?
My and my ex where together for like 3 years when we got together she had a 3 year old son and is 8 now. By the time of the break up he was calling me his step dad, and the kid really loves me. Well i cheated on my ex and we broke up, crushed his heart that i wasnt there all the time, but i still saw him not as much as i should but i was there. Well now that i have more free time i can see him more. I pick him up once a week from school and take him back to my house and we do his home work, cook dinner, watch tv, play games and talk. Normally its jus me and him, my new girlfriend usaully leaves wheile he is there and has never meet him out of respect, she never wanted him to feel weird. Well i talk to him about her, and she even bought him his own spider man plate for when he comes over, well he asked to meet her. So yesterday she stayed home with me and was there with him. He had a great time, she even went and bought monolpy for us all to play since i dont have any board games for him… They talked and he really liked her, when me and him were jus in the store he pointed to a chcocalte heart and said "why dont you buy this for your girlfriend i think she should will like it"…. So i’m driving him home like cool they both had a great time he was so happy he was like next week i’m beating both of you in monolpoy.. Well when i tell his mom that she was there she got MAD. She said that i disrespected her, she said i should of told her first and let her decide.. Like decide what?? You know i’m a good father figure( better that his real dad but thats another story) but she is second guessing my descion. I know the only reason she does not want her around is cause i cheated with her. They also got into a fight 3 years ago, my ex showed up at me and my girlfriends place and started a fight with her… I jus want peace is she wrong for not waitning her around isn’t this childish??? He loves me i love him, he has a good positive time with me and thats whats important right?? Shouldnt we do whats best for the kid not what makes her boar float??? Side note i don’t smoke in the house when he is there, i barley curse in front of him i dont drink beers in front of him, like some people(her) but yet she says she has to decide how she is gonna proceed with this, lol…. HELP
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Tagged with: 3 years • board games • cook dinner • descion • father figure • fight 3 • free time • great time • heart • jus • leaves • mom • new girlfriend • peace • Play Games • spider man • step dad • usaully • watch tv
Filed under: How To Get Her Back
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Ill give my answer, since I AM THE PERSON YOU ARE REFERING TOO.. First of all, My son was just turning 2 when we got together, we were together for over 4 years. Not sure how many of those years you were actually faithful. We have tried time and time again to work things out and you ALWAYS run back to the girl you cheated on me for. FINE!!!!!!!! You proposed to me, Im over you. This has NOTHING To do with you other than your lack of respect for me THE MOTHER of the child. So Since you want to come on here and try and act all wholesome.. Lets put the truth out there. Your girlfriend has a child also, that she DOES NOT have custody of. And lets also put out there that you and your girlfriend go through so many ups and downs which MANY OF THEM I have had to rescue you from. YOU two fight like your two drunk men in a bar. You thought you could get away with being sneaky because you knew damn well I wouldnt approve. Dont even go trying to make me look like a bad mom or person because I wanted to fight the girl you were bringing in my house, while driving my car while I was at work to feed you and my son and myself and pay bills and keep a roof over everyones head. She is a low class tramp. I dont want my son around her POINT B LANK.. Now you have pissed me off that u didnt disclose ALL OF THE TRUTH.. Hows that for TRUTH
Its normal for her to be upset and just remember she is a girl and emotions play a part in all of that and she doesnt want to be replaced should respect her wishes for now
I agree that you probably should have ran it past her first. But, not to ask… I would have TOLD her that your girlfriend is going to be there. It’s not her right to decide what goes on in YOUR house. As long as the girlfriend isn’t stepping over boundaries (telling the son to call her mom, being mean to him, etc) then it shouldn’t be a problem. On the other hand, this is the women she lost you to. That makes a bit of an exception… if it were some other girl, then things might be different. Perhaps she is worried that your girlfriend may talk badly about her to or around your son. That would tick me off. I would suggest having a discussion with your ex and try to work it out. If she really feels uncomfortable with her there around her son, then she might not want him to go there anymore and she very well could not allow him to go over to your house anymore. If you were the biological father, it would be different (that’s just the way the laws are — not trying to be a b**** here). Just try talking with her… maybe a phone conversation would be best when little man is in bed asleep. Good luck.
Yikes! This a sticky, icky situation. First, on behalf of society, thank you for stepping up and being a father figure to this little boy! His life will turn out all the better because you didn’t leave him when you left his mother.
Now on to the meat. Place yourself in your ex’s shoes. You are doing your best to be a good boyfriend and you find out she’s scewing someone else. Not only that but the dude is so tough, he shows up at your doorstep to fight you. And guess what, when it’s all said and done she wants to be with him and not you! How low would that make you feel?
Yes, it was a long time ago for you but she relives that pain every time she sees you. To throw salt in the wound you bring around your girlfriend who the son has no choice but to like (after all he’s a got Spiderman plate and games to play now, she’s awesome!) and he has to go home to mom who makes him take baths and do chores. It’s like she been ditched twice! She knows that your good for him, that’s why she let’s him see you but it also hurts that you’ve brought this girl that she knows for a fact can be mean and nasty around her child.
Like it or not, decision regarding children are made between adults. Although he wanted to meet her, it wasn’t your place to bring your girlfriend into the mix without your ex’s permission. Now, although it seems silly, you have to apologize. Discuss with you ex, that you’d like it if your girlfriend could be around more often, but you don’t want to step on her toes. You have to assure her that her child will always been safe around you even when your girlfriend is around.
I wish the best of luck with this situation. Just remember to take it all in stride.